Mom Woes...

coastiegrl25

I need to vent ladies, I'm going to try and keep it as short as possible. My Mom and I have always been really close. It was only her and I until I was 13 when she met my SD.  A couple of years ago I joined the CG and moved to NJ. September 12th she tells me that she has left him. After all these lies that she told me and the rest of the family it comes out that she has been cheating on him and leaving him for this other guy.

I am just trying to really hold onto the fact that she is my Mother to keep our relationship. She has just told me so many lies, and has only tried to see my twice since I've been back down here. I came down a week after I found out about all this to help comfort my family during all this.  The times we have spent together the conversation is so forced as I try not to bring up what she has done. I feel so hurt by all this because I know things will never be the same. She is now just my Mother and lost the title of her being my best friend.

Thanks for listening Ladies..I just had to get it off my chest.

bethsmiles

I'm sorry to hear that. My mom and I were never very close so I can't say I know what you're going through. But my advice would be to just know that everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect. I think the best think you could do is talk to your mom about all of this and then try to forgive her.

PaigeMcC

I'm sorry to hear about this, hunny.  Some people disapoint us.  It's a sad fact about growing up that our parents (or friends, or other family members) aren't always the people we thought they were growing up.  It's really hard.  My heart goes out to you.  When you're ready you should sit down and talk with her.  Let her know how hurt you are.  Hopefully, in time, you  can fix your relationship.  My thoughts are with you.

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.  My FI went through a similar situation with his mom - his parents divorced when he was 11 - both of his parents were married 3 times (his dad is still on #3 and his mom passed away several years ago).  They had a very strained relationship during his teen years, but they were able to finally move past all of the hurt and were pretty close when she passed away.  Hang in there.

coastiegrl25

Thank you Ladies, I knew ya'll would come to the rescue. I know it's going to take some time but I wish she would show more effort now while im in AR, before I go back up to NJ in November. Phone calls are all we're gonna have by then and I just hope that will be enough.

brilibby4

Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel.  When I was a sophomore in college I found out my mother (who had always been my best friend) had been having multiple affairs for years.  She tore my family apart and my then 13-year-old brother will never be the same.  My parents divorced and watching the hurt she caused my father is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  My mother and I lost our closeness for a long time, and to be honest we still don't exactly have it back.  I went through spells of being very angry and mean to her, to ignoring her completely, to feeling bad for her, etc.  It came to the point where I finally decided that despite the fact that I disagreed with her decisions and life choices, she was still my mother.  I honestly don't think our relationship will ever be the same, but it certainly got better over time.  I'm so sorry you are going through this and my best advice is to use the situation to bond with other family members.  For example, my father, brother, and I gained a close bond by sticking together through my mother's affairs and the divorce.  Your feelings are normal and will probably change many times, but in the end I bet your mother/daughter relationship will grow back to (somewhat)normal again.  Hang in there!