My silly situation (sorry it is a long story)

[Deleted User]

Hello Ladies,

I have to let this out. This past christmas my parents came to visit (I live in Belize) and met my BF. We had talked about getting married and were getting everything planned out. His sister was also suppose to come for Christmas but scheduel didn't work out. So we agreed early 2010 would be the official engagment. Well on christmas day my kid sister got engaged in Canada she confided to my baby sister " Watch I bet H. will go and get engaged now and take away my moment to shine"
 
So BF and I decided that we would wait till she set her date and chose her details of the wedding before making an official announcement this way we would not be accused of taking her spotlight away. This is her second wedding and this will be my first. I am going to be 38 soon and have lots of family, my cousins have said that when I would get married they would be there (even when I was single). We have been planning and decided to get married here on the Island. (Originally I wanted to marry in Tulum as it was cheaper flights for family). Well here we are at the end of April and kid sister still has not set a wedding date.
BF is in Europe right now on business and is back on May 10 a week before my birthday. Bf wants to announce our engagment when he gets back. I am worried about my kid sister.
  Do you guys think it is stupid that I want to wait for her to finalize her plans before we make the announcement. We have the location, band, photographer and caterer ready planned out.  Because of being on q friends private beach we can do it any day. I have looked online for dresses but have not tried any on.
I am not looking at colour themes as I don't want to pick up the same ones as hers.

I am being crazy or should I wait. Originally when sister got engaged she said Feb. of 2011 but now nothing.
Any and all opinions are welcome. Thanks for listening
H.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_silly-situation-sorry-long-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3873ccd8-d9a2-4948-989f-5f7314d4b220Post:5f8d38dc-ff1d-4e76-b448-f065c32a20ba">My silly situation (sorry it is a long story)</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello Ladies, I have to let this out. This past christmas my parents came to visit (I live in Belize) and met my BF. We had talked about and were getting everything planned out. His sister was also suppose to come for Christmas but scheduel didn't work out. So we agreed early 2010 would be the official engagment. Well on christmas day my kid sister got engaged in Canada she confided to my baby sister " Watch I bet H. will go and get engaged now and take away my moment to shine"   So BF and I decided that we would wait till she set her date and chose her details of the wedding before making an official announcement this way we would not be accused of taking her spotlight away. This is her second wedding and this will be my first. I am going to be 38 soon and have lots of family, my cousins have said that when I would get married they would be there (even when I was single). We have been planning and decided to get married here on the Island. (Originally I wanted to marry in Tulum as it was cheaper flights for family). Well here we are at the end of April and kid sister still has not set a wedding date. BF is in Europe right now on business and is back on May 10 a week before my birthday. Bf wants to announce our engagment when he gets back. I am worried about my kid sister.   Do you guys think it is stupid that I want to wait for her to finalize her plans before we make the announcement. We have the location, band, photographer and caterer ready planned out.  Because of being on q friends private beach we can do it any day. I have looked online for dresses but have not tried any on. I am not looking at colour themes as I don't want to pick up the same ones as hers. I am being crazy or should I wait. Originally when sister got engaged she said Feb. of 2011 but now nothing. Any and all opinions are welcome. Thanks for listening H.
Posted by Belize37bride[/QUOTE]


Honestly, I did not read past the 1st paragraph.

Your sister gets <strong>A </strong>wedding day.  She does not get a wedding week, month or year.  She also doesn't get to corner the market on being engaged. 

Announce your engagement whenever you and your boyfriend (fiance?) see fit. 

bajediva

IMO, it's not very often that what other people are/aren't doing should be a significant factor in deciding what *you* do. You and your FH should do what's best for you and your FH. Being concerned about who steals her spotlight will earn her a BSC badge for sure - please don't enable.

katanne9

Yes, I think it's silly. IMO you're feeding into her selfish "me. me, me" attitude. She gets ONE day.


When you are your BF/FI are ready to announce your engagement to everyone you should feel free to do so.

PaigeMcC

You and FI need to do what's right for you.  I can understand not wanting to step on any toes but she gets one day, and you get one day, there is no reason to delay your annoucement. Like Kat said, do what's right for you and FI and don't worry about her. 

loopy82

I think you should announce your engagement whenever you want. You said this is her second wedding. She already had all her attention and what not another time. I wouldn't wait around for her. If she is going to throw a fit she is the one who people will look down upon, not you.

rmbm10607

I think you should have the right to announce your engagement whenever you want!  

For example, my younger sister and I got engaged one week and one day apart from each other!  My FI asked my parents, and one week later her FI did!  My FI asked me and one week and one day later her FI asked her! our weddings are just five months apart!  we are embracing the fact that we can share these moments together, wedding dress shopping and everything!

If you keep waiting until it is "good" for everyone to officially announce your engagement  you maybe waiting a long time!

I wish you the best of luck!

nefariousmango

I agree w/ PPs, go ahead an announce your engagment and start planning.  It's nice that you want to keep her happy, but she's had a wedding, plus your colors should be what you want them to be, not whatever she's not doing.  If she wants different colors, she can change hers.

[Deleted User]

Thank you all so much for making feel better about this.  A friend told me that I had to consider my sister and that it would be better to let her announce everything since she got engaged first. This way I would not look like I was being petty.
So that made me feel worse. But since you guys are either engaged or about to be engaged then you could see it from both sides. 

BTW I don't have the ring yet as I am not big on jewlery. BF is picking it out right now while he is in the UK. However I did get a golf cart because he said he wanted his wife to be able to come and go when she wanted.
Here on the island Golf carts are our main mode of transport.

sapphirebaby926

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_silly-situation-sorry-long-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3873ccd8-d9a2-4948-989f-5f7314d4b220Post:0fb9b4cc-54df-4989-8211-835c86eacc85">Re: My silly situation (sorry it is a long story)</a>:
[QUOTE] Here on the island Golf carts are our main mode of transport.
Posted by Belize37bride[/QUOTE]

I find this really interesting. Also I really want to visit Belize sometime.

oceana919

I'm sorry, but your sister gets one day. ONE. Unless her name is Buttons. Then she gets, like, a month.

Announce your engagement when you and your BF/FI see fit, and enjoy the fun of planning a wedding and sharing your life together. Feel free to come back here anytime, because you seem relatively normal.

See? We're not all evil pirate wenches!!!

Button5807

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_silly-situation-sorry-long-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3873ccd8-d9a2-4948-989f-5f7314d4b220Post:ce99ca6a-a5aa-4962-adb0-e33424f6bfa6">Re: My silly situation (sorry it is a long story)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but your sister gets one day. ONE. Unless her name is Buttons. Then she gets, like, a month.
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

It better not be, I'm totally copyrighting my name! And didn't you read the bio, I get almost 2 years!

paintgirl

Screw her. Do what you want. You've put your own plans on hold too long for someone who acts like a child.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_silly-situation-sorry-long-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3873ccd8-d9a2-4948-989f-5f7314d4b220Post:ee81df4b-7e5f-411c-8bc9-ec336519d818">Re: My silly situation (sorry it is a long story)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My silly situation (sorry it is a long story) : I find this really interesting. Also I really want to visit Belize sometime.
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

Belize is beautiful. The mainland has beautiful jungles, mayan ruins, amazing wildlife. Here on the caye we have spectacular diving and snorkling.

I highly recommend you come down for a visit.  I will even buy you a panti rippa (coconut rum and pineapple juice)