Hey there. This is my 2nd post on this board. Just signed up today. I did the intro post so all my info is in there. I'll give a little background on my situation and am looking for any and all advice so thanks in advance.
BF and I met in August, moved in together in September, found out we were pregnant in October and lost the baby 10 days after the positive tests. This was a special surprise because I've been told since I was 17 that I couldn't have kids, I am now 30, BF is 35.
We've both been married, he has one child who is 7. We get along great, we only have custody every other weekend so that's no fun, but that's another post for another board.
So in the midst of the baby thing, we decided that we both wanted to get married, he actually brought it up first. Well, that was obviously short lived because of the miscarriage. One of my issues is that we don't even talk about marriage now. BF tells me that we will be married someday, but he takes it seriously (duh, so do I) and that he doesn't want to rush anything because of how hurt he was in his divorce. Both of our divorces were finalized in 2005, and I'm the 2nd serious relationship he's had in that time, I've had one since mine, was engaged, he called if off, again, another post, another board...haha.
So he "says" we'll get married, but after my experience with my ex FI, I have trouble believing him. He hasn't given me any reason not to trust him or believe him , but I think I am SOO jaded as my last engagement was called off 1.5 months before the wedding was supposed to happen.
I know the timeline on our relationship is short, to say the least, but we've talked about it and we both feel like we "just knew" as soon as we met. Cliche as it sounds.
So now after all of this that's happened in a short 5 months, we are planning a vacation to Las Vegas in March. I signed up to receive deal from various places in Vegas as we want to take in a show and one of the emails I got was from a wedding venue. When we talked about a wedding before, we knew we wanted small. Like JOP small then a reception afterwards. We've both done the big wedding before and are "over it" so to speak. Well, we can get married in vegas for $89. Even here in our rural area with the Judge and marriage licence it'd be $180.
So my dilemma is, do I mention this to BF or let it go and just wait. I am 30 and was with my ex FI for 3.5 years waiting, because I didn't want to "push" him and I was blind and actually believed him when he said we'd get married, knowing now that he never had any intention of marrying me.
I know I can't hold current BF accountable for ex being a jerk face, but it just feels so painfully similar I don't know what to do.
I know BF doesn't want to rush, but let's face it, I'm 30 he's 35, I know for most people that's not too old for kids, but I am in a different situation and after seeing that positive sign on the test, I know I want to be a mom (I'd questioned it for a looooong time) and I know I don't have a lot of time to make that happen, safely.
Since we both know we wanted a small wedding and not a ton of people there, what better place than Vegas for $89??? BUT I don't know if I should say something or just let it go? We aren't in a budget place that we can go "back" to Vegas and get married later this year and because of his job his vacation for all of 2011 is already set up, he has a week of in March, when we're going to LV, a week off in May, which we have his child and a week off in September.
When we had the miscarriage, we decided that we would try again in October of this year, give us a year to get married, buy a bigger house and a better car for me to cart around a baby and his 7 year old.
SOOOOO, I'm trusting that he meant it, because we had this convo in front of the OB/GYN and his nurse at my checkup after we lost our baby. I mean, why would he feel the need to share that in front of random people?
I am sorry to ramble on and on. I just don't know if it's worth saying anything or not. I know you don't know him or me IRL so it's really hard to say, but if you were in my shoes, WWYD?
Thanks again and I hope to contribute to the board and not just post whiny ass questions...
I'm not sure if it's possible or not, but if I left anything out, feel free to ask away....
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