Talk to me about...

PaigeMcC

head tables,sweetheart tables, etc.  What are you doing/do you want to do? Pros and cons?  What's the big deal?

IMHO I have no problem with the big wedding party at the front and everyone else chillin' in the rest of the room.  It's not a big deal to me.  I can sit for an hour or two without FBD.  We're not attached at the hip.  I've actually never seen it done any other way...until I came on here and was told it was a big no no.

Thoughts?

oceana919

I was in two weddings in the last year - one where we sat at a head table, and one where we were able to sit wherever.

A head table isn't too bad if the wedding party knows each other. If you have a bunch of people in your wedding that are just meeting each other that day, then it can be awkward. Also, say your BM's husband doesn't know anyone there but the bride and groom and his wife - can make for awkward seating when he has to sit by himself with strangers.

Myself, I prefer doing the sweetheart table - it gives the bride and groom a chance to have some time together, just the two of them (brief as it may be), and allows your wedding party to sit with their partners/family/friends. For our wedding, most of our wedding party are coming in from out of town - letting them sit with the rest of the guests allows them additional time to visit with family and catch up.

PaigeMcC

I really can't decide.  I like the idea that FBD and I would have some time together but at the same time my BM's and his GM's are mostly good friends and most of their SO's know each other (or some others in the room) Iunno what to do.  lol

[Deleted User]

I've actually never been to a wedding where they did a sweetheart table, and I've been to ALOT of weddings.  That would be a tough decision though.  I always liked that the wedding party got "special attention" but I also remember from being in weddings that it was akward when my date had to sit all alone to eat because he didn't know anyone.

Hmmm... So...yeah..I really don't have an answer at all do I... Haha..

PaigeMcC

Jeter you are no help =P

calindi

I'm rather non-traditional - as many of you know, I don't really want a wedding party to begin with.  At the same time, I don't see us sitting by ourselves.  We'll probably sit at a normal round table with our siblings and their significant others - then each parent can have a table with their closest friends, and other tables for grandparents and those sides of the family.

As far as separating bridal party members from their significant others, I'd never do it. 

loves2shop4shoes

I'm probably going to do a sweetheart table.  This way, the BP can sit with their SOs.

HeartOverMind

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_talk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0de6bb6e-a9a2-43f9-8644-0de13f86c708Post:539ff415-ba0c-4bf6-9c79-5c7488ba8680">Re: Talk to me about...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm rather non-traditional - as many of you know, I don't really want a wedding party to begin with.  At the same time, I don't see us sitting by ourselves.  We'll probably sit at a normal round table with our siblings and their significant others - then each parent can have a table with their closest friends, and other tables for grandparents and those sides of the family. <strong>As far as separating bridal party members from their significant others, I'd never do it. 
</strong>Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

This.

I like the idea of the sweetheart table...I think it's really cute and romantic. If I had one person in my wedding party who had a SO who didn't know anyone at the wedding, I would not do the head table. 

I'm sure you'll make the right choice. Good luck. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>

babybchbum

We are doing a sweet heart table because it is OUR day and frankly some of our Bridal Party is beginning to pi$$ us off. We want to be able to enjoy our day and if we did a head table I think we would have more people trying to put their $.02 in (and that is what would cause me to become BRIDEZILLA!)

Beads921

Having been the partner of someone in the WP before, it sucks. It's bad enough that you're kind of separated all day, then you can't even enjoy your dinner together (especially bad you don't know anyone else at the wedding), but I'm also kinda selfish. I mean, a head table looks nice, and is nice if the WP all know one another, but otherwise I like the idea of a sweetheart table or something like what calindi suggested. I think a nice idea if you have a small WP (as in 2 attendants each or something, which would be my ideal WP) would be to have the WP, their dates, and the bride and groom sit together, so no one is alone.

bakes218

One of my friends who just got married did family tables. So the bride and groom sat with their parents and a few siblings and then right next to them were the BM's and GM's and their significant others. It was really nice she said because they were at a round table all together with family and their friends right nearby.

If I was not eloping, that is probably what I would do.

Hazel_B

I'm torn on the idea because I think each wedding has unique circumstances.

For example, the last wedding I was in the bride and groom and BM and MOH all sat at a round table together. I know my BF was quite frustrated because he had to sit elsewhere (and barely knew other people) and there was clearly enough room at our table for him as well as the BM's GF. In this case I think a sweetheart table would have been better or sit the parents with them or some other idea. 

I've also been in large wedding parties and that is really awkward, mainly cause I only knew 1 BM, the couple and 1 GM and wasn't seated near any of them. You get over it though.

IMO just have an open mind about it. If your WP knows eachother and their SOs know other people, do what you like. If, that isn't the case then I think it is a good idea to keep your options open.

calindi

I kind of figure... it's your wedding.  Who do you WANT to sit with?  If it's your bridal party, then do that (though I would still have their significant others at the same table, rather than separating couples - I just think there's so many downsides to not including significant others and no upsides to separating them).  If it's just your MOH and BM (and their significant others), then do that. If it's your parents, then do that.  If you want to sit at a sweetheart table, then do that.

For us, it's our siblings.  Parents can sit at their own tables nearby, and grandparents can have their own tables (my mom's parents hate each other, so putting grandparents at their table would be a baaaaad idea).

Elle1036

This is a good thread, Paige!  I'm digging all the ideas.  I've always thought that, since BF and I will probably have a small wedding party, we can make room for their SOs at our table, but, then again, I feel like it could be awkward for the SOs to be seated there in the thick of things when they don't really know us...  However, I think separating the bridal party from their SOs would be asking for drama.

I really don't like the idea of a sweetheart table, though.  I've always thought of weddings as being about family and friends, and I don't want to cut myself off from them -- I'll have the rest of my life to eat dinner alone with BF.

heyimbren

I loooooove sweetheart tables. I don't like the idea of the WP sitting without their SOs. I could easily survive dinner and enjoy dinner without BF, but I'd honestly just enjoy it more if I could spend it with him. I wouldn't fuss about it, I don't think I'd say anything, but I do have a personal preference.

However, I've also heard of people doing a family head table like Bakes said. I think that's cute too.

nottheonlydreamer44

Paige thank you for starting this thread as it's something I have been stressing over as well!

I did a full head table last time and it wasn't bad because honestly no one even sat down the whole time. It was nice to have the party "recognized" and I loved it. This time we are doing a sweetheart table with a twist. We are only keeping our BM and MOH at the table with us and then the rest of of the WP is sitting at a table right by us with their significant others, if they have one. It encourages talking and hopefully makes everyone feel like their spouse is important too.

Good idea? I hope!

babybchbum

PS.... PAIGE YGPM

loopy82

I have only ever been to weddings that have a head table. I've never been to a wedding with a sweetheart table. We contemplated it for our wedding. There were a few reasons why we decided not to. One reason is that I am a mess when I eat and don't want all that more attention on me being at this extra special table. Weird I know, but it is what it is. Another reason is that in our venue, where the head table was there is a long window that was the length of the table and just looked great together. We didn't have the problem of SO's not knowing anyone else. We had other gatherings and such that allowed for SO's that didn't know others to meet them. I'm glad I did a head table vs. a sweetheart table.

leia1979

Paige, I don't think there's a right or wrong way (despite what some people on TK say).

Most of my friends have had sweetheart tables. Most of FI's friends have had head tables. I liked the idea of the sweetheart table, but FI was on the fence until he was at a head table a couple months ago. He didn't like that he could only talk to the people immediately on either side of him (his other friends were the BMs). He also didn't like that I was as far away as possible to still be in the same room, seated at a table of only four people (set for ten) and I only knew one person, who wasn't there half the time.

Some people say "it's just 30 min for dinner" but it was actually several hours, starting with being all by myself during the ceremony and cocktail hour plus another hour or so at dinner. Sure, I survived it just fine, but it wasn't much fun as the only people I knew were in the bridal party.

Anyway, during that wedding FI said "let's have a sweetheart table instead." I'm going to put tables with family and bridal party members as close to our table as possible.

[QUOTE]It encourages talking and hopefully<strong> makes everyone feel like their spouse is important too.</strong> Good idea? I hope!
Posted by nottheonlydreamer44[/QUOTE]

Yes, I like this very much. I felt very unwelcomed at the wedding I described above. I think I was at the leftover table.

jemmini6

I kind of want to do a mix of both.  I don't like head tables because they are too long, then everytime you (the bride and groom) want to get up, you have to walk all the way around.  I also don't like the idea of splitting couples.  My 'plan' for now is to have a sweetheart table for just the two of us, then have 2 round tables sort of flanking ours where the bridal party will be seated with their SO's/family.  That way, they are still sort of at the front of the room with us, but they will get to sit with their partners and we get our privacy.

Even if I liked the traditional head table, I really couldn't do one.  3 of the 6 people in our BP will have infants at our wedding, so they will definitely need to sit with them.

PaigeMcC

wo0! I'm glad everyone got so into this.  It's really been bugging me lately.  I think I'm going to talk to the ladies/gentlemen and see what they think.  I kind of like the idea of a sweetheart table with the ladies at a table (with SOs) on one side and the gentlemen (with SOs) on the other.  Kind of like o0o wedding party but not separation.

Thanks for the help, input, advice and opinions ladies!!  

PaigeMcC

Also BBB YGPM!

Starlight Kel

Whatever I'd do, it would NOT be a head table unless SO were allowed.  When I was a BM we had a head table and it sucked.  I didn't know anyone else and I was the youngest one there. 

katanne9

We had a sweetheart table because it was the most functional for us.

Here is why:

- We could eat really quickly and then start our rounds of table visits without having to worry about a whole table of people being served

- We just sat our BP with SOs/friends/whatever. Less awkward for them and they got to sit with who they wanted

- It was a better general table flow layout. We had our little table in the very middle and got to be surrounded by everyong

- Everyone could see us. I dislike going to weddings where I'm trying to peer around to see the bride and groom.



But i'm biased. I hate head tables. ; )

[Deleted User]

We're doing a sweetheart table.  I've been to 4 weddings in the past year and a half and 2 of them had head tables and 2 had sweetheart tables...they were all nice.  We just liked the idea of the sweetheart table better for us.  Our reception venue uses the long rectangle tables instead of the round tables and the way they angle them in the room, it'll be like we're sitting with everyone. 

The lady at our venue suggested (before we could ask the question that was on our list) that we reserve tables for the immediate family, bridal party and their families (to cut costs, even though we would love to have gobs of kids at the wedding, the only kids we're allowing are family kids and kids of the bridal party) - we're going to ask them to just say "immediate family and bridal party" on the reservation cards - we're hoping they'll all mix up when they get to the venue.  And it will be really nice for one of my BM's who will be nursing her baby (probably about 2 months old at that point).

PaigeMcC

I'm starting to like the idea of sweetheart table more and more BUT I really can't picture how it would look at the wedding.  I've seen the room set up for weddings (a few times) and it's always been the one long table at the front and then the rounds around the room.

Anyone have some pics?

katanne9

*off to look

katanne9

Okay, so our tables were set up on 3 sides of the room. Bar on the 4th side and the dance floor in the middle. We were in the middle

Okay, this is a bad drawing but like this (sweetheart table being the X):

                      BAR
              
O     O                                 O      O
   O           dance floor            O
O     O                                 O     O
    O       O                    O        O
          O       O      O           O
               O       X        O


http://eieiophotography.zenfolio.com/katharineandbrian/h137b7a1a#h137b7a1a

http://eieiophotography.zenfolio.com/katharineandbrian/h1eed65e2#h1eed65e2

http://eieiophotography.zenfolio.com/katharineandbrian/h22df24a2#h22df24a2

http://eieiophotography.zenfolio.com/katharineandbrian/h1eed65e2#h1eed65e2

breezerb

I have never been to a wedding where they did anything BUT a head table.  This is just the way it usually is done here.  And all the SOs usually sit with each other and I don't know that it's ever a problem.  Maybe it's a regional thing?

Bec20

I'd like to do a sweetheart table when the time comes. Having a little bit of time to be able to talk without being surrounded by other people sounds good to me.

PaigeMcC

Ohhh! Kat that helps a lot!!  I really couldn't picture what it would look like.  I'm going to talk to FBD and see what he thinks.