Help me write an email? (Updated below!)

Elle1036

I think most of you know that I work in test prep (ACT, SAT, and some graduate level exams) but I haven't been able to do much of it since moving to MS because none of the companies I've been affiliated with have offices here.

So now my goal is to get my name out in the community here and see if I can start working for myself.  I want to send an email to the counselors at the local high school that basically says that I know a ton of information about the SAT and ACT and if they need somebody to speak with their students or parents about prepping for exams or applying to college, I'll do it for free.

But I'm afraid of sounding too sales-y (even though I'm not selling anything).  Is anyone good at this sort of thing?  Help?

leia1979

I suck at selling myself (which is why I despise cover letters). So I'm not much good at crafting it, but I'm happy to review once you have something.

GoldenPenguin

I would write it almost like a cover letter:

To Whom it May Concern (or their name, if you have it):

I am writing to inquire about the need of your students for SAT and ACT preparation. I recently relocated to (place), after spending XX years working professionally for (XX organization) doing test prep for SAT, ACT and GRE exams. Unfortunately, since my reloaction, I was unable to continue working with (XX organization). However, I would like to use my expertise to help out any students at (XX High School) in preparing to take these exams. I am willing to come meet with any interested students and/or parents about what it takes to prep for these kind of tests, and perhaps connect with students who are interested in getting further assistance.

Feel free to contact me at (phone number) or by email if you think I could be of assistance. I look forward to speaking with you and helping the students of (XX High School) in any way I can!

Thank you,
Elle

Something like that??

Elle1036

Leia - Thanks!  I'll probably come back and post it before I send it.

Bri - Thanks so much.  The only problem I have with that approach is that it's a little too professional.  This is a small-ish southern town and formality is pretty unheard of.  I want to come off more friendly and approachable, if that makes sense?

CCO2012

I would say something kind of like this:

Dear college counselor etc.

My name is Macy and I am a test prep professional specializing in ACT and SAT prep. I recently moved to the area and and until I can find gainful employment (or something to that effect) I am looking to fill some of my time by volunteering my services to area high schools. This is what I can offer.....

Thank you for your time and consideration

Sincerely,
Macy Potter
(123)456-7890
Macypotter@email.com

GoldenPenguin

I shortened what I wrote originally and made it a little less formal, while still keeping the important information (your skills/background/etc). Maybe this is better?

Good afternoon!

I recently relocated to (place), after spending XX years doing test prep for SAT, ACT and GRE exams. Unfortunately, since my reloaction, I was unable to continue this professionally, but I am interested in helping out any students at (XX High School) in preparing to take these exams. I would love to meet with any interested students and/or parents about the tests and other college preparation, and connect with students who would like to get more information.

I look forward to speaking with you and helping the students of (XX High School) in any way I can!

Thank you,
Elle

heyimbren

Here's what I do when I'm emailing publishers for books:

I do some research first and try my very best to personalize the e-mail to them (if possible).

I introduce myself (Hi, I'm Brenna and I'm [insert introductory sentence of what I do here]). I explain my interest and purpose for contacting them. Then I explain my experience/credentials. Finally, I give them my contact information and invite them to contact me if they need anything else.

I'm not sure I'd include the part about being unable to pursue this as a job because of your relocation. It doesn't quite seem pertinent to me. I'm not sure if this will be much help to you because they're different areas, but it works well for me. It took me a while to strike the right balance between personalized and professional, without appearing overly formal but keeping it polished.

Elle1036

Ok, I'm combining CCO's and Bri's ideas.  Does this work?

Hi Mrs. Counselor-lady,

My name is Elle Potter and I'm new to the area.  I just relocated to Hattiesburg from Houston, TX where I worked with Company 1 and Company 2, primarily doing SAT and ACT preparation.

I've really missed working with students since I moved, so I thought I would reach out to you and let you know that, if you should ever need someone to speak your students or parents about college entrance exams, I'm available.  I have done a variety of these presentations, at no cost, in many Texas high schools.  Topics I've used include "The College Admissions Timeline," "SAT vs ACT," and "How to Prepare for my Exam."

Please let me know if this is something that Hattiesburg High needs.  I would be happy to come speak with you in person.

Thank you,

Elle Potter
(contact info)

GoldenPenguin

I like. Professional, and explanatory, but not too formal. Send!

ravenray

I really like it Elle.  Maybe expound a little on your topics like ACT vs SAT which provides thoughtful information to help the students decide which one is right for them and their degree?  Maybe too much but just a thought

Elle1036

Sent!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_write-email?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38d630fc-0495-4b19-b36b-38d148b80c58Post:f8259e24-5f18-4de2-ba39-4404069324f6">Re: Help me write an email?</a>:
[QUOTE]I really like it Elle.  Maybe expound a little on your topics like ACT vs SAT which provides thoughtful information to help the students decide which one is right for them and their degree?  Maybe too much but just a thought :)
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks, Ray.  I wanted to keep this first one short.  Hopefully she'll want to meet me in person and I can talk more about that stuff then.</div>

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_write-email?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38d630fc-0495-4b19-b36b-38d148b80c58Post:acc19c21-cf1c-4c7a-bd03-09ad3f1833d7">Re: Help me write an email?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help me write an email? : Thanks, Ray.  I wanted to keep this first one short.  Hopefully she'll want to meet me in person and I can talk more about that stuff then.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
:)  Ya you are right.  When I think about it more that makes way more sense :)

GoldenPenguin

Yay! Fingers crossed! :-)

CCO2012

Looks good, fingers are crossed!

Blue & White

My SAT prep contract specifically says I can't work elsewhere (doing similar work) for 2 years.  I really need to read the fine print if we ever move.

SAT prep is super fun though   I'd love to take it again and see if I can increase my math to an 800 (I was super close in high school, haha)

leia1979

I'm giving it the LIKE button, Elle. Sounds good to me.

Blue&White - I did really well on verbal and decent on math. I'm sure if I were to take it today I would still do well on verbal but do terribly at math!

lunarsongbird

Elle, this was a GREAT idea! I'm looking forward to hearing if you have any results! Do you have a linkedin account? You may want to try adding some people from the schools to your network!

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_write-email?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:38d630fc-0495-4b19-b36b-38d148b80c58Post:27d88a6a-caf3-4ed1-8ace-698403f8a1e5">Re: Help me write an email?</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, this was a GREAT idea! I'm looking forward to hearing if you have any results! Do you have a linkedin account? You may want to try adding some people from the schools to your network!
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

Good idea, Lunar! I do have a linkedin account, but I haven't used it much. Maybe it's time to start.

Elle1036

Hey guess what, guys! She already wrote me back and she was really excited about my offer. I'm going to meet with her next week! Thanks for the help!!

CCO2012

AWESOME!!!!!!!

Yes, I am that excited for you

GoldenPenguin

That's great!! Congrats!! :-)

Elle1036

Thanks guys!! I'm really excited.

leia1979

Yay Elle! That sounds great!

ravenray

WHOOT!!!  That is AWESOME!!  I am so proud of you!!!