Is there a legit way to become ordained online?

B&B1221

My fiance and I both are members of churches that are so large that we don't have a personal relationship with our pastors.  So we have talked about having one of our good friends act as our wedding officiato.  I have looked online, and the sites I have found that say they can do this, look pretty shady.  Is this something that can actually be done?  Joey did it on Friends! :-)

Austin, Texas

tracy_k

It depends on your state laws regarding marriage, but the answer is yes, in most states.

I live in Maryland and got married a month ago. We are not religious, and I did not want to shell out $3-500 for some stranger to marry us (that's what most "official wedding celebrants" cost in our area).

So I asked my good friend's dad (who is a Shakespearean actor and middle-school drama teacher, plus one of the most charming people I've ever met) if he would consider getting ordained online and performing our ceremony. He was thrilled to be asked, he got ordained online via the Universal Life Church.

I also called the Maryland attorney general's office just to make certain it was all perfectly legit (it is).

I wrote our totally secular ceremony, mostly cobbled together from various online sources, and it was beautiful and unique and totally "us." Loved it!

Start by looking up TX laws on marriage, and go from there. It might be helpful to contact the Clerk of the Court in your county (or a JOP if they have those in Texas) and ask about the requirements (but do some research on your own too, the lady I talked to at the clerk's office gave me incorrect info). Good luck!

melarkey

B&B, my best friend is going to marry us. There are tons of places online that will do it for free! You will just have to make sure your friend files with the clerk of courts in the county where you will be married. Best of luck!

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_there-legit-way-become-ordained-online?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:c67cb0b0-9f81-4c60-bb2e-df8b4a64124ePost:6ac4e438-b6dc-41d8-99a1-62d607ae8396">Re: Is there a legit way to become ordained online?</a>:
[QUOTE]B&B, my best friend is going to marry us. There are tons of places online that will do it for free! You will just have to make sure your friend files with the clerk of courts in the county where you will be married. Best of luck!
Posted by melarkey[/QUOTE]

Yes, don't just look up state laws, you need to check if it is ok in the county where you are getting married. In NY, it is ok to have an officiant who was ordained online in some places, but not others.

cdomanta

My best guy friend got ordained for us through the Universal Life Church as well! It's legit and not too time consuming or tricky to do. Once he did that, we looked into the county where we are getting married for additonal information, and it turns out that he didn't need to get ordained at all! We are getting married in Alameda county in California and he just needed to be deputized, which he needed to fill out forms and get things notarized. So it varies from different places so just check to be exact!

aerinpegadrak

Check with both the church and the county.  FI's uncle got ordained through ULC.  Clark County, NV says they don't honor online ordinations, but they approved him to perform the ceremony.  It just meant spending a bit of extra money to get extra paperwork.

2dBride

Do be careful about your state (and local) laws!  The big problem is that in many instances, the status of marriages performed by people ordained online is unclear, so even your local officials cannot tell you definitely whether it is legal or not.  Thus, you would typically find out that it wasn't only when, upon death or divorce, you discovered you did not have the legal rights you thought you did.  At that point, it would be too late to fix the problem.  You might want to check out this article from the New York Times.

A safer alternative, if permitted in your state, might be to have someone appointed as a one-day officiant.  Massachusetts, for example, specifically permits this.

[Deleted User]

You could always have your friend get notarized online. I haven't looked into the ordained thing but my stepdad renewed his notary online through the state website. They send all the info and once the class is done (like 3 hours online) they send a stamp with your name and everything.

tracy_k

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_there-legit-way-become-ordained-online?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:c67cb0b0-9f81-4c60-bb2e-df8b4a64124ePost:129960ed-5632-4573-b0e6-a005572a9498">Re: Is there a legit way to become ordained online?</a>:
[QUOTE]You could always have your friend get notarized online. I haven't looked into the ordained thing but my stepdad renewed his notary online through the state website. They send all the info and once the class is done (like 3 hours online) they send a stamp with your name and everything.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Edited: Only three states (FL, ME, and SC) allow notary publics to perform marriage ceremonies.

B&B1221

Thanks everyone!  I will look into the state, county, and city laws but it seems like it might just be easier to find someone at our church that we feel comfortable enough with.