House? (long)

lzimm13

So BF's grandfather died a little bit ago. They weren't close he's really not too upset, or upset at all really. BF's dad is telling us that we should buy the house. That township has the lowest taxes in the area. The house would be fairly cheap for us, but we don't have an appraisal yet for an exact price. The house is in good condition, it just needs some updating. We could update and resell in 5 years or so and make a few bucks. 

Here we reach the issue. My parents would go ballistic is we moved in together and I know I'm an adult and I make my own decisions and all that but honestly I just don't feel like hearing it. It might even be more convenient to continue to live at home and work on the house on our days off. We wouldn't have to pay utilities, or pay minimal utilities and we could use that money for the updating the house. 

I mean I guess I'm just looking for opinions on the situation. I kinda feel like it would be dumb to buy this house that we wouldn't be living in immediately but it is an investment and we would be living in it eventually (aprox.1yr-1.5yrs) Flame away! lol

jennyp08

Are you guys close to being engaged?  How old are you? 

2 things...

1, I'm 23 and my fiance is 24.  His father is telling us its an awesome time to buy.  it is, but I still don't know where I"ll be working when I graduate from law school, and having a house will tether me to this city.  Plus, having a mortgage will affect how much we can spend on a wedding.

2. If you aren't married or engaged yet ESPECIALLY if you're still young, I'd be hesitant to buy anything this big together.  I got onto a lease with my fiance, but even that could go bad.

I know its a good opportunity, and its his grandmothers house, but it sounds like a pain in the butt waiting to happen.  I'd let a different relative take advantage of the opportunity, some one better situated to handle a mortgage.

Norway_T

Are they really giving you a could deal on the house?  I mean the housing market is pretty crumby right now, double check that what they want you to pay is really below market price.

IF you have to move are you going to be able to rent it out for a price around what you pay on a morgage?

Can you afford a morgage now? 

Do you want to live in PHILADELPHIA for the next ten years?

Are there major repairs to be made on the house, how much will they cost?

Do you like the house/area?

Are you prepared to live with your boyfriend now`?

In regards to your parents, if you are already planning the wedding, what if you asked your parents whether they would prefer you to sign papers in Court making it "officiail" now and having a ceremony later if they don't want you "living in sin"?

Goldlie11

If your bf wants to buy the house on his own, fine.  But you should not get involved.  

KD+BC

I agree with Goldie. Let your bf buy it if he wants. You can still help him work on it, and assuming you get married, it could be your home together. Just don't sign the papers.

A year ago, bf and I were living together in an apartment. We started looking at houses and ended up buying the one we live in now. I am NOT on the morgage because, the way we looked at it was, if we were to break up I would not have been able to afford the morgage myself but bf could. It's his house technically but we live here together. It's our house. I'm just not legally responsible for it.

lzimm13

Jennyp:  We are not engaged, I'm pretty sure he's already bought the ring (we picked it out) and he says I'll get it in January. I'm 22, hes 26. I AM hesitant to buy a house (no matter whos it is) I just really didn't think It was something I'd be doing so soon. 

Norway: We don't know yet what the deal would be. We need a fair market appraisal first. We have a ball park idea but all of this is sitting upon that and weather or not we can swing it financially. WE could afford a morgage together separately it would be an issue. The house and area are great, repairs shouldn't be more than $5k,we'd cut out the labor and do most of it ourselves. And I would be thrilled to live with him. I;m afraid that going to court and signing papers wouldn't pacify my parents. We wouldn't be "married in the eyes of god"

Goldie,  KD+BC: My only issue with what you have said is I would be paying into the repairs, and if/when we move in I'd be paying into the morgage and I don't think its smart to pay into a house that doesn't have my name on it.

Thanks for all the advice, its giving me things to think about!

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_house-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d9ce766-f8a4-4c10-b95f-eff91f518accPost:2b7c145d-cb37-4960-a233-6610b1f7fe7e">Re: House? (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Jennyp:  We are not engaged, I'm pretty sure he's already bought the ring (we picked it out) and he says I'll get it in January. I'm 22, hes 26. I AM hesitant to buy a house (no matter whos it is) I just really didn't think It was something I'd be doing so soon.  Norway: We don't know yet what the deal would be. We need a fair market appraisal first. We have a ball park idea but all of this is sitting upon that and weather or not we can swing it financially. WE could afford a morgage together separately it would be an issue. The house and area are great, repairs shouldn't be more than $5k,we'd cut out the labor and do most of it ourselves. And I would be thrilled to live with him. I;m afraid that going to court and signing papers wouldn't pacify my parents. We wouldn't be "married in the eyes of god" Goldie,  KD+BC: My only issue with what you have said is I would be paying into the repairs, and if/when we move in I'd be paying into the morgage and I don't think its smart to pay into a house that doesn't have my name on it. Thanks for all the advice, its giving me things to think about!
Posted by lzimm13[/QUOTE]
You should not have to pay for any repairs or anything unless you are actually living in the house.  If you do end up living in the house then you should be paying regardless of whether your name is on the house note or not.  Eventually you are going to have to pay rent, right?  What difference does it make if you are paying towards a home that your bf owns?  <div>
</div><div>Let your bf know that you respect whatever he decides but you don't want any part of the home at the moment.</div>

hetshup

man, I just wrote out a lomg thoughtful reply and it was eaten. Anywho, Will and I do the same thing, I own a house and he has an apartment. Whenever we do things to the house I pay for them, but we work on the house together. Big ticket items wait until we are married, and things that he just has to have ( taller cabinets more closet space etc) either he helps to pay for it, or it waits (i'm short, why do I need taller cabinets?). It can still be "our home", i think you should keep the peace with your family and have the wedding that you and they want. With things like this it's best to have a legal binding commitment before you make a legal binding commitment with regard to property....