If I didn't love you so much...

Button5807

I'm in a cranky yet playful mood so let's play a game of finish the sentence.Oh BF, If I didn't love you so much... I would have rung your neck at the wedding this weekend as you pointed out the six million things you want to do differently at your wedding. (Any time I mention someone elses wedding apparently that counts as pressure)Oh Mother, If I didn't love you so much...you'd be dead by now for calling me at 6:30 this morning to ask me about socks.

zaneopal

I feel you on the mother thing...For my mother:If I didn't love you so much, I would seriously flip out at you for every time you send me a seemingly urgent message telling me to call you right away...and it's something unimportant like "do you need dryer sheets?"Every time she sends me these messages, I'm convinced something terrible has happened (grandparent died, sister in hospital, etc)...

zaneopal

And adding on to that, as one of my roommates just got home:If I didn't love you so much, I would have destroyed every Twilight-related thing in this apartment. (Not a fan of the books, and really tired of hearing about the movies 24/7)

pinkpinot

FI...you are very lucky I love you otherwise I'd start a giant bonfire and burn all the piles of mail, garbage, tissues, socks, shoes and doodads you leave all over.   I've asked you every weekend for the past 5 weeks to get rid of this stuff.  I'd like to do it for you and I'd like it to involve a lighter and gasoline.

PaigeMcC

I agree with pinkpinot!Dearest BF if I didn't love you so much...I would take all the crap you leave all over my newly cleaned house and throw it in the trash.  Then I would tape record myself (as you have suggested ) and hand it to you when you walk in the house.  This recording would say  "DAN DONT DROP THAT ON MY FLOOR! Put it where it belongs, dear."

Creyo

Oh bf, if I didn't love you so much I would destroy every piece of airplane/car/automotive object related thing in our house. I have my limit on how much I can hear about such things in  a day! Oh mother, if I didn't love you so much I'd ban all children in a 50 foot radius from being around you so that you would stop asking me where your grandchildren are (i'm not even engaged. i think she has given up and skipped that dream!)

stressfreeBride2be

Yeah, can I just copy Creyo's mother line and post it for my FMIL???  LOL

oceana919

Oh BF, if I didn't love you so much...I would cut the line to your DirectTV every Sunday so I could actually do something with you on my day off other than watching 8 football games that I don't care diddlysquat about, all while missing the one game I actually give a sh*t about. Oh future career in marine biology, if I didn't love you so much...I would quit this freaking Ph.D. program. I've been walking around like a zombie on the verge of a panic attack for an entire month now and I still have six weeks to go before I even get five minutes to just relax and breathe.

AnneAndJJ

Dear SDS program: If I didn't love the idea of being a social worker so much, I would have left you a long time ago. You're stressing me out! Dear house: If I didn't love you so much, because you're nice, and yellow, and spacious, and cute, I'd have decided to move out. Roommates are driving me batty! Dear BF: If I didn't love you so much, I'd have kicked you in the crotch after you bought those stupid tires and rims.

emmyroo

Dear BF,If I didn't love you so much, I would hang up on you every time you call me or I call you and you're playing your stupid video game!  I want to talk to you, but you're barely paying attention to me!  When I call, you should PAUSE and have a decent conversation with me.  Then, after I go to bed, you can play all you want.Love,EmmyRoo

AnneAndJJ

Ooh Emmyroo, I feel your pain. It's soo annoying! BF does this with TV too.

Malakia02

Oh dearest Doggie...if I did not love you so much I would dump you in a vat of Nair Hair Removal so you would stop shedding. Oh dearest BF.... if I did not love you so much I would trash all of those marching band t-shirts from 1998 you own.Oh dearest Little Brother... if I did not love you so much I would tell your flavor of the week that you are a man whore.

Button5807

Malakia - BF used to have a big collection of t-shirts that drove me nuts, 2 years ago I convinced him to bag them up and get rid of them. I hid the bag at my mothers house and this year for Christmas (b/c I am the biggest procrastinator) he's getting a quilt made from those t-shirts that he still complains about missing. :-)

Malakia02

I am glad I am not the only one dealing with old t-shirts.  Matt has had these since the mid-90's when he weighed 80 lbs and liked wearing neon. He threw a hissy fit that I was trying to throw away his childhood...I threw a bigger hissy fit so now they are stored in space saver bags in the closet.

bekalinz

oh dearest bf, if i didn't love you so much, i would have left you a long ime ago after hearing about how this guy or that guy was the next starter for nc state basketball.  i don't care how fast he can make it from one side of the court to the other nor do i feel like spending my thursday afternoon watching him play high school basketball hoping he will commit to your beloved college team... in regards to football...keep in mind i love you dearly...but i do not care to watch another football game for the rest of my life!  and please do not let a loss affect your mood for the rest of the day...i am sorry that your team sucks...but that is not my problem!

ekathleen684

Oh bachelors degree, if I didn't love the thought of having you so much, I would quit trying to chase you and just be happy with my associates. The thought of adding another semester on to my anticipated graduation date just pisses me off. Oh, BF, if I didn't love you so much and would have heard my phone , I would have killed you for drunk dialing me at 4am on a day when I wake up at 5:30 just to tell me how much you love me. I know, and I love you too, but I think that it could have waited until 5:30

oceana919

Dear future children, if I didn't love you so much, I would have ripped my own uterus out about six months ago. You better appreciate all the hell I'm going through just to make sure I can have you someday. Just remember that the very first time I ground you.

ericswifey

Oceana, maybe its the hormones talking but your response almost made me cry. how sweet Dear future, if I didn't love you so much I would quit school, grow some dreds and run away to Europe and become a ski (snowboard) bum.Dear boyfriend, if I didn't love you so much I would quit doing your laundry, quit cooking for you, and cut off your bank account for a week as an experiment to see how you would fend.Dear mother, if I didn't love you so much I would spare myself the emotional distress and just try to forget you exist.

blueboxblues

Oh credit score, if I didn't love you so much, I'd stop paying my tuition bills regularly and save that money for a damn house!BF, if I didn't love you so much, I'd raid your dresser and closet and throw out all the clothes you keep as "hanging around the apartment" clothes, because YOU DON'T WEAR THEM AROUND THE APARTMENT.  EVER.  Also, you've lost 40 pounds, so there is just no point to keeping everything.  Oh, and socks with holes?  Definitely defeats the purpose of having socks, really.  (In hindsight, I should probably just raid the dresser and closet anyway, haha.)

oceana919

Dear paycheck, if I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't be sitting at my desk right now wearing legwarmers and a one-shouldered hot pink t-shirt just so my office can win the university costume contest. If I hear one more Duran Duran reference, I will throw a stapler at someone's head.