Ohhh Karma...

loves2shop4shoes

So I'm sure you all remember a few weeks ago, when I was dealing with that law school drama.  I had that girlfriend, let's call her Amber, who I thought I was REALLY good friends with and, out of nowhere, she started going to parties without me and without inviting me and LYING to me about what she was doing. After that she basically told me that since she thought she could be more popular in the section if she wasn't friends with me, she no longer wanted to be my friend.

Well after a few weeks of being depressed and feeling really shiity about it, I feel much better. I've gotten to know other nice people in the section and have realized that she's just a shiity person and a social climber.

Well, Amber was seeing this guy in our section for a few months. He treated her like garbage, but she really liked him. I found out a week or so ago that this guy was cheating on her with another girl in our section, but it wasn't my business, so I didn't tell Amber and kept out of it. Well today I was in class, on FB chat, asking the "other woman" about a contracts issue. Amber sits next to me and habitually reads all of my FB conversations. She saw me talking to "the other woman" and IMed me saying, "If you still care about me at all, you won't talk to the other woman. Her new guy is my old guy." I was dumbfounded.

After all this girl put me through, she STILL had the audacity to try to tell me not to talk to a classmate out of respect for her...

HAHAHAHAHA! Karma is such a bitch!

MLekathLEEN

I'm sorry, but are you in law school or middle school science class? This sounds like something I read in Seventeen magazine circa 1999. Who (outside of 7th grade) says they don't want to be friends anymore because you're not cool enough!?! I'd invite the "other woman" out for coffee. If Amber says anything just say "Sorry but <other girl> thinks I'm cool enough to hang out with."

That girl sounds like a class act.

bakes218

I think this is very immature and making fun of someone (whether they are a nice person or not) who is going through something like that doesn't make you the greatest "friend" either.

As people have said before, why don't you just stay out of this?

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:7c976b7e-a97e-4d43-a7ee-8c0a13822ab1">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but are you in law school or middle school science class? This sounds like something I read in Seventeen magazine circa 1999. Who (outside of 7th grade) says they don't want to be friends anymore because you're not cool enough!?! I'd invite the "other woman" out for coffee. If Amber says anything just say "Sorry but <other girl /> thinks I'm cool enough to hang out with." That girl sounds like a class act.
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]
Ditto to all of this. People are so immature, even in graduate school. . . we're adults for goodness sake, try to have a little class. 

loves2shop4shoes

Bakes, we're no longer friends.  I did stay COMPLETELY out of it.  She saw me talking to the other woman about CLASS and tried to tell me who I could and could not talk to...out of respect for her.  

That's hilarious!

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:4fa9f527-0b9f-4f82-8502-46ee9e3f5e23">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]Bakes, we're no longer friends.  I did stay COMPLETELY out of it.  She saw me talking to the other woman about CLASS and tried to tell me who I could and could not talk to...out of respect for her.   That's hilarious!
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's beyond ridiculous.  Even if you were still friends with her, sometimes you have to work with (or have questions for) people you may not want to in class.  She needs to grow up, not only in this situation, but the whole 'you're not cool enough' thing (seriously?  law school shouldn't be a lunchroom popularity contest).  I'd just ignore her, talk to whoever you need to in order to help yourself succeed in school because you are right, karma really does have a way at getting back at people

PaigeMcC

*facepalm*

whereyat

After law school is over and you are in the "real" professional lawyer world, people are going to feel stupid/embarrassed over acting immaturely.....especially as you'll have to now deal with these people on a professional level.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:0d9771c3-0a83-4b7a-8a74-254cccf83dc6">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]After law school is over and you are in the "real" professional lawyer world, people are going to feel stupid/embarrassed over acting immaturely.....especially as you'll have to now deal with these people on a professional level.
Posted by whereyat[/QUOTE]

Nope, those are the ones who become crappy lawyers.

oceana919

Frankly, I think it's shady that she is having the audacity to tell you who you can and can't talk to, but it's nearly as shady to be gloating over her misfortune. IMO

GreenPepperBurger

LoLzZz

bakes218

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:561809dd-3c9c-4b5e-9c81-626dd21bbfbb">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]Frankly, I think it's shady that she is having the audacity to tell you who you can and can't talk to, <strong>but it's nearly as shady to be gloating over her misfortune.</strong> IMO
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:561809dd-3c9c-4b5e-9c81-626dd21bbfbb">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]Frankly, I think it's shady that she is having the audacity to tell you who you can and can't talk to, but it's nearly as shady to be gloating over her misfortune. IMO
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

<div>Forgive me for being "shady"...but I think it's hilarious that this girl would have the audacity to expect me to care about her feelings, when in reality the only thing I owe her would constitute a battery.</div><div>
</div><div>She royally screwed me over, made me cry, ruined my Fall Ball, treated me like dog shiit for no reason for weeks, and told me my friendship wasn't as valuable to her as popularity.  As a direct result of her behavior, I ended up in a 3 week depression, which resulted in my falling behind in my outlining.  I even warned her that these new "friends" (the other woman was a friend) would screw her over.</div><div>
</div><div>After all that, I can't help but feel like she got what she deserved.</div>

bakes218

Other people can't determine what you feel, your thoughts, or your behaviors.

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ohhh-karma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:144ca68f-c199-4d38-9b19-03944dcd0f63Post:b49bb146-b5fc-412d-9ae5-d0e602a764e7">Re: Ohhh Karma...</a>:
[QUOTE]Other people can't determine what you feel, your thoughts, or your behaviors.
Posted by bakes218[/QUOTE]

<div>No, but other people's actions can cause you to feel hurt, upset, depressed.  And your feelings may lead to depression, which can manifest itself in physical ways (such as making you sleepy all the time).  </div>

marleylikeair

Shoes, please keep in mind that no one can ruin an event for you unless you let them. And you alone are responsible for your own attitude and schoolwork. Her schitty actions may have contributed to your mood and hurt you, but it's up to you to be the strong woman I know you are and to rise above these things with grace and dignity.

Bakes and Oceana do have a point; I think it's bad karma to revel in her misfortune, bad form, and a little mean. But I also completely understand the feeling you're having about this situation. This is someone who was so inconsiderate and cold to you. I think most people in your spot would have a moment of schadenfreude, and I don't fault you for voicing it briefly. You're allowed.

I still really like Cate's advice on a previous thread about friends--the vampire/buddy/sweatshirt friend analogy. Most people you hang with are going to be vampires or buddies, and you have to take things slowly and figure out who's who before you rely on them.

I know you didn't actually ask for any advice in your OP, so I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here. Hope you find the cool friends you deserve!

loves2shop4shoes

Marley, I like you.  Good advice.

marleylikeair

Aw, shucks! Glad I could help.