When did you know?

orangehills

I've been talking a lot with friends, hearing their stories about when they knew their significant other was "The One." When did you know? Did you have a feeling after a few months, but then really know after a year? Or are you still waiting to get that feeling? Did you ever have moments of doubt and panic about the future?

AudgiePodge

When he took me on a cruise to Mexico for our 2 week anniversary and bought me lots of things.  I money.  I mean, I H.

CCO2012

I knew the morning after we first hung out. I had slept over at his place because my drunk friends ditched me and he walked me back to my car in the morning. We talked the whole way to my car and couldn't stop kissing goodbye. When I drove away I just knew I didn't want to spend any of the rest of my life without him in it. He felt the same way

AnneR15

Looking back, I think I knew with our first kiss. Consciously, it was when I went back to college and ached with how much I missed him.

Elle1036

I can't really pinpoint a time at which I knew (or at least, knew that I knew).  I guess, if pressed, I would say it was when my cat died a few months into our relationship.  We had only been together about 6 months, and Gaia's untimely death (she had feline leukemia) really threw me for a loop.  I cried myself to sleep every night for two weeks, skipped a bunch of my classes, ate nothing but junk food.  I was siriusly a mess.  And yet he stuck by me, brought me flowers, never said a negative word about my appearance or my dropping grades, and had me come sleep at his place every night so I wouldn't be alone.

It took me a couple years to fully appreciate that, at just 6 months into the relationship, he didn't have to do all that.

IrishDreamer

Hmmm.... we were probably 2-3 weeks in, and I got really sick. D*mn near had pneumonia (which, with my scarred lungs = badnewsbears). I was living in the dorms, had very little family contact, no insurance, and working 2 jobs, plus a full class load. He went to the store, picked up girlie items (yes, mother nature was a real effing b!tch that week), cold medicine, cough medicine, chinese soup, soft tissues and a stuffed animal and brought them to me and babied me for two whole days.

Now this may not seem like much, but I am a HORRIBLE sick person. I DESPISE, LOATHE, and DETEST being sick - I can't stay resting - I keep thinking about all the work and school stuff I should be doing. So when he went out of his way to take care of me, and dealt with my sick assss...yep, I knew.

[Deleted User]

When did you know he was "the one"?
Early on in our relationship I shared something with BF that I had never told anyone else about. It was something I was embarrassed by...something that he could easily have judged me for. Not only did he not judge me, he was very compassionate and supportive. The way he handled the situation, I knew I had someone very special. I wouldn't say I knew he was "the one" in that moment, but I knew that he was definitely the type of person that I'd want to end up with. I knew that I could trust him with anything and that his feelings for me were serious.

Did you have a feeling after a few months, but then really know after a year? Or are you still waiting to get that feeling?
The conversation that I refer to above happened about 1-2 months in. After 5 years I can't remember an exact moment that I thought "I'm going to marry this man", but I know that I've felt that we will get married for quite some time. To me, it's not one thing that BF did that makes me want to marry him - it's in all the little things along the way; what we've built together over the years.

Did you ever have moments of doubt and panic about the future?
I wouldn't say I panic, but I've had times during our relationship where i've questioned if I was making the right decision. It's natural to compare ourselves to others, to listen a little to closely to the criticisms of others, to worry what will change in the future. Over the years I have become better at trusting in what BF and I have and not getting tangled up in what other's think.

Ollie08

I'm not sure when it happened. I remember leaving his house one morning heading to work and for the first time in my life I could picture myself old and gray on a rocking chair next to him.

audrewuh

We'd been dating about a week and my allergies used to be horrible. We were sleeping and I woke myself up right as I sneezed on him. I started crying as I wiped the sneeze off him, waking him up, and he told me to just roll over and go back to sleep. The next morning he gave me a huge kiss and a tissue. I knew if he could handle my allergies and horrible sneezes, it was meant to be.  

jemmini6

Well FI did tell me the night we met that we were going to get married in 3 years.  LOL.  But seriously, we started saying I love you after a few weeks (probably felt it sooner, but didn't want to seem like a crazy person by saying it so soon) and were already talking marriage after about 4 or 5 months.  We did still wait until almost 2 years to get engaged and funny enough, we are actually getting married just 2 weeks before the 3 year mark when FI told me we'd get married.

leia1979

I'd say somewhere around six months in when we started talking about moving in together and agreed that we both considered it a serious step that we would not undertake unless we planned the relationship to go further.

I did still have a few moments of "what am I doing" leading up to the wedding. I have fears of change and commitment. Everything was fine; I'm just a worrier.

duckymonkey

About a week and a half after we met (we had gone on a few dates by then but were not yet in a relationship), I got sick and had a terrible experience at the doctor's... I mentioned this in one of my texts to him, but didn't really think much of it. Well, that night, out of the blue, he just said.... "come outside". I was already in my pajamas and ready for bed.... I went outside, and there he was.... with an arrangement of roses in his hand, waiting by my car.

Right then and there I knew this guy was special!!! There was something about him that made me feel very different from anything I had ever felt for any guy before.... That small but meaningful gesture swept me off my feet.... and the surprises have kept on coming ever since.... he keeps wooing me everytime!!

sparkles88

When did you know he was "the one"?
I have issues with the concept of thinking of someone as "the one." This concept caused me a lot of stress for a few months, so I try not to even consider it now when thinking about my relationship. I did have several moments, though, that really made me think, "I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him."

Did you have a feeling after a few months, but then really know after a year? Or are you still waiting to get that feeling?
I think the times of hardship are what really made me consider marriage as a possibility. For example, last year I had a huge hormone imbalance for 9 months. It came with a ton of physical problems, and it turned me into a raging b!tch (think 9 months of PMS...). He stuck with me through it all and even did a ton of research to help me find the best treatments for it, because the doctors were pretty much useless. One of the biggest defining moments was when we went to my dad's grave right before we moved away from Las Vegas. BF was there with me, and not only did he comfort me, but he actually cried too, even though he had never met him. That was a huge thing for me.

Did you ever have moments of doubt and panic about the future?
Yes, especially when I tried to think of him as "the one." When I decided to move with him so he could attend grad school, I kept thinking, "What if I'm making a mistake? I don't think I've had that moment telling me he's the one." I was also getting a lot of pressuring questions from coworkers about when we would get married, since I was taking a huge step to stay with him. I finally talked to a therapist about all of it. I came to the conclusion that I was happy all along with our relationship, and we are on the same page about a lot of stuff in our relationship (children, religion, money, etc). It didn't matter that I didn't have one defining moment to tell me he was right.

jorja86

I knew when I went on a cruise for spring break like a week after I met BF (we weren't even officially dating yet), and I missed him the whole trip-didn't have any interest in hooking up with anyone else, and was insanely happy when we got back and I had a voicemail from him "checking in".

TheMutleys

When did you know?

2-3 months in.  Life threw a lot of sh!t our way the first couple of months and the way that we handled it as a couple made me know that we were both in this for the long haul. 

Did you have a feeling after a few months, but then really know after a year?

I'd say that I really knew when we moved in together.  DH says that he knew, knew that we were getting married at that point. 

Did you ever have moments of doubt and panic about the future?

With him, never. 

Peaseblossom55

I knew a few months into the relationship, when I began to trust and learned this guy was so different from all of the other jerks I dated. Once I realized I've had no doubts or worries.

TigerlilySabre

This relationship has felt very different from any that I've experienced before. In past relationships, I never had a moment of thinking they were "the one". Indeed, I always thought I was commitmentphobic and if you had asked me a year ago if I would be hanging out on a board on this website, I would have laughed at you.

I always thought of BF as "hot" when we were just friends but I did not necessarily read anything into that. After my last relationship fell apart, I realized that the more I paid attention, the more this hot friend was just so right for me on so many levels, and I was right for him.

It's like the guy that I'd fantasized about as a little kid, this was that guy. I developed a clear "type" that I preferred since college, he is that type personified. He also happens to look like my favorite actor, though I didn't realize that until recently. The crazy thing is that I'm the same thing for him in reverse. I'm the girl that he says he always fantasized about but never thought existed.

Ok, but a good example of when I knew (which is kind of an ongoing thing) is when we had a fight recently. I got really almost irrationally mad at him. I was really behaving badly. My recent ex would have yelled at me. My previous exes would have stopped talking to me. What did this guy do? He sent me an email that said, "I wish that we had met when we were little. This is the age when I would have first had a crush on you." There was a link to the cutest photo of him age 2 or 3, (we're 2 1/2 years apart). I totally melted, irrational anger vanished. So yeah, it's early days, but seriously, in years of past relationships, I never had anything close to this.