Not Engaged Yet

Shady Shady

So there is this girl that FI used to talk to on the phone. They have never met or anything, a friend "introduced" them by giving the phone number to my FI and they talked a lot.  So I know of this girl, first from a year ago when she had texted him and asked if he had a gf and I responed yes he does.  So she doesn't call/text him until 2 weeks ago.  To ask him for money.  He texts her back that his FI wouldn't like that very much, trying to get the point across. 

So a couple of nights ago, she calls him while I am on the phone..  I ask what she wanted and he said she was asking again to borrow money.  I go off on how disrespectful this is and demand he call her back and tell her no and to stop calling.  He does this and in the midst of telling her that she is not to call anymore because he is engaged and all this she hangs up on him.  I may be a b!tch, but I don't care what she thinks. 

So now that my rant on shady b!tches is over..what kind of girls have y'all came across that tries/tried to over step their bounds? How was it taken care of?

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Re: Shady Shady

  • edited December 2011
    What a nutcase. So far...nothing. But we have the rest of our lives for shady people to come along.
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That whole situation sounds shady.

    J is my first BF who hasn't come with a whole fan club of crazy girls. I am so grateful for that.

    I still like Lyn's story abou ther FI answering the phone call from "Heidi" during dinner!
  • coastiegrl25coastiegrl25 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Haha yes I love Lyn's story about that!  Yea, the whole situation does sound shady.  Without you knowing FI, it would seem that FI was being shady too.  As it were, he did not have to tell me this girl even called and when he did and we talked about it, that is when I made him call and tell her that.  He doesn't have a mean bone in his body and didn't know what to say to her so I just helped him out with it.  :) I am just so kind like that.
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  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I had a run-in with a chick recently that BF and I went to high school with. Neither of us were ever friends with her or anything in high school or now. She friended BF on FB and started writing stuff like "Hey how have you been?" My first thought was WTH? But then I knew she was just trying to be friendly and I blew it off. But then she asked him where he lives, and invited him over her house after work. I was weirded out by it, but it wasn't until my family members were calling me asking me what it was about that I felt the need to step in.

    I wrote her a polite message saying that I know she was just being nice and catching up but that she crossed a line by inviting him over her house, especially where my whole family could see it. She got all defensive and flipped out on me telling me that I was over-reacting and that I didn't trust BF. When I explained that I DO trust BF we just have a mutual understanding that it is not okay to be with someone of the opposite sex alone in their home, she blew it off, and just deleted me from FB. She then went and messaged BF that "she was sorry for getting him in trouble and that she was still there for him."

    They haven't spoke since and he deleted the messages off his page. It was really strange to me, but it is over.
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  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Speaking of shady/crazies, I just saw that a chick I went to college with got a tattoo of her BF's name. They have only been dating about a month!!!!! I am like blown away at how stupid people can be!
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  • edited December 2011
    BF and I are each others second relationship. And honestly, our first ones shouldn't count. His ex did call a few months back but he told her he had to go. And with my urging he deleted her off FB. Despite the fact that she cheated on him for most of their relationship, he still thinks she's a very nice person.
  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I mainly think the chick sounds shady because she's asking for money.  My BF has as many or as few girl friends as he wants, lol.  He keeps the number pretty low though.  He's also met about 95% of all my guy friends.  Not a big deal.
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  • coastiegrl25coastiegrl25 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_shady-shady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:24dcdfc9-06cd-4b99-a935-8601f2b9c4f2Post:0f6dfce2-679c-4a55-9fd1-cb2ab6d03d01">Re: Shady Shady</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mainly think the chick sounds shady because she's asking for money.  My BF has as many or as few girl friends as he wants, lol.  He keeps the number pretty low though.  He's also met about 95% of all my guy friends.  Not a big deal.
    Posted by Blue & White[/QUOTE]

    Right?! I'm like the only time she has contacted you in a year is to ask you for money.  Good friend.  He has a couple other friends that are girls that will call him, and I have talked to them.  I have no problem with him having friends that are girls as I have a few really good guy friends.  This girl just pissed me off.  I told him look, if she was really a friend, #1 she wouldnt just call and ask for money and #2 when she found out I had a problem with her calling then she would have wanted to talk to me and explain to me that she wants nothing to do with him outside of a friendship.  Instead she hangs up on him.  Whatever, he isn't upset about it since she really isn't a friend and I am happy that she will stop calling.  Her money issues are not FI's problem.
    When is my wedding
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_shady-shady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:24dcdfc9-06cd-4b99-a935-8601f2b9c4f2Post:79c5e240-904a-4100-8d16-78974c753834">Re: Shady Shady</a>:
    [QUOTE]Speaking of shady/crazies, I just saw that a chick I went to college with got a tattoo of her BF's name. They have only been dating about a month!!!!! I am like blown away at how stupid people can be!
    Posted by cdechristopher[/QUOTE]

    ARGH! FI's cousin did this after dating her BF for a month too. She's going to be trying to remove that thing with a Brillo pad if they break up. As a tattooed lady myself, I gotta agree that that is quite possibly the dumbest thing people can do. Never, ever tattoo the name of a SO! I don't care if you've been married twenty years - <em>don't do it</em>! [/rant]

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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Not with anything related to BF, but there's this girl from Ecuador who stayed with my family during a brief study abroad period (3 weeks) in high school.  We became very close at the time, and kept in touch, but over time didn't talk as much.  About two weeks ago, she contacted me on Facebook chat.  When I said the obligatory, "How are you?", she responded, "Not so good.  I have cancer."  She wouldn't specify what type of cancer, what her prognosis was, what treatments she was on, etc.   She told me that she needed this medication that her insurance wouldn't cover, and that she didn't have the $100 needed to pay for it, and her parents were out of town so she couldn't ask them.  So she wanted me to wire her money.  I felt terrible, but something didn't feel right - her Facebook page is filled with happy pictures of her going out to dinner with her new FI, going to the beach with friends, etc.  I asked one of our mutual friends how Fernanda was feeling, and he was confused.  He works with her FI and had not heard that she was sick.  I can't say for certain that it was a ploy for money, but it didn't feel right.

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  • edited December 2011
    cate - a friend of mine was telling me a couple months ago about a scam on facebook, someone hacks your facebook account and asks your friends for money.  it's also happened on email as well.  maybe you should find out if it was really her?
  • edited December 2011
    What the f-ck?! Who just calls someone they have never even met and just randomly asks for money? That is the weirdest thing in the world to me especially if I hadn't talked to them in over a year. Girls are so freaking weird sometimes.

    We don't have any shady girls really besides the "family friend" who FI hooked up with years ago and who popped up once we were dating. This crazy bitch drove to North Michigan (8hour+ drive) the weekend we were there because she was upset that FI didn't invite HER along, even though she'd asked him to go several times in the past.

    Like seriously. She just showed up at the family house after calling his brother and saying she was "in the area". How the hell are you in the area when you live 8 hours away? I don't know. But she came up and when she saw FI jumped on him and started kissing his face saying, "HI HONEY!" This was about 2 months into a us dating but we were in the middle of buying a house that she knew about. I stood there with all of his family around me and didn't know what to do. So I just removed myself to our bedroom and went to sleep. FI came down shortly after and was freaking out about her and didn't go back up to even look at her for the rest of the time she was there.

    About 2 months later when we were engaged she emailed him all pissed off saying, "oh okay I see how it is, you can't talk to me... what did I do? I can't believe you're engaged blah blah blah." He never spoke to her again after telling her to leave him alone in an email. That killed that pretty quick. lol.

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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_shady-shady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:24dcdfc9-06cd-4b99-a935-8601f2b9c4f2Post:ee4fa7de-294b-44fb-aa04-7d17bfb8ae00">Re: Shady Shady</a>:
    [QUOTE]cate - a friend of mine was telling me a couple months ago about a scam on facebook, someone hacks your facebook account and asks your friends for money.  it's also happened on email as well.  maybe you should find out if it was really her?
    Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

    I had that happen with someone else, so I know what to look for and what to ask.  It was a friend studying in London and the hacker clearly didn't read enough of the details to tell a convincing story - all they read was that she lived in London and was a model.  So "she" told me that "she" was stuck in New York City after having been robbed, that these "kind Americans" let her use the computer to email some friends for money.  Dumb hacker didn't know her family LIVED in New York and that she was American, so it was a rather transparent attempt.

    No, this was definitely my host sister.  She was mentioning stuff from when she stayed with me.

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  • sparkles88sparkles88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    BF and I had a mutual friend that really liked him and made no secret of it after we started dating. She and BF had been fairly good friends and everyone assumed they would one day get together. Over time though, BF realized she was a wee bit BSC. They never got together and she proceeded to date other guys, while BF and I got together.  She and her BF broke up shortly after BF and I got together. BF and I started having some problems, and she began doing very flirtatious things, even right in front of me! We broke up a little while later, and the whole time we were apart she was trying to get with him. We got back together a few months later and she still tried to get with him. It didn't work and we remained happily together. Thankfully, she seems to have found a new BF that has mellowed her out quite a bit and they seem to be very happy.
  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_shady-shady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:24dcdfc9-06cd-4b99-a935-8601f2b9c4f2Post:27d4bd68-c59c-4bdc-b3ac-13199fbe5036">Re: Shady Shady</a>:
    [QUOTE]That whole situation sounds shady. J is my first BF who hasn't come with a whole fan club of crazy girls. I am so grateful for that. I still like Lyn's story abou ther FI answering the phone call from "Heidi" during dinner!
    Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

    Its been a couple of weeks but I still laugh when I think about that convo.  Every once in a while when Shelton comes home late or his phone signals that he has a text message I ask if Heidi is calling to follow up for Christmas. 
  • edited December 2011
    Yea  that is weird for sure. I can't believe she would just ask for money out of the blue like that.

    When FI and I first started dating there was this girl who was a friend of his friends that was pretty much obsessed with him. She tried everything she could to break us up. FI and I were long distance at the time so it was hard not being there but he would tell me everything so I just let it slide.

    After FI and I moved to CA we both got CA numbers so she could not call anymore. She was still able to get a-hold of him on facebook but she never did. Apparently when she found out that we got engaged she freaked out and had a JOP wedding with her bf of 2 months because she was so upset.

    She is really married now but the reason she got married is just hear say from FI's friend so who know. She is a few fries short of a happy meal though.
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    DH ex-gf is most definitely BSC for sure. She was consistently trying to meddle/get in the middle of our relationship in the beginning. It was not fun.
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  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Note: This was in 2006, I had graduated and FI was about to. There was a girl at our high school whose llittle sister was bff with FSIL. When girl got her license, she asked if FSIL could some with them to get ice cream. FFIL threw a fit because it was the girls first week driving, it was raining, etc so he made FI drive them all, including the sister. Well apparently, the girl took that as a date. I guess she'd talk to him on aim but I thought nothing of it until she texted him "when are you coming on?" as he was driving me home. That made me suspicious so I went on his myspace later and looked in his messages. There was nothin from her but there was a long letter to her about how they can't be together, he has a g/f, etc- very gently (almost too gently) bringing her down. This pissed me off so I wrote her a nice message on my myspace that said "I would appreciate it if you would stop talking to FI, he has a girlfriend :)" She won't me back "don't worry, I wont" and completely ignored him the next day when we were all at a friends bday party. He mentioned how weird she was acting and I said it was probably because I told her to back off. She promptly deleted us from her myspace and has never added us on FB. FSIL dumped her sister too once she started at her new school.
  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Okay, I haven't ever had anything really, actually shady happen. But one time a single girl my H worked with gave him a Christmas present, despite knowing he was in a happy relationship. And another time a co-worker in an open marriage propositioned him. (This was when we first started dating and were keeping it quiet). Awwwwkward!


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  • edited December 2011
    FI's ex gf from high school and him remained friends after they broke up but she thought that meant they'd get back together eventually, though she dated other guys. When FI and I got engaged she went over to his house "to congratulate him" and got all upset about how this would "ruin their friendship" and it would "never be the same." She said she was happy for us but that she was still in love with him. To which FI said, I'm in love with my fiancee and want to spend my life with her so I don't know what to tell you. They haven't really talked since then, which is fine with me!
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  • deburnindeburnin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's... strange. I couldn't imagine calling up someone I haven't talked to in forever and asking for money. Actually... I couldn't imagine calling up anyone and asking them for money.

    Back in high school BF was the guy all the marching band/choir girls wanted. Walking into a concert or marching band competition to this day I still get cold glares from girls. It's insane!! BF's on pretty good terms with a lot of his exes. One kind of went nuts in the last three months and cut everyone out of her life (expect my BFF and she creeps on us through her... which is just weird).
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Luckily, BF doesn't have any crazy exes, not anymore, anyway. He was single for about 2 years before he met me. He's picky. :)

    Anyway, my ex had a crazy ex. One time, a couple weeks after we started dating, we were meeting up late at night to go to a New Year's Eve party. RIGHT after we went in the door of the building, there was this crazy banging on the door, and I looked around to see this girl with the CRAZIEST look on her face. Her hair was flying back from her face around her head like something out of a creepy movie. He sent me upstairs and dealt with her one on one. She was aghast at the fact that he was going to be spending the New Year's Eve with me and not her. She said it was a coincidence and she'd just seen him on the street--yeah, right, honey. You were straight up stalking him. She also called him several times in the beginning of our relationship, including once at 4am, or rather, 10 times. YECH.
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