OH NO! plan has a bump....what do you guys think?

Styrofoam02

I posted my plan a few weeks ago...for those of you who don't know, i'll give you the short version....She's gonna go on a scavenger hunt (she thinks its for her birthday) to all the places we have significant meaning... and then end up at a surprise birthday party at her sorority house with all her sisters and my fraternity brothers where I will pop the question before going to dinner with everyone...(it was gonna be a surprise to everyone...)That was then......As with all surprise parties it takes help to plan... and this is less than a month away now... so i wanted to plan that part of it...  So here's the bump:Her sorority sister (who is NOT in on the proposal) told me that it would be more practical for everyone to meet at the place where we're gonna eat (old chicago), and that she should meet me somewhere else and i'll just take her there...  But I don't want to propose at Old Chicago! Old Chicago isn't a spectacular or a particularly romantic place, it has no meaning to us in particular... Her friend said more people were probably willing to come if we all just met at the restaurant at say 7, instead of meeting at the house at 6:30 then leaving to go over there at 7... Which makes sense really... but it ruins my plan.As I see it, I have a few options...1)  Propose 1 on 1, not in front of her sorority sisters.2)  Propose at Old Chicago3) Stay steadfast with meeting at the house, and if some people don't come...so be it.4) Let Lindsay in on the secret (not optimal) and have her on my side with staying steadfast in meeting at the house.What do y'all think? I've never really been much of a planning type.  I ALWAYS just roll w/ the punches and go with the flow.  But when I decided to propose to Tiffanee, I went into SUPER ANAL-PLANNING guy.  I really wanted to surprise EVERYONE, but its looking less and less likely that's going to happen..

jeanacorina

My FI proposed in our living room with just us and the cats, and it was still the happiest, most perfect moment ever.You need to pick your battles here. Every detail doesn't matter so much as you expressing your feelings to her. I think proposing at the restaurant is fine, it may not mean anything now, but it will after, won't it? ;)You'd have the perfect anniversary restaurant for years to come. You don't have to fall back on memories. You should feel free to create new ones all their own, too.

kailss

i agree with jeana. you dont always need to make it over the top and spectacular. as long as you tell her how you feel and ask her to spend the rest of her life with you, it shouldn't matter if it's in front of 50 greeks[whether in the sorority house or the restuarant] or just the two of you [wherever that may be]. i'm sure she'll think it's absolutely perfect no matter what. make some wonderful, new memories!

Goldlie11

Jeana,my cat was there to witness my proposal too

notquiteblushing

If I remember correctly your scavenger hunt was going to end at a place where your fiance met up with a bunch of her friends and you were there and you propose, right?  If that's the plan then yes do it at Old Chicago.  A friend of mine got engaged in a similar way (surprise b-day party) and her friends were really excited to be a part of it.  Good luck and don't stress, I'm sure it will be awesome no matter what!

cupcake_rampage

I would say that I think it depends on whether it's more important to you (and her) to propose at a place that is meaningful or in front of her friends.Just to give you my own personal take, I would not have enjoyed it if my fiance had proposed to me in front of a crowd.  BUT, we are pretty private people when it comes to certain kinds of gooey emotional stuff and both of us sort of felt like a marriage proposal is something that ought to be done alone.  If you think she's game for it, though, then like I said, decide which you think will be better for you two, and go with it.Oh, and one more thing.  If you do decide to propose at Old Chicago, romantic or not, every time you go back to eat there, it will sort of remind you of when you got engaged, and that's nice to be able to do.

SassyBrass

The place where you ask the question isn't what's important. It's her answer.My FI proposed to me in our hotel room after dinner. It was a place neither of us had eaten at, it was at a hotel neither of us had stayed at. He just didn't want to do it over dinner. I don't know if we'll ever stay at that hotel again, and it's fine. It was the proposal that mattered. He asked me to marry him. It could have been in front of my car in a parking lot. It would still have been great. All I'm saying is, you have a little bit of time still. If people aren't down to go from one place to the next, I suggest doing something with just the two of you, simple and alone. Then go celebrate with your friends at Old Chicago. It will still be an unforgettable night.

Button5807

I'm not going to tell you to change your big plan because it's obviously how you want to do it.Is she the type of girl who would be ok with being proposed to in front of a bunch of people? Personally I would hate it. Maybe keep the plan as is, except let everyone meet at the restaurant so you can pop the question and share a few minutes alone with her before you surprise her again with a party and she can surprise all of her friends with her brand new engagement.

Styrofoam02

Thanks everyone.  I have some time to think about it.  Either i will propose alone or at old chicago and go with the flow with whatever is best at that time.

oceana919

I vote proposing at the restaurant...I imagine her sisters will get all sorts of shits and giggles out of the fact that they got to see the proposal, not to mention it's the perfect chance to toast your engagement with friends. If you think your gf won't mind a public proposal, then I would say the restaurant is the way to go Best of luck!

tigger9922

I think you can get a more honest reaction in a one on one setting, but that's just my opinion.  It won't matter where you are, the words you say to each other and how you felt is what you will remember most.  My husband proposed in our apt on a Saturday night....and I loved it....we had the night to ourselves to celebrate and then had a blast going around the next couple of days and telling our family and close friends in person.

Acrosthec

I agree with pp's; it's not the place, it's the question.  My FI proposed to me on a random Wednesday night in our bedroom right before we went to bed.  It was perfectly us; laid-back and completely casual.If your GF is a private person, have a private proposal with just the two of you, then meet at the restaurant to surprise everyone and announce it.If your GF wants a public proposal (which I think she must as this was your original plan), I'd say do it at the restaurant.  You can go back there as long as it's open to celebrate your engagement date, and your friends will get to enjoy the surprise as well.  Experience has taught me, especially with girls, that if you let one in on the surprise, everyone will know within 2 hours.  I'd just keep it to myself and do it at the restaurant if you want everyone to be there for it, and not fight her on having it at the house in front of everyone by letting her in on the secret.

desertsun

I have a secret suspicion you are not a man. Because you write like a girl. No man I know would call himself "SUPER ANAL-PLANNING guy." I can't get past how weird I find this to respond.

Ana_2985

I have a secret suspicion you are not a man. Because you write like a girl. No man I know would call himself "SUPER ANAL-PLANNING guy." I can't get past how weird I find this to respond.Yeah the only time I've heard a man say "Super" is at McDonalds.

desertsun

Yes, thank you, Ana!Also, I don't know any straight guys that would refer to themselves as "anal."  Or use anal in a sentence that wasn't sexual in nature. Organized or OCD, yes. But not anal.

Ana_2985

I was just thinking the same thing! Straight men typically do not make anal references in public.

Styrofoam02

I certainly AM a man, and I graduated with a degree in English.  Its quite sexist of you to believe that a man couldn't say "anal" without it being sexual in nature.  Considering my choice of words got across the meaning I wanted it to get across, I think I chose the right word, seeing as how I am not OCD, nor am I organized. I'm sorry if my choice of words make me sound like a woman, (or a gay man as someone else decided to imply)you're entitled to your own opinion I suppose.As it stands, Yes, Tiffanee did say that she would like a public proposal.  She even said that at an Oklahoma City Thunder basketball game would be okay. (not that I would do that though)  So, I have decided not to push the meeting at the sorority house and to just propose at Old Chicago.  Y'all made good arguements for it, telling me that we can make Old Chicago something significant in our relationship even if its not already significant.Thanks again to everyone (except the ones who still think I'm a woman)

desertsun

Sorry, Styro. I fully realize I was being offensive. But you're the only man I've ever seen use ellipses and call himself a super anal guy. It's just weird and funny to me. But I'm sure you're very comfortable in your masculinity and your English major skills, and nothing I can say will change that. So, I will continue to find your writing a little fem, but any person who wants to live on the Enterprise and knows their Yoda trivia is cool with me. Good luck with your proposal!

Styrofoam02

appology accepted

Hylmarey

I think you should go ahead with your plans and don't worry if they don't come exactly as you wanted, it will be perfect for her anyway. And, about "anal", I think a man that is NOT able to use it in a word or sentence is not sure about his sexuality, he would not say it cause he wants to show, no matter what, that he is a real man, he needs others to make him feel like a man because he can't feel that just by his personal conviction.

my2geldings

That is so exciting to read about all the planning you're doing. Are you planning on letting someone in on this to get some pictures or video of it? Sounds like quite the event. Looking forwards to hearing all the details about it once it's done. Make sure to keep us posted, good luck!

Styrofoam02

actually, most of my fraternity brothers who will be there will be in on it.  Also, since it is under the guise of a surprise party for her, I think it might make sense to simply ask people to bring cameras and/or video camera stuff to get the moment on tape.  Little would they know the surprise was ALSO on them... but then they'd have the cameras ready to get video/pictures.ALSO, Tiffanee will have a disposable camera with her, for the purpose of getting a picture with all the people with whom she interacted that day... I will have already taken pictures with them earlier in the day.  She loves to scrap book, and I think doing those pictures would make the perfect scrap book.