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Let's all talk about money some more!


Re: Let's all talk about money some more!

  • edited December 2011
    I guess this is something I ponder a lot too, because I have always just assumed I would get married, however BF is not keen on marriage - to anyone, ever. I would rather be with him, than be married to someone else. We are completely committed to one another. A ring is not going to change that. The way we feel about our relationship, and who we are as people, will not change if we get married. I feel like my family would be more accepting of our relationship if we got married, as would society in general, because there is still this stupid stigma about having children out of wedlock. Also, he would be covered under my (hypothetical) work medical plan. I guess the main thing for me is that I want to be Mr. & Mrs. Kind of like what Jeana said. Make it officially official. However, I can live without all of these things. We can be common law where we live, so it's almost the same.
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Jeana, that Mr and Mrs are better than bf/gf. Plus, it seems more committed and I will never live with someone I'm not married to nor have children with them. Not that I plan on kids anytime soon, but maybe in a few years.  
  • Mrs.MasieMrs.Masie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with Jeana. It means more to me to be his wife than just his gf. I also would never want to have kids before marriage, only in a committed relatioship, same thing with living together. I will not live with someone until we're married (both of us feel strongly about these two issues). However, i don't judge those who make these choices.Plus marriage is viewed so much more highly (especially in our culture) that it would bring great respect to us and our families. But overall, what it boils down to is that i love this man and want to spend my life with him, building a family and a life together in a committed relationship. It's the commitment aspect more than anything. Of course, not even marriage is set in stone, but it's so much more of a statement, to one another, that i am joining my life to yours. But OP, it has to be a personal choice, not influenced by anyone, not even your S/O. Granted, it may mean alot to him, but making such a commitment can not be pressured upon someone. Your views on marriage may change-and if they do, then you can take that next step. But if they don't, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Rather, be proud that you are making the right decision for you.
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  • edited December 2011
    What will change?  Everything and nothing.  For us, it is the formal decision to spend forever together.  A commitment that we make to each other, before our families and God.  Our day to day lives won't change much.  We plan on adding children into the equation, so that will be the biggest change.    I get little goosebumps every time he calls me 'the future Mrs.'  I cannot wait for him to be my husband and me his wife.   
  • edited December 2011
    I think this was stated already but I can't reiterate enough that when you are married, that gives your spouse the rights to make end of life decisions in case something happens to you (think Terry Shivo back in 2004ish). So 1) don't marry someone you wouldn't trust to make the right decision and 2) make sure you have conversations/legal documents created so that if your spouse has to make that kind of decision someday he/she will know what you would have wanted. Dismal, I know, but I just had this conversation with my parents regarding friends of theirs who have been together decades but aren't married. It would be terrible if something bad happened to one and the other had no say in the kind of care and treatment they get!
  • edited December 2011
    Just to piggyback on SkiChicka: Whether you're married or not you should look into having a living will for instances such as she described with Terry Shivo. It's just a good idea. You can do some research online to see how it's done in your state, but chances are you are going to have to consult an attorney. I would think it's money well spent. ::off legal soapbox::
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