Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."

PaigeMcC

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/dont-dress-like-a-slut-alleged-safety-tip-from-toronto-police-officer/article1911737/

CN: Toronto policer officer offered the advice "Don't dress like a slut" during a conversation on safety at a local university. 

WHAT THE HELLLLL?!

AudgiePodge

Well, it is pretty good advice.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:2fff4251-1e28-42cc-8062-1a638edd64f4">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, it is pretty good advice.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

What if I want to dress slutty?

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:1c461ba9-e2f8-43a6-baa5-a8b7bcca6727">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut." : What if I want to dress slutty?
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

<div>Don't go outside.  EVAR.</div><div>
</div><div>You only leave home wearing sweats.  Duh.</div>

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:72fda1c6-015b-43bc-aaa5-68d5b5454155">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut." : Don't go outside.  EVAR. You only leave home wearing sweats.  Duh.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

Outside is a scurrrrry place.  I better stay in my kitchen.

[Deleted User]

This is great advice, in general...

[Deleted User]

Paige, it's okay for you to dress slutty!! but carry a bat!! :P

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:35cb9ff2-4673-4149-a615-8b0fc256cbbb">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut." : Outside is a scurrrrry place.  I<strong> better stay in my kitchen.</strong>
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]
barefoot and pregnant too

Ember01

I was attacked by 2 guys in a laundromat when I was in college. The officer told me it was my fault for doing my laundry at midnight. His exact words were "What else would you expect to happen if a young, single, pretty girl is doing her laundry at midnight?" Uhhhh, I expect the attendant on duty at the laundromat to do his job and not be sleeping in the backroom!

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:1950c05a-7fd7-4b68-b757-66933e4ac226">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut." : barefoot and pregnant too
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]


When theEX used to say this to me I wanted to hit him with a bat.  Carry some pepper spray. 

loves2shop4shoes

Wow.  Atta way to blame the victim.

oceana919

I hate the "you asked for it" mentality. Unless I walk up to a guy and say "Sir, will you please assault me?", I'm not asking for it, regardless of what I'm wearing, where I'm at, or what I'm doing.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:883edbb4-f43b-4b2b-8c24-0784990f217e">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]I was attacked by 2 guys in a laundromat when I was in college. The officer told me it was my fault for doing my laundry at midnight. His exact words were "What else would you expect to happen if a young, single, pretty girl is doing her laundry at midnight?" Uhhhh, I expect the attendant on duty at the laundromat to do his job and not be sleeping in the backroom!
Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

I'm really sorry this happened to you, hunny.  But please tell me you reported that cop to his supervisor.  Becuase I'd have been like WWHATTT?! It isn't the victim's fault.  You did not ask to be attacked.  You were living your life. 


Omg this makes me so angry

marleylikeair

Ember, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and just as sorry to hear that the cop was a dickweed about it.

The cop in this article who gave this "safety tip" was obviously out of line, but I actually don't have as much of a problem with a list of safety tips that includes not wearing clothing that's too revealing as I do with the word "slut."

It is nothing short of tragic that women are still being blamed (partially or not) for being somewhere they "shouldn't be," wearing something revealing, walking alone at night, etc. BUT, since there are twisted men out there who do pick up on these things and take advantage wherever they can, it IS helpful to know what things make you more vulnerable to an attack. The sad truth is, if you're wearing a shortshort skirt and five-inch heels and you're walking somewhere alone, it's likely you're going to attract some attention. If this information is presented in a respectful way, like "I hate to have to say this, but it is worth mentioning, even though it's not fair..." I think it's okay to include a word of warning.

As a very wise woman I know once told me, "bitch, slut, and whore are words that don't mean anything. They're just used to keep women down." The word "slut" has no meaning. If men are allowed to like sex and have as many partners as they want, it should be no different for women. "Slut" is just a pejorative term for a female which men use when they feel intimidated by a woman. That makes it all the more insulting.

JMO.

hetshup

Dude, a little nipplage shouldn't hurt anyone. I mean, I paid good money and everything.

We had a girl raped after a swim meet, it was "her fault" for wearing such a "skimpy outfit". Yeah... she was in a racing suit. My coach was VERY concerned about all the girls after that.

Ember- I'm pissed for you!

leia1979

Add me to the pissed list. I'm so sorry that happened, Ember.

While it's unfair, I do agree that part of being safe is not attracting attention. And it's not exactly practical to run away from someone in 5" heels. I'm big on not being out alone at night. Yes, you have to sometimes, but the more often you can avoid that situation, the better.

But like Oceana said, I doubt anyone has actually "asked for it."

Ember01

Yeah. It sucked. The guy kept putting his laundry in the washer and the dryer next to mine and I told the attendant, and she basically ignored me (the place was virtually empty, and that isn't proper laundry etiquette). When I got up to take 2 of my finished loads out to the car, while the 3rd and 4th were drying, the guys offered to help me out to the car. I told them to leave me alone. I went outside, and the one guy followed about 30 seconds later. He tried to push me down into my backseat and have his way. But, the cart was in the way, and I got a good shot inbetween the legs, so I kicked him hard. I went back inside and woke up the attendant and told him or her what happened. By that point, the guys took off running.

When the cops got there, they wrote up a report and told me that I was asking for it. I asked them to follow me back to my sorority house (I didn't know if the guys were watching and were going to follow me after the cops left). The cops got really nasty with me. I threatened to call their supervisor. They changed their tune and followed me home. I called the next day and complained. Nothing else ever happened.

SenoritaCupcake

Ember, I am so sorry hun. Cops suck.

My favorite was when the investigator left me in the interrogation room to "cry it out" so I would start telling her the truth. Then when they brought the guy in and he confessed her response was, "well you can see why we thought you were lying, right?"

Oh yeah, and they didn't do jack about it.

Jordyana

I was sexually abused as a kid. I have worked with young girls who have been sexually abused during their childhood. I have had people blame us for being abused.

Because, as we all know, a 6-year-old TOTALLY "wants it."

Yeah, the world is screwed up. I figure just keep your head held high and keep speaking out against sexual violence and the victim blaming. I have no tolerance for it or even jokes about the matter.

AudgiePodge

I'm sorry this has happened to some of you gals. This thread turned into a real downer.

Jordyana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:8f2ec18c-f236-490b-91ab-866da2ba5000">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry this has happened to some of you gals. This thread turned into a real downer.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

In other news, puppies and rainbows and leprechauns!

Hazel_B

Sadly, this doesn't really surprise me. I haven't always heard good things about TO police, so one of them having this view doesn't shock me.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_top-safety-tips-dont-dress-like-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:18588949-4e61-4621-8d8f-c24f942411dfPost:c1be98b7-4779-41a2-b1f0-64d710cced49">Re: Top safety tips: "Don't dress like a slut."</a>:
[QUOTE]I was sexually abused as a kid. I have worked with young girls who have been sexually abused during their childhood. I have had people blame us for being abused. Because, as we all know, a 6-year-old TOTALLY "wants it." Yeah, the world is screwed up. I figure just keep your head held high and keep speaking out against sexual violence and the victim blaming. I have no tolerance for it or even jokes about the matter.
Posted by Jordyana[/QUOTE]

Go you for speaking out and for working with kids to help them heal, Jordyana. That rocks. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I was sexually abused as a kid, too, also at a very young age, by a teenage "friend" of the family. It really messes you up. I'm so glad you've been out there helping young girls!