Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

How does "we BOTH give you away" work?

SO my parents are divorced. By the wedding date, they will have been been apart for about 3 years. 

When I got engaged, my mom said her only request was that my dad walk me down the aisle, but "we BOTH give you away."

I haven't been to a lot of weddings, so I don't really know what it means when someone "gives you away". What does that part of the ceremony look like? What words are said? Who stands where? How can I include my mom? 

If you didn't do the "giving away" part -- why? (The phrase rubs me the wrong way...but I want to make my mom happy...)

100% SECULAR ceremony, if that matters. Thanks so much!!
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Re: How does "we BOTH give you away" work?

  • edited May 2012
    From what I know, when you and your father reach end of the aisle before you join your groom, the officiant will ask "Who gives this woman to be married?" and that's when either just the father (or even both parents) will answer "I or We do." If your mother feels strongly about giving you away with your father, when you reach the end of the aisle she can get up from her seat to join you two before the officiant asks the question so she can answer as well. The meaning of giving away the bride comes from an old tradition when girls were given like property to their husbands in arranged marriages. A lot of brides don't really like that so they omit the whole "who gives this woman?" question period and some tweak the wording to say "Who presents or who gives their blessing of this woman to be married?" Personally, I'm going to have both my parents (who are also divorced) present me (mom will join us after we reach the end of the aisle). Hope this helped.
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  • pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's pretty rare these days to have any language about giving the bride away.  I would simply walk down the aisle with both your parents and when you get to the end give them each a kiss at which time they will sit down and the rest of the ceremony can continue. 
  • I believe our words were "Who presents this bride?" because I wasn't fond of the "giving away" either.  

    If you would like both of your parents to do this then walk down the aisle with your dad and when you reach the front have your mom join you and you dad to "give" you away or "present" you.  
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • <div>Yes that helps a lot! Thanks.</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_how-does-we-both-give-you-away-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:c8b181f4-0f22-402e-954e-4bdf34ac0d4aPost:7ea0498e-c27a-48ce-bddb-f33cfc877248">Re: How does "we BOTH give you away" work?</a>:
    [QUOTE]From what I know, when you and your father reach end of the aisle before you join your groom, the officiant will ask "Who gives this woman to be married?" and that's when either just the father (or even both parents) will answer "I or We do." If your mother feels strongly about giving you away with your father, when you reach the end of the aisle she can get up from her seat to join you two before the officiant asks the question so she can answer as well. The meaning of giving away the bride comes from an old tradition when girls were given like property to their husbands in arranged marriages. A lot of brides don't really like that so they omit the whole "who gives this woman?" question period and some tweak the wording to say "Who presents or who gives their blessing of this woman to be married?" Personally, I'm going to have both my parents (who are also divorced) present me (mom will join us after we reach the end of the aisle). Hope this helped.
    Posted by bsims726[/QUOTE]
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  • The JOP could ask,"Who supports this couples decision to marry?"
    All four parents could respond, "I do."
                       
  • This:

    />>when you reach the end of the aisle she can get up from her seat to join you two before the officiant asks the question so she can answer as well.

    And no one uses the language of "who gives this woman" anymore.  It's always "who presents this woman" or "who supports this woman."

    Work with your officiant and see what he/she has planned and what is flexible,etc.
  • We used:  "Who presents this woman to be married?"  and my dad responded "Her mother and I do." 
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  • mbaetembaete member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_how-does-we-both-give-you-away-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:c8b181f4-0f22-402e-954e-4bdf34ac0d4aPost:cffe4022-0987-4ae1-940a-5fe4bdc82b08">Re: How does "we BOTH give you away" work?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This: /> />when you reach the end of the aisle she can get up from her seat to join you two before the officiant asks the question so she can answer as well.<strong> And no one uses the language of "who gives this woman" anymore. </strong> It's always "who presents this woman" or "who supports this woman." Work with your officiant and see what he/she has planned and what is flexible,etc.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]


    I've only ever heard it said this way. strange.
  • as PPs have said he could say "her mother and I do"


    on a side note it always makes me think of the ceremony in Steel Magnolias when the dad says that and everyone laughs cause he pretty much shouts it cause hes deaf from the explosion with the birds LOL
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