still waiting.....

cara1981

Well Ive been in a relationship w/ a great guy for the past 2 1/2 years and still no sign of a ring I know he loves me but I wonder will he ask me to marry him. He is very analytical about everything and says marraige is a huge step and wants to "make sure" that he's making the right decision......do i just keep on in this relationship blindly or how to i find out if Im wasting my time or not??? I love him dearly but Im to a point in my life where i want to know Im 28 and if he wants kids its now or never ya know. Am I being to harsh or what? Please help me ladies.......cuz I know for sure this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life w/ I just wish I knew he felt the same he doesnt really talk about it.

mmlebla

I actually don't think 2 1/2 years is all that long a time to be figuring out whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone (BIG committment!!), especially if he is super analytical and wants to make 100% sure that he's making the right decision. That being said, I don't think you should keep on the relationship blindly.  I feel like the best way for him to figure out whether it's the right decision for him is to talk to you about his concerns, what his plans are etc.  to see whether you are on the same page about everything-- especially about the having kids part, and schedule for doing so!Also, at 28, you still have plenty of time to have kids.  I wouldn't let that pressure get in the way of your relationship with him.  If you're happy being with him, I say give him the time to figure things out for himself.

Button5807

I think the fact that you and you bf can't have an open conversation about marriage speaks volumes about how not ready he is. If getting married is more important to you than staying with him you might want to have a discussion about your priorities. If he's not open to that you might want to reconsider the relationship.

oceana919

I think the fact that you and you bf can't have an open conversation about marriage speaks volumes about how not ready he is. If getting married is more important to you than staying with him you might want to have a discussion about your priorities. If he's not open to that you might want to reconsider the relationship.I second that.

noelle24

Ditto Button. I'm not concerned about the fact that you've been dating 2.5 years.  That's not THAT long.  Nor am I concerned about you being 28 and wanting kids. You still have plenty of time for that. What I AM concerned about is the fact that you can't talk to your BF about your concerns, and instead have to ask strangers on the internet.  It speaks volumes about how ready (or not) you BOTH are for marriage. My advice? Talk to him and tell him your concerns. Ask him where he sees things going, and what his timeline for things are.  Decide for yourself how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without it moving forward, and then STICK to it.

twinkie757

2 & 1/2 years isn't that long, so don't push him. If you truly love him and want him forever, then how are you wasting time?

tpaigejr

I'm always a big fan when my gf comes to me with stuff like this. It sounds to me like you have brought it up and he says he wants to be sure. I'd definitely say it's worth waiting for, as longas you both have a realistic time frame. It should be really clear to both of you what you want from your future. Does he eventually want to get married? If so, and you can stand to wait, do it.

lizziemoopsc

I agree with pp- don't focus on the time you've been together, look at the current state of your relationship. Be open with communication- even if you guys don't talk about a date (or year), talk about the reservations he has. Like pp said, is it more important to you to be married or be with him? I'm not saying you should pick one or the other, but really be honest with yourself and then go from there. And if what you really want is  to be with him, it'll happen in it's own time.

cara1981

Well another thing that bothers me and he knows is that he wont move in w/ me before we get married........and he still lives w/ his parents.  (he does have a job though)

smiling_tiger04

I agree with pps, you haven't been together that long. I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk about where you both see your relationship going, i.e. marriage. Hopefully you can agree on a general timeline of things. If not, then you need to decide what you want to do. HTH

Future Mrs. Pericas

2 1/2 years really isn't long to not be engaged yet!  My FI asked me after dating about 3 1/2 yrs.  I understand being 28 & wanting kids...etc.  But really wouldn't you be fine as long as you have a kid or two by 35?  You have plenty of time, no need to rush.  I would however want to be able to talk about it with the bf.  I'd bring it up if I were you, but not in a pushy "where the heck is my ring?!" sort of way.  I'd just want to know where he sees the relationship going, if he sees you as "the one," and if he can see himself marrying you in the semi-near future.