daddy's girl

magkitkat

Hey y'all! My boyfriend and I just looked at rings and I was wondering what would be a good way to know or make sure he asks my dad's permission or should that be like proposal 101 and I shouldn't have to give him that hint? Thx!

peekaboo2011

That should be part of your major discussion...

Tell him?

cu97tiger

If it's important to you that he ask, you should tell him. Don't expect that he'll just 'know.' I made it clear to my FI that it was important to me that he talk to my dad. I don't think he 'asked permission' but he talked to my dad about proposing.

thejucheidea

'Dearest, it is very important to me that you ask my Daddy's permission before you officially ask me to marry you.'

leia1979

As others have said, tell him. I told my H that the only person's permission he should ask is mine. We had an actual discussion a couple months before we got engaged.

audrewuh

Ditto others. I really don't find it to be a big deal, but BF thinks he should do it. It was one of the things that came up when we talked about getting married/engaged.

magkitkat

Thanks guys! I figured just telling him flat out would be best since guys sometimes miss hints.

magkitkat

My dad likes him so I'm almost positive he'll say yes, but I think if he happened to say no my BF probably wouldn't propose.

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_daddys-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b9951f7-cad3-4e81-b121-470fb6f6fa2fPost:fb45ad8e-c1e5-4c74-a54b-5cac18bb8e27">Re: daddy's girl</a>:
[QUOTE]'Dearest, it is very important to me that you ask my Daddy's permission before you officially ask me to marry you.'
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

This gets my vote.

NurseyK

Hey, thanks for not being BSC!

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_daddys-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1b9951f7-cad3-4e81-b121-470fb6f6fa2fPost:ea05a89e-4335-4f10-8b21-6f1c7c78eca6">Re: daddy's girl</a>:
[QUOTE]My dad likes him so I'm almost positive he'll say yes, but I think if he happened to say no my BF probably wouldn't propose.
Posted by magkitkat[/QUOTE]

So would you break up with him then if your dad didn't want you to marry him?

I promise I'm not trying to be snarky, I only ask because of a post I saw on another board where the parents said no, he proposed anyways, she said yes, and then her parents wanted her to break up with him because he 'disrespected them'.  Since then, I'm curious to what others would do in a similar situation.

But to answer your question, yes, you should just flat out discuss your wishes with him.  Guys aren't mind readers and the tradition is not as 'mandatory' as it used to be, so I wouldn't expect him to automatically know you'd like for him to do it.

audrewuh

Jem poses a great question for discussion between you and your BF as well. We also talked about what would happen if my dad said no (He didn't) just to make sure we'd be on the same page no matter what the outcome. 

bsidebella

How old are you? How old is BF? Do you live with him, with your parents, or on your own? Do either of you work/support yourselves, or go to school? Would your father approve of you getting married at this point in your life? I ask because when my FI was ready to propose to me, he intended to ask my mother for permission (my father passed away before we even started dating). I told him not to do it, his parents and his sister and his friends told him not to do it. But he insisted this was the right thing to do. Well, he asked my mom for permission to propose anyway. She laughed in his face and said no. She said no for the following reasons: -I was still living at home -I was still in college -She was paying for my education -I did not have a full-time job She liked FI, she didn't mind that we were dating, but she did not approve of us getting engaged because she felt we weren't ready. It would be another year before we got engaged. By that time, I had my degree and a full time job, and we were living together and supporting ourselves. He didn't ask anyone's permission that time. My mom still wasn't thrilled (and still isn't) but she had no control over me at that point. So please, consider every possibility before even getting engaged! On the other hand, I also see the "asking permission from the father" tradition as quite antiquated and unnecessary.

zipis1

I flat out told FI that him asking my dad would make me reconsider the relationship. I figured that at that point of our relationship I should feel pretty comfortable being straight forward about what's important to me or I wouldn't be mature enough to get married.