So sad... My baby cousin

Ollie08

My mom called this morning and couldn't get me, so she text. She told me to call right away, but not to worry it wasn't either of my grandparents (whose health is deteriorating every day). I finally got to talk to her and it turns out my baby cousin was in a car accident yesterday. He was 21. I really really really really really hope that he wasn't texting while driving.

According to the article he was driving down the highway and drifted off to the shoulder, clipping a utility pole which flipped his 1994 Chevy Blazer. He was wearing a seatbelt and was pronounced dead at the scene.

We weren't that close (heck, we're 1 out of 27 cousins on that side alone), but I was closer to his siblings. I cannot even imagine the pain they must be feeling. I don't care how old you are, no one should ever have to bury a child. I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, I guess just to get it off my chest. What should I do for the family? They live clear across the country in Oregon. At this point I will just keep them in my prayers and pray for peace.

elannis

Aw, I'm so sorry Ollie! I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. And you're right; no one should ever have to bury their child. That's just horrible.

lunarsongbird

Did you cousin have any hobbies or significant interests? You could make a donation to a favorite charity or a chairty related to something he liked...

You could send the donation with a christmas ornament?

Or this Willow Tree figurine: 


Or you can send a bottle of his favorite drink or gift certificate to his favorite restaurant... Although terribly tragic...I'd want to remember your cousin with his favorite things.

cu97tiger

Ollie, I am so very very sorry that your family is going through this. I also have 23 cousins and 13 second cousins and I couldn't imagine this happening to any of them. I like Yaga's idea of sending a snack basket. Or go to someplace like Schwans.com and order them a few meals, it will be one less thing they need to worry about in the coming days.

My prayers are with you and your family... may your cousin rest in peace.

[Deleted User]

Ollie, I'm so sorry. It's terrible to lose a family member, no matter how close you were (or weren't). I'll be keeping you family in my thoughts today. I cannot imagine how his immediate family is feeling today. Only 21...

tafft1

I'm so sorry for your loss Others have made great suggestions in lieu of this tragedy , I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. *hugs*

Ollie08

Thank you all very much for your thoughts and suggestions. They are all wonderful.

Elle1036

Oh Ollie, I'm sorry. How horrible.

karlee4ever

I'm so sorry! I never know what else to say except that I'm sorry your family is going through this. Prayers going up.

Lil B Mama

I'm so sorry to hear this, My heart goes out to you and your family

becunning2

I'm so sorry about this too. It's awful to lose someone so young and so unexpectedly.

I second the sending food thing--if you can manage it from across the country.  Also, write down a few of your favorite memories of your cousin. You can either include them in a card that you send to the family, or you can call the family up to talk and talk about these memories.

bsidebella

That is very sad. FI lost his 21 year old cousin a little more than a year ago in what they thought was a car accident. It was later determined he had a seizure while he was driving and was dead before the car made impact. The worst part was, he had had a seizure only two months prior and was admitted into the hospital. At that point, the hospital is supposed to notify the DMV and the patient's drivers license is suspended for 6 months. Turns out that was never done, and no one took his license away.

If you weren't that close and you cannot go to the funeral, I think a lovely card telling them they are in your thoughts and a fruit basket or edible arrangement would suffice. In Judaism, it's traditional to send food instead of flowers so the family in mourning doesn't have to worry about cooking or finding something to eat.

ravenray

Oh Ollie!  *hugs*  That is so sad and horrible!  I don't really know what to do but you and your family will be in my prayers.

peekaboo2011

Ollie, hugs and lots of love headed towards your family.  I'll keep you all in my thoughts

dwest2201

This is so tragic and sad.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, honey.

I can say from personal experience that losing your sibling is terrible, as my sister passed away when she was 7, I was almost 6 at the time.  However, I am almost certain that losing a child is far worse, I watched my mother (until she passed) struggle with the heartbreak, my dad still does.  I would definitely encourage you to do something to let them (esp his parents) know that you are thinking about them.  The suggestions given before are great...I would add that including a hand written letter with whatever you send really shows that you took the time and care deeply because you didn't just pick some flowers or whatever really quickly, not kncoking flowers, just saying the extra effort doesn't go unnoticed.  I know that I personally still have a whole box of cards and letters from when my mother passed...I reread them sometimes when I'm really missing her.

Swazzle

I am so so sorry Ollie.  That is incredibly heartbreaking.  

I agree with PP who said something food-related.  When my grandfather passed away this summer a lot of people who stopped by brought platters of hoagies & such & we received a lot of baskets with food.  It was really helpful because we didn't have to worry about cooking for a while, just one less thing to worry about. 

Sending t&p to you & your family and big giant hugs to you.