Because I'm bored/how to get Dad and BF alone for the talk!

elannis

I am messing around online instead of working. And we were going to go see the Golden Dragon Acrobats tonight, but heard they were running out of tickets so I called and got them. So now we're definitely going. I've never seen them, but the youtube video looks pretty cool. Has anyone else seen them before?

Also, I think I'm responsible for getting BF some alone time with my dad this weekend. He has (not so subtly) expressed his desire to have that chat but doesn't know how to do it without me helping to get them alone together, lol. I'm not sure how easy this is going to be at a zoo where everyone is together, because I'm sure he's going to need some time to get the courage, and to make sure he has enough time before everyone comes back. Maybe I can drag my mom and my bro's GF to the bathroom or something. I don't know, but it's kind of exciting. I know it doesn't mean it'll happen soon, but it's progress, lol.

ETA: More informative title.

elannis

Also look at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=r1jGinWpKow

That would be sooo annoying, but so cute too, lol.

cu97tiger

Why don't you suggest that the two of them go get you all drinks, or food or something. Maybe they can do that before or after the zoo. Or if you go somewhere else, make sure they are in the car alone and the rest of you in the other car

ETA: Squee! When FI asked my dad, I was literally downstairs from them (they were in the loft). I could hear them talking but couldn't understand what they were saying. I had no idea it was happening, but it made me happy that they were just chatting away.

elannis

Ooh, I really like the food idea. I'm trying to keep it from my mom though, and she's annoyingly perceptive to my behavior, lol. If she knows he asked, she's going to bother me EVER MORE than she does now about "why hasn't he done it yet?" So I'll have to be sly, but that could work! : )

elannis

I didn't want him to at first either. I wanted it to be a complete surprise to everyone because I've always wanted that moment to go around together and tell everyone, but it happened to come up one day between my dad and me and I realized how much it would mean to him, and I caved, lol. I just made him promise not to tell anyone when it happens.

elannis

Normally they're fine doing that too. They hang out in my dad's shop when we visit, but we're going to the zoo this time, so I'm not sure if they'll get the alone time they need. However, I do need to order a new computer for work and since I know nothing about computers, maybe I can plan a visit and have my brother help me out with that and let those two have some time to have a chat.

I can tell BF is so nervous too and I told him he shouldn't be; I know my dad and I know he's going to get really serious and it's going to mean so much to him (he LOVES BF), and then he'll act like it never happened so that nobody knows. I can see how it would be nervewracking though, lol. But if I can have a chat with his mom about her hurting my feelings (she is the most intimidating woman ever), then he can ask my dad for his blessing. Either way, starting the conversation is the hardest thing ever (or so I'd imagine, lol).

I'm starting to realize that I use () a lot in my posts ...

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_because-im-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2841ac62-cd42-4296-92a0-d513d6191137Post:23631fc5-ca5e-404b-9d63-7132f85a563d">Re: Because I'm bored.</a>:
[QUOTE]I avoided this issue by telling FI he wasn't allowed to ask my dad. 
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Ditto!  I thought I was the only one (other than Leia, I think) who put her foot down about that.

swhite2012

I have no good advice because FI and my dad play golf together all the time, so if he had wanted to he would have had the opportunity. But he didn't talk to him beforehand. When we called to tell my parents what happened my dad was like "What about what I say?" He was just joking, but I do think that deep down he was a bit hurt/miffed/whatever that FI didn't ask him. I felt bad =(

kaitlynmichelle

I'm no help as my BF has already said that he doesn't intend on asking my stepdad, or my mom.  He apparently doesn't intend on telling anyone when he is planning on proposing, which I guess is good so I don't know its coming.  

I like the whole 'go get us drinks/food' idea though.  

elannis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_because-im-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2841ac62-cd42-4296-92a0-d513d6191137Post:6b436ed8-849e-474d-a25a-98337eee737e">Re: Because I'm bored/how to get Dad and BF alone for the talk!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no good advice because FI and my dad play golf together all the time, so if he had wanted to he would have had the opportunity. But he didn't talk to him beforehand. When we called to tell my parents what happened my dad was like "What about what I say?"<strong> He was just joking, but I do think that deep down he was a bit hurt/miffed/whatever that FI didn't ask him. I felt bad</strong> =(
Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

This is why I gave in. It's really not all that important to me and BFwill be asking for their blessing, not permission, so if it's important to my dad (I'm his only daughter) to do this traditionally, then I don't see why it can't happen. I think I've made it clear to him how important it is for everything to stay a secret though. I know BF asking doesn't set a timeline, but my mom has annoyed me plenty by asking me every other time she sees me when I am going to get engage ... I think I can pay her back by keeping her in the dark for a while, lol.

I think she's more BSC than I am most of the time, but I also believe this is due to her intense desire for me to give her a grandchild, lol. A lot of the ladies she works with are having their daughters get married and have kids and I think she feels left out, lol.

csousa1

I like Tiger's suggestions Also squeeee that they are having the talk!

BF has told me he has no intention of asking anyone beforehand. He said it is a decision between us, and has nothing to do with anyone else's opinions, which is true. I don't think my parents will care at all, but I did tell BF that if he decides to talk to them at all, to make sure to include my mom. My sister's FI didn't ask her, because he thought she would give it away, and her feelings were a little hurt that my dad was asked and not her, which makes complete sense.

elannis

My mom was present when my dad and I talked about BF asking him some day or not and I made it clear he's not even allowed to tell her ... especially her, lol. I want it to be a surprise. I've always hated the idea of getting engaged and being totally excited and then everyone already knows about it, but maybe I'm just weird, lol. I think she's ok with waiting; especially since she's already made me promise that she'll be the first one I call, lol.

I had an incident a few years back with an ex where my cousin made some comment about us possibly getting married soon. Well my great aunt twisted her words and it ended up the entire family thought I was engaged and my mom thought she was the last to find out and she called me to yell at me because I hadn't told her, lol. I was so confused because I was the last to find out about it. That's not gonna happen again, lol.

But yeah, I think she's ok with it because she'll know first when it happens.

LilMama827

trying to get my BF down to my house even for the same issue... he told my BF he didnt have to formally ask but my BF is traditional and says he will do it anyway but he hasnt gotten down here when my parents are home and its driving me crazy I tried explaining this to my parents and my dad and i joked about how he dosnt have to but my mom has to meddle her thoughts about it and practially said he didnt ask yet.. i think he's gonna have a harder time with my mom then my dad which pretty much means I should join him in this discussion because i dont want my mom to go weird on him ...

nothing will be a suprise to me except when he actually does it ... i hope..lol ...

elannis

Well, he only gets to do this once, so I don't think it's too much for your BF to get to do it the traditional way, lol, but I understand about getting them together and crazy moms. My mom wouldn't really give him a hard time for real, but it wouldn't surprise me if she would try to give him a hard time just to see him sweat a little before letting him know that she was kidding.