Not Engaged Yet

I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)

So, FI is out of town for the weekend.  I'm bored and lonely and that led me to do something stupid.

I cheated.  On my wedding dress.

(Ha.  Did I get anybody???)

Apologies in advance -- the salon wouldn't let me take pictures.

Anyway, I feel so stupid.  I never thought I was the type to have dress doubt, or even put too much thought into my dress, or even want to look all that bridal in the first place.  But, as it turns out, I'm all of those things.

So here's the story.  I've had my eye on this Jim Hjelm:


for a long time.  Since well before I started dress shopping.  But it's more dress than I ever thought I would want, and I knew it would be out of my price range, so I tried not to think too much about it.  I just love the ruffles and the movement.

Anyway, I ended up buying this dress (for those who don't remember) a couple months ago:


And since then, I've been unsure about it.  I feel like it makes me look a little short and bottom-heavy, but until recently I've been willing to chalk that up to an unflattering picture of a dress that didn't fit right anyway.  Surely it'll be better when it's my size and I have my hair and makeup done, right?

...

Then I found this (clicky) etsy listing for a reproduction of the Jim Hjelm, well within my price range.  I even like it better than the original.  It doesn't have the beading on the bust and it's not quite as poofy.

So today, I located the original Jim Hjelm in a local shop and went by to try it on.  It was amazing.  Definitely too much dress for me, but the shape and the movement were unbelievable.  And I didn't feel short and bottom-heavy.  I felt tall and hourglassy.

So now I'm torn.  I'm going to give myself a couple weeks to mull things over, but I'm considering ordering the etsy dress and trying to sell my first dress when it comes in.  Ugh.  I can't believe I might become a two-dress bride.

Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)

  • becunning2becunning2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you look gorgeous in the dress you bought--but I can understand why you're drawn to the dress you just tried on. It's super pretty!

    Definitely think about it for awhile before you make any kind of decision. You don't want to have dress regrets on your wedding day. :P

    And no, you didn't get me, but that's because I knew you were arleady going to try on another wedding dress. :)
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys.  The etsy seller's page says she can accomodate anyone who's wedding is in April 2012 or later.  Mine's in June, so I'm guessing I have a couple months before I would absolutely have to order.  I think, by then, my original will be in so I'll get to try it on in my size and see how I feel.  So you guys are right.  I just need to wait a while.
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I love your original dress. I think you look beautiful but the second one.  I would wait to try your dress on again.  If you still don't feel awesome then go look at the other ones!  I think you are going to be beautiful no matter what you pick. 

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Ray.  I'm already feeling better about it.  Bottom line:  it's just a dress I'm going to wear once.  And they're both really pretty.  I'll be happy no matter what I decide to do.
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Good idea!  *hugs*  Love you!!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would wait. I also had some dress doubt, but in the end it looked great. I think you will, too! A dress that fits will look way better.
  • caitlin.cavecaitlin.cave member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I haven't even thought about a dress aside from looking through a magazine, but that seller is so cool!  You may have saved me like $600 on whatever I eventually decide. :)
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Haha you're welcome, Caitlin.
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I really like the dress you already purchased, but I also like the Etsy reproduction dress.  It is very pretty. 

    I do think you're right, though, to wait until your dress comes in to try it on and then decide.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP that you should wait until your dress comes in.  I had a little bit of dress doubt for a while and when I went bridesmaid dress shopping I tried my dress on again (to compare with the 'maids of course) and I didn't want to take it off.  Now I can't wait until my dress comes in and I haven't doubted it since.  You may feel doubt now but once you try on YOUR dress, you will fall in love with it all over again.  Your dress looks perfect on you and flatters your body.  Don't think about it too much and just wait until it comes in.

    You are going to be such a beautiful bride!
  • jorja86jorja86 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think you look absolutely gorgeous in the dress that you bought. I don't think it makes you look short, or bottom heavy at all. But, what matters is how YOU feel in it. I agree with everyone else though, and think you should probably wait to try on the original dress again.
    image
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the support everyone.  You girls are the best-est.

    I'm definitely going to wait until it comes in and see how I feel then.  I'm also going to make sure that my mom and one of my friends come with me for my fitting.  I think maybe I'm just doubting it because I picked it out by myself and didn't have anybody reassuring me.  So that might help, too.
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:7d4b3f9c-079f-48d9-93f1-e8173ef2a3ab">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the support everyone.  You girls are the best-est. I'm definitely going to wait until it comes in and see how I feel then.  I'm also going to make sure that my mom and one of my friends come with me for my fitting. <strong> I think maybe I'm just doubting it because I picked it out by myself and didn't have anybody reassuring me.  So that might help, too.
    </strong>Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I know how you feel.  I found "the dress" and then flew to TX so my mom could see it and I could make SURE it was the one!

    I think if you have your mom and/or a friend with you to reassure you, you will remember why you fell in love with the dress!
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:0b71a524-ead5-4b60-a579-4799cd5ee8a8">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly) : I know how you feel.  I found "the dress" and then flew to TX so my mom could see it and I could make SURE it was the one! I think if you have your mom and/or a friend with you to reassure you, you will remember why you fell in love with the dress!
    Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, Steph. I think you're probably right. I'm actually starting to feel more and more sure about my dress, so as soon as I get my decision validated I'm sure I'll feel better.
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Do not make me stop in Mississippi and knock some sense into your head.  Because I will.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:56498810-9884-4fe0-87a3-8bb37247e581">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do not make me stop in Mississippi and knock some sense into your head.  Because I will.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]



    Is that supposed to be a threat? Because I would love it if that happened.
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:94e78019-d00f-4446-91aa-8680c9bb2b63">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly) : Is that supposed to be a threat? Because I would love it if that happened.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    <div>Lol.  Maybe.  We'll see.  Maybe I'll come down like the 30th of December and crash your NYE.  :)</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I've been thinking about crashing your wedding.  Dressed as Hermione.</div>
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Elle- We've talked about this. You need to keep your dress on and your vag to yourself. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:eb51ad8c-8017-49bb-99e9-d2d72206ebf6">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Elle- We've talked about this. You need to keep your dress on and your vag to yourself. 
    Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm sorry we (we being myself and my vag, of course) have disappointed you, Hets.</div><div>
    </div><div>Oh, and omg hi!  How is your life?</div><div>
    </div><div>[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly) : Lol.  Maybe.  We'll see.  Maybe I'll come down like the 30th of December and crash your NYE.  :) Also, I've been thinking about crashing your wedding.  Dressed as Hermione.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]</div><div>
    </div><div>YES.  To all of the above, but especially the last part.</div><div>
    </div><div>Oh, and I found this for you:</div><div>
    </div><div>
    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/12/2/bcb7c4e1-11c8-4e85-925a-77484fa9ea33.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'bcb7c4e1-11c8-4e85-925a-77484fa9ea33', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/12/2/bcb7c4e1-11c8-4e85-925a-77484fa9ea33.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
    </div>
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You know it turns me on.  I'll bring a date.  And I'll dress him as Snape.  And then we'll make out on your dance floor.  It's going to be amazing.
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    Methinks that both dresses are sub-par since they are not woven out of pony and unicorn hair.

    Sorry to break the news to you...
  • edited December 2011
    I'm bad.  I looooooove the Jim Helm.  *swoon*

    You look gorgeous in the dress you have, but that Jim Helm one is just dreamy. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker imageimageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Shoes:  Fair point.  If I wear a phoenix feather in my hair, though, it makes up for the lack of unicorn hair in the dress, right?

    Mutley:  ENABLER!  But yeah, it's amazing.
  • edited December 2011
    Ummm...obviously phoenix feathers negate lack of unicorn hair.  That is like Potions 101!
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unfaithful-long-rambly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0e50fa09-4446-4adc-9c65-390c97d41e2fPost:b9ef4f95-6843-4871-b8fe-8067cfbda04e">Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I was unfaithful. (long and rambly) : Well, I love the Snape/Hermione 'ship (not that I read HPFF every day or anythang) but now you're promising phoenix feather? Where am I supposed to get that?!?
    Posted by sunbird627[/QUOTE]

    <div>You're amazing.  I have faith in you to find it.</div>
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