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Deal Makers/Breakers

Wondering for a poll: What were the deal makers that made you say "Yup, he's The One?" I realize some of them are pretty universal (kids vs no kids) but there's also some of the more personal ones that sort of crop up as the relationship moves on (In my case, whether or not to have pets, an on going,er discussion.)
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Re: Deal Makers/Breakers

  • edited December 2011
    This is a funny question, because I was just talking about this with someone. :) These are the things that just solidified it for me... 1. Does not want vagina gnomes (aka kids). 2. Would like a puppy. 3. Is as pro-choice as I am. 4. Same political views that are, as I like to say, 'so liberal that I make CNN look like Fox News..' ;) 5. Same style of decor (this is weirdly important I've discovered...lol).
  • pinkpinotpinkpinot member
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    edited December 2011
    The biggest deal maker is the fact that he entertains me and makes me laugh hysterically all the time.  I have such a good time hanging out with him and only him.  I've never had that before, I always dated guys that were so boring to me and I needed friends & people around to have a good time.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry.  I died at 'vagina gnomes' and forgot my answer.
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  • mermadisonmermadison member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He must not cry. That was about it in the deal breakers. I can't tell you how many guys ascribe to the "sensitive, caring" nonsense and it makes me want to puke.
  • edited December 2011
    my parents hated my ex-husband. it made life horrible for years. new deal breaker: must get along with parents. Here's one my mom and I always joked about:I'm at the end of the alphabet in last names, so mom always told me to marry up so I could stand at front of lines and get the good stuff. Turn that alphabetical order crap into something useful. (My bf's last name begins with an"A", so I tell him thats why I'm dating him. lol)
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
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    edited December 2011
    Having the same views. It seems as though other guys I dated and I were on very different paths for points of view. Like raising children, peoples rights, finances, etc. It was nice to be with someone who shares my viewpoint because that wasn't the case for a while. That and he is very much a mix of my dad and brother...  
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  • edited December 2011
    For me it's someone who has a good sense of humor. I'm a very upbeat girl and needed that someone that would make me laugh and just bring so much more fun to life.-Someone who is good with money-Someone who I can trust, someone who doesn't lie-no kids. I want to be able to share that experience for   the first time with my future husbandBONUS-someone who works in the same field as me and will understand my shift work.Those are the main things based on passed experiences.
  • ichokeonpopichokeonpop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    For me, it's pretty basic things like: 1. Must respect me as a woman and a partner. I am a die-hard feminist, and I need someone who doesn't expect me to stay at home and raise babies. Someone who is willing to stand in front of city hall and picket all day. 2. He must respect my career. I'm not getting a master's degree to make babies. 3. He must try his hardest to get along with my crazy family. AND 4. He must like (or love) cats. I found someone who can tolerate all of those deal-makers, and it's the greatest gift ever.
  • edited December 2011
    NQB- I'm sorry that I made you die with my answer....and I hope it was 'die laughing' and not some sort of rage. lol It's funny because I really love kids, just don't want any of my own, and that phrase was borne out of some random conversation at 2am. It just stuck. :) But most people when they hear/read it, just assume that I hate kids unless they know my twisted sense of humor. ;) JS
  • edited December 2011
    For me, dealbreakers always were if he:a) Didn't believe in marriage.b) Didn't want kids eventually.c) Lying/cheating/etc.d) Was disrespectful to my or his families.e) Couldn't be supportive of the kind of life I want to live (being a scientist, working in the field, traveling, constant learning, being physically active)Thankfully, BF meets all the criteria (wants marriage and kids, adores his and my families, has no patience for lying or cheating, and not only supports my lifestyle, but lives a similar one himself).Another major dealmaker with the BF was how incredibly patient/supportive he was concerning health issues. Early on in our relationship, I had been sick for about five months and was in the process of trying to figure out what was wrong...15 months later and he's been by my side through surgery and more medical tests, medications, procedures, and doctors appointments than I can count. Once we got a formal diagnosis, he took it upon himself to read up on it and find out what he could do to help me, from exercises/workouts he could help me do to ease some the pain I have to dietary changes that could possibly help. He literally took the "in sickness and health" part of our future vows and has been running with them since nearly day one. :)

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  • edited December 2011
    I am getting a masters degree to support babies.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am getting a masters degree to support babies.What now?  Like you are getting your Master's Degree so you can get a job that will help you support your family?  Or your Master's Degree is related to childcare?  I'm confuzzled.
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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  • edited December 2011
    I am getting a masters degree to support babies.Hahaha, yeah, that's what I figure my Ph.D. is for. Either that, or supporting a very expensive scuba diving habit.

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  • edited December 2011
    Must want kids, but not like a dozen of them or anything.Must believe in using birth control (I decided this the moment I found out FI was Catholic... then I asked him and he said "Uhh, yeah, and condoms, too!")Must respect my belongings and my space... or face certain destruction.Must absolutely love animals. Doesn't have to be vegetarian, but must truly love and respect animals of all kinds.Must let me live my life, go to college, be successful at whatever I want to do, and emotionally support me in all my activities. I cannot sit still, do nothing, be a couch potato or a housewife with no other life.Must agree that me staying home to raise future kids is a great idea, and worth the financial sacrifice.Must be polite. I really hate it when guys are just rude and obnoxious to people.Obviously, FI meets all of the above. He's the nicest guy ever, wants a couple of kids and would love for me to stay home to raise them, supports all my antics (vegetarian, volunteering, going back to college at 25, dying my hair fire-engine red), and he knows not to mess with me when I want to be alone.I have a great guy, and I'm amazed I found him considering how picky I sound here.
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