Need to Vent...

loves2shop4shoes

I've had a really rough last 2 days.  My coworker, who used to be my boss but got demoted, took a filing cabinet out of my office because she decided she wanted it.  All of the pathology that was organized in the filing cabinet was literally THROWN around my office and is completely disorganized now...and it'll take me hours to reorganize it.  There were 6 empty filing cabinets in the office, but she had to take THAT one.  Awesome.

And THEN...I got all this shiit from my family about wedding accommodations.  Basically, there are 5 cabins on the property where we're getting married.  Each cabin sleeps 6 people.  One cabin is for me and FI.  One is for my dad.  One is for FI's mom.  One is for FI's aunt.  And one was supposed to be for my cousins and brother to share.

Then my other cousin, who's DD is my FG, asked if she could have a cabin.  This cousin is doing a reading at my wedding and has 3 children under 3.  So I told her of course.  She needs access to a kitchen and needs to have a place close by so that if one of her kids acts up, she can take them back to the cabin.

So I told her she could have a cabin, and I'd put the cousins in guest rooms on the property.  I truly was just trying to be considerate.  Apparently I forgot to mention this to my brother.  It wasn't an intentional slight.  It's just hard to keep track of who you tell what to with so many details.

So yesterday, my brother called me up and yelled at me.  He was like "You told me I got first dibs because I'm your brother and now you give my cabin away.  This is BS.  It's more expensive to stay in a guest room, and as it is, I'm paying $3k+ to fly to your wedding from Italy (where he lives) and blahblahblahblah"...and kept yelling at me until I cried.

So now I have to rework my cabins...and FI is not happy about the whole situation.  And I'm exhausted.  And I'm really tired of people rubbing in my face how inconvenient/expensive/far away it is for them to come to my wedding.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGG.

cu97tiger

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how hard it is to keep EVERYONE'S needs in mind, and have something slip through the cracks. It's crappy of your brother (or ANY guest) to throw the cost of coming to the wedding in your face. It's irrelevant. All that's really relevant is that plans changed and he didn't get informed. 

Hopefully when you've both had a chance to calm down, he'll accept an apology from you for the miscommunication, and understand that it made more sense to put the FGs family in a cabin. Is the cost really THAT much different from a cabin to a guest room? Could your brother not stay with one of your parents?

flygirlmeg

This was something FI and I dealt with as soon as we decided to get married in Tahoe so I feel your pain.  I'm going to echo Tiger's comments on this because she's so right on.  It was completely NOT your intention to make it more difficult for your brother; you were just trying to make sure everyone was taken care of and that's hard when you're also trying to plan the actual wedding.  I really hope your brother will see that when he calms down.
Also, this might seem harsh BUT . . . he's the one that lives in Italy and, unless you were to get married in Italy, he'd have to fly back to the states for your wedding anyway.  If he's going to complain about it, then really, he can act like a child and just not go to your wedding.  Your guests are adults and they kind of need to figure it out if they want to be there.  Yes, you want to make sure things aren't difficult for people and you want to help them if possible but you can't baby them every step of the way.  You shouldn't have to! 

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:278b4285-b666-4877-a356-8b2447e38384Post:b140b458-cd7f-408f-bbaf-23cdda0d5e97">Re: Need to Vent...</a>:
[QUOTE]This was something FI and I dealt with as soon as we decided to get married in Tahoe so I feel your pain.  I'm going to echo Tiger's comments on this because she's so right on.  It was completely NOT your intention to make it more difficult for your brother; you were just trying to make sure everyone was taken care of and that's hard when you're also trying to plan the actual wedding.  I really hope your brother will see that when he calms down. Also, this might seem harsh BUT . . . he's the one that lives in Italy and, unless you were to get married in Italy, he'd have to fly back to the states for your wedding anyway.  If he's going to complain about it, then really, he can act like a child and just not go to your wedding.  Your guests are adults and they kind of need to figure it out if they want to be there.  Yes, you want to make sure things aren't difficult for people and you want to help them if possible but you can't baby them every step of the way.  You shouldn't have to! 
Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]
Meg is wise.

I am really sorry that you are dealing with this.

NurseyK

Hugs I'm sorry! Wedding planning is not puppies and rainbows and the details can really drive you up a wall and into insanity. I went through a lot, too, with similar arguments almost daily for months. Trust me when I say that it will be worth it in the end and that everything will work out. And tell your brother he needs to be nice to you, because I say so.