Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding.

CASK85

So FI and I are back from our vacation. It was great, saw lots of family and friends, celebrated our recent engagment with everyone. 

We made a pact not to plan anything while we were away. Of course the inevitable, "when is the wedding?" and "so where are you having it?" questions came up. We stayed noncommital about it for a few days, then started to realize (we ended up having mini talks between all the questions) we wanted to get married in late 2011 (Oct, Nov, or Dec) and probably in Chicago. 

But now were back and have to actually start thinking about it. Budget. Guest list. Date. Venue. I know these are the first things I need to do, but despite all my (asanine) pre-planning I'm scarred stiff. Holy crap, this is real life. 

I think I need a pep talk and/or some common sense (as in, "it isn't that hard") and other knottie love/humor. Pretty please?? 

xoxo

hetshup

If it's in October you can have all my planning stuff. DONE. 

Suck it up butter cup, and have some CAKE!

[Deleted User]

You can do it! You have plenty of time to do everything. Not that you should wait, but its not like you're planning on getting married next week. You have 9-11 months to plan.

GreenPepperBurger

If there's anything wedding shows have taught me, it's set the budget first, then secure the venue. Everything else will fall into place from there.

Good luck!

paintgirl

I vote you just steal Hetshup's wedding and keep it movin'.

There are some great lists on our board to keep you on track. I think Oceana had a rockin' list but it could have been someone else. I forget. But number of guests first, then take everything else in small bites.

desertsun

I planned my wedding in 7 months. 

I put off the florist and cake until about 2 months before the wedding.

It all turned out beautifully.

RELAX. You can do this!

As PPs said, start with your guest list and figure out a rough number of people. Also get a rough idea of your total budget. Look at the knot's budgeter. Look at other website's budgeters. 

Don't think, "Oh, I don't need $400 for flowers. I can totally DIY for $100." Actually research what things will cost, and decide what things are most important. 

My single best tip is to try to find a venue that is more inclusive without being more expensive. The fewer vendors you have to deal with, the easier your planning will be.

The most useful "planning" book I had was "The Bride's Book of Lists," which had long lists of questions to ask your vendors. Things I never would have thought of.

My favorite website for reading vendor reviews was weddingwire.com. I found my venue, photographer, cake, and flowers all through that site.

And remember, there are plenty of marrieds on NEY who've been through this. We're here for you.

Schrodinger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_holy-crap-iwe-plan-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:22c35e2b-33c9-4fed-84d2-b11bfaaaa4bdPost:0b3153bb-d652-4029-b38b-31d4df8bb2c1">Re: Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]I planned my wedding in 7 months.  I put off the florist and cake until about 2 months before the wedding. It all turned out beautifully. RELAX. You can do this! As PPs said, start with your guest list and figure out a rough number of people. Also get a rough idea of your total budget. Look at the knot's budgeter. Look at other website's budgeters.  Don't think, "Oh, I don't need $400 for flowers. I can totally DIY for $100." Actually research what things will cost, and decide what things are most important.  My single best tip is to try to find a venue that is more inclusive without being more expensive. The fewer vendors you have to deal with, the easier your planning will be. The most useful "planning" book I had was "The Bride's Book of Lists," which had long lists of questions to ask your vendors. Things I never would have thought of. My favorite website for reading vendor reviews was weddingwire.com. I found my venue, photographer, cake, and flowers all through that site. And remember, there are plenty of marrieds on NEY who've been through this. We're here for you. :)
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for the suggestions.  We just got engaged on the 22nd, and have a venue booked for July 9th.  I had my freakout moment on Friday!  I'll be checking Amazon for the book on Monday.

</div>

KD+BC

TK budgeter is alright but I preferred weddingwire.com for the budgeter and for its checklist.

Take it one thing at a time. You don't have to do it all at once. Figure out a budget and rough number of guests first. Then look at venues and only pick one that fits in your budget. The venue will give you available dates and you can pick one around that.

Then the other things can be done one by one. You will get it all done. Try not to stress about it yet. Stress should be saved for the last couple weeks.

zipis1

Wedding planner. Done

In all seriousness though, remember that wedding planning can only be as complicated as you allow it to be (barring IL drama and such :P). Just take it one day at a time, on thing at a time, and you'll be good. And definitely listen to what our dear old married hags on here have said :P

CASK85

Thanks for the great tips, ladies Hetshup, I might take you up on your offer. LOL

Also, Desert, I you.  

I know it will turn out great. Looking at it as a whole is the intimidating part, like a giant mountain to conquer, but taking it in small bits is the way to go.  I will try to keep the stress to a minimum. lol

And just FYI, I'm pretty sure Acro has the ultimate checklist in her bio, but others have borrowed it, I think. . . I might be getting my bios crossed. 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_holy-crap-iwe-plan-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:22c35e2b-33c9-4fed-84d2-b11bfaaaa4bdPost:cb808604-67b7-4178-8752-76529a860163">Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]So FI and I are back from our vacation. It was great, saw lots of family and friends, celebrated our recent engagment with everyone.  We made a pact not to plan anything while we were away. Of course the inevitable, "when is the wedding?" and "so where are you having it?" questions came up. We stayed noncommital about it for a few days, then started to realize (we ended up having mini talks between all the questions) we wanted to get married in late 2011 (Oct, Nov, or Dec) and probably in Chicago.  But now were back and have to actually start thinking about it. Budget. Guest list. Date. Venue. I know these are the first things I need to do, but despite all my (asanine) pre-planning I'm scarred stiff. <strong>Holy crap, this is real life</strong>.  I think I need a pep talk and/or some common sense (as in, "it isn't that hard") and other knottie love/humor. Pretty please??  xoxo
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

This made me laugh.

That's pretty much all I have to contribute, since I'm still an unengaged loser and have no experience planning a wedding.

Also, create a bio so I can stalk your plans whenever I want.

Also, I will probably crash your wedding, so just be prepared for that.

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_holy-crap-iwe-plan-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:22c35e2b-33c9-4fed-84d2-b11bfaaaa4bdPost:8e8dfa2b-5e80-44b9-9540-4a6a9beaf8a3">Re: Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding. : This made me laugh. That's pretty much all I have to contribute, since I'm still an unengaged loser and have no experience planning a wedding. <strong>Also, create a bio so I can stalk your plans whenever I want.</strong> Also, I will probably crash your wedding, so just be prepared for that.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

This. I love stalking bios.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_holy-crap-iwe-plan-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:22c35e2b-33c9-4fed-84d2-b11bfaaaa4bdPost:8e8dfa2b-5e80-44b9-9540-4a6a9beaf8a3">Re: Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Holy Crap I/we have to plan a wedding. : This made me laugh. That's pretty much all I have to contribute, since I'm still an unengaged loser and have no experience planning a wedding. Also, create a bio so I can stalk your plans whenever I want. Also, I will probably crash your wedding, so just be prepared for that.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
You're not a loser!! Your BF is just waiting for the pony he adopted to get old enough to give you before he breaks out your ring from it's hiding spot. <div>
</div><div>And, bending to the will of Elle and GPB, I will try to make a bio once planning gets started. I've never been good at writing in a diary or anything like that though, so no promises. :-P</div>

jemmini6

I freaked out when I first started planning too.  Just remember to take one thing at a time...it gets very overwhelming if you try to plan every detail at the same time.

We started with a guest list.  First we put on there EVERYONE that we would invite if we could, so we knew a general idea of numbers.  Then we started sending seeking out venue prices to determine what we could resonably afford/who we could resonably cut to have the wedding we wanted.  For instance, we had about 150 on our 'everyone' list, but with the price of food at the venues we liked, that just wasn't possible, so we started cutting down from there to get to the budget we wanted to be at.  We ended up with around 80-90 on our final list.

We also did a lot of research to start for other vendors.  Like desert said, you can't say $100 will do for flowers when you really don't know how much it cost.  From there we set up our target budget, and started booking vendors.  Some we went a little over on, but we knew where we had room in our budget to be flexible.  For instance, we went a little over on the photographer, but then we saved on the officiant, etc.

Also, the best thing that helped through the bulk of the planning was having my FI be involved.  It was great having someone to help with those big decisions and he really took a lot of the financial stress off me, reminding me to just not worry about it sometimes.

paintgirl

Yes you are right! It was Acro! Good call.

leia1979

Don't worry, cschiano. It's really not that hard. Just take one thing at a time. I think the hardest part was the venue, because once you get that taken care of (after the budget and initial guest list), everything else will start to click.

I agree with KD...weddingwire's budget program is excellent. They also have a drag & drop seating chart program.

I also agree with Desert on a venue with stuff included. The fewer vendors you have to find, the better. Also Yelp was really helpful for me to find vendors.

hetshup

I have Acro's list in my planning bio. I was engaged for 9 months but also had the brilliant idea to move in the middle of the engagement, so I lost a good 2.5 months to that. You will be fine, and ditto Desert, the good thing about all us creeper OG on here is that you can ask us questions. 

nottheonlydreamer44

Aw, Chels, you will be totally fine but I know the scary moment of, "Oh my God I have to do this?!" Listen to all the other PP's they are wise. I had 18 months to plan last time around and it turned out fine and this time I've successfully put off doing anything until 3 months out. I probably should be a lot more worried but it's only stressful if you make it that way.

I will say if you make a plan STICK WITH IT as much as possible. However, sometimes changing your mind can be a good thing and you'll end up getting better deals. All in all the wedding will be beautiful and so will you.

MissOwl

you get to taste lots of food and cake!!! that's awesome

you can do it!

desertsun

I'm not gonna lie. I totally put off cake tasting to motivate me to get other stuff done. "As soon as I pick out linens and talk to the DJ, I can go taste cakes!"

I have a bit of a sweet tooth.

bourgehm

Projectwedding is also awesome! I found my flowers and hair inspirations and everything through there for our first date we picked. Also, don't worry too much. i honestly don't think wedding planning is all that stressful if you don't let it be.