For those who met their FI/BF Online

katanne9

I'm very intrigued! My cousin married a guy she met on e-harmony, but i don't have any close friends who have tried the online route, so I guess I'm just curious from the previous post! This seems to be very common now.

How does it work? Are there a lot of duds? How did you find each other/decide to meet?

One of my best friends is thinking of giving the online thing a go, so I'd love to hear how your experiences were!

PaigeMcC

My experience was great! We met on MSN messenger so it's not quite the same but funny background...we both discovered that we had lavalife accounts while we were chatting and connected on there as well.

I've had friends that have done the online dating with success and some that haven't.  It really depends on how open you are to the whole thing.  I wouldn't say you should go on there and expect to find your soulmate in a few weeks but it can be done!

We decided to meet because we felt a connection, we knew eachother very well (all the chatting online) and just felt like it was the right time!  Tell your friend to go for it - just remember that you can find great guys but also some real creeps!!

Anon I. Mouse

I have done a couple other dating sites in past (lavalife, etc) and met and dated people (couple long term relationships, one very serious (though it did not last!)) however I found many of those sites lacking.

When I decided to give it another go, I went the eHarmony route (their commercials finally suckered me in with their cheesiness). You have to fill out a bazillion-questions-long profile, and they use this to start matching you. When you get matches, you can decide to start communication, or close the match. You can always "rate" the matches so they can narrow down your likes a little better (other person never sees ratings).

You can go either to open communication (request it) or go via the guided communication. I always did the guided as it is a benefit that eHarmony does that, versus other sites, I think.

I will say...most people I know have tried it. Some loved it, some hated it. It can be frustrating, and it can be a lot of fun. I think where people get repulsed by it is the "online shopping" mentality that can come along with it; and sometimes there are some creeps, however I think the key is to balance your time, and your expectations, and be rather open to opportunities.

Just to demonstrate how long of a process it can be...I probably had over 300 matches in the couple months I was on there (I'd get ten new ones every couple days), closed about 250 of those immediately, another 45 of those after we started communicating, met about 5, and only went past a first date for 1 (the FI).

FI had over 750 matches, closed something like 747 of them either right away or early on in the guided process, went onto exchanging emails with a handful, met two or three, and only went past a first date on 2, and went past three or so dates on 1 (me).

kailss

i actually met my bf on myspace...again, not exactly a dating site. he found me and sent me a private message, we started chatting and getting to know eachother. we met in person after a couple weeks and started dating a few days after that. now 3 1/2 years later we're living together and talking marriage.

i do agree with pp tho, there are a TON of creepers on the internet. i met a few really weird ones. one of which, after i met him, used me to cheat on his gf [which he lied about having] and stole $400 from me.

if you can sift through all the crap, there are some really genuinely great guys out there!

cstasz1384

As I posted in the other thread, I met my BF on eharmony. I was on there for about a year before meeting him. During that year I met only two guys face to face and talked to a few others on the phone. Of the two I met, one I ended (he was crazy! LOL) and the other one ended it with me. It can be frustrating, especially in the communication process because you may be into them but they close communication and you're left hanging. You have to go into it with the right mentality and realize that just like you're getting ten matches a day, they are too.

I do have to point out that I like eharmony much better than match.com. Eharmony gives you matches based on your personailty profile and what you are actually looking for in a relationship. Match is simply a search engine and I wasn't too impressed with anyone on there. Met one, turned out to be quite the jerk! My cousin was also frustrated with match even though her brother met his wife on there but she just tried eharmony recently and is very happy with the results. My BF's brother is now trying it as well.

Hazel_B

As I mentioned on the other thread I met my BF on lavalife. The one thing I will say is regardless of the site, remember people have completely different expectations...not unlike meeting someone randomly offline. However, online they are hidden alot more and you need to be smart about things.

That being said, the more people are willing to pay for a site the more serious I think they are willing to be. Free sites like Plenty of Fish the crazies are a little more abundant. By the time you get to eharmony I think people are much more serious.

In my experience, I found the online thing very overwhelming. Unlike some previous posts, I'd recommend meeting the person early on in a very public place for something casual like coffee. The guys I thought I had an amazing connection with online turned out to be duds in real time. I found the disappointment that much worse on eharmony when there was no physical attraction.

I found my BF in about 5 months.

Anon I. Mouse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_those-met-their-fibf-online?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0d48d423-f91d-46e8-9974-ea9877a1be41Post:ac4dcdfc-830c-46f6-9c45-69185fe9c6e2">Re: For those who met their FI/BF Online</a>:
[QUOTE]. Unlike some previous posts, I'd recommend meeting the person early on in a very public place for something casual like coffee. The guys I thought I had an amazing connection with online turned out to be duds in real time. I found the disappointment that much worse on eharmony when there was no physical attraction. I found my BF in about 5 months.
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

Not sure if I gave the impression that you should not meet early in my previous post....if I did I would like to say I agree with this. If I was interested in someone, I always met them within 1-2 weeks from our first contact depending on our schedules. If they hemmed and hawed about it, I stopped contact with them.

There is too much risk of "building a fantasy" otherwise in my opinion and I have seen that happen a lot. Things like physical attraction (i.e. appearance, smell) are important, as are their habits and such in person (are they very anxious and jittery?) and people can be very selective of what they share and show about themselves when it is still online.

As mentioned on another post, I met FI within one week from our first communication on eHarmony.

We both have always preferred to call it "online meeting" rather than "online dating". To us both, it was never about dating and we don't think "dating" can be done online, it was about making first contact :)

tafft1

I've met 90% of my previous boyfriends from online because i never had much self esteem or confidence to introduce myself in person as well this is how i met my FI. Note however this is just my personal reasons why at first i went the online route and over time because i felt so comftorable online it just went on from there

How i met my FI was a rather odd situation. My ex boyfriend and i had just officially called it quits a few days before hand , though the relaitionship had been dead for months. After extensive crying and wondering why i seemed to be cursed , i decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and i needed a change. i played world of warcraft with my ex and those who play may understand why i wanted to switch servers. Well after some looking around i found a post on an alternative lifestyle relationship type site under a wow recruitment post. I replied and we instantly sent emails back and forth and hopped on yahoo shortly after. We also talked in Vent , a voice chat program and felt the conncection very quickly.

It wasn't until May of this year that we met in person , but that moment sealed it for us , and we knew even then we were going to be together. Though i will understand and respect those who feel we have moved too fast , life has taught me you have to do whats best for you without worrying what others believe in. Happiness can only be measured on your own terms. I am a fan of online meeting but like anything there are precautions , just be smart about it and who knows what can happen