I'm thrilled for everyone else, but... (Rant)

stephie25

I'm absolutly thrilled for all of my friends getting married and engaged right now. And I love being a bridesmaid and celebrating with them. Just found out yet another friend is engaged. Am I allowed to be a little bummed that after 3 years I'm still waiting and fairly sure I'll be waiting at least two more years?

Sorry for the whiny post, but all the rain here and my cold certainly arn't helping my mood any today...

ekathleen684

I know how you feel, especially when all of your friends have been dating their SO's for under a year and you and your BF have been together 3+ years..It does suck. Now said friends are having babies and BF and I are still where we were 2 years ago except with 2 more years under our belts.
When it gets me down I ttry to think about the positives of why were not married/engaged/pregnant, etc.. We're still in school, we will be financially stable when we do finally decide to get married and won't have to live in a house our parents are paying for/also live in. We can travel and don't have to worry about a babysitter or bringing a baby with us and everything we'd need for him or her. We went to visit our friend the other night who just had his baby and it made me realize that if we had a baby/mortgage/ upcoming wedding, we wouldn't be able to go on vacations at the drop of a hat.

Sorry if this is a ramble, I'd kind of freaking out at the fact that I just did my homework for a class and sent it in under BF's email and there is no way to retract it...FAIL.

notquiteblushing

I get being frustrated but if you think you're ready to get engaged/married it shouldn't just be up to your BF to set a timeline.  Talk to him about how you feel and agree on a plan together.  A lot of people are suprised by the details of a proposal but not the idea of moving forward in a relationship.  That should be a mutual decision.  Good luck!

bakes218

All but one of my friends are married and starting to have kids. It is so frustrating especially when people are asking me all the time, "When are you two getting married?" We have been together for 6 years. For me, other people make it a bigger deal. Just be happy with what you have right now. Life is too short and you should feel lucky you have the relationship you do.

I have to keep reminding myself the same thing too!

hetshup

I think of it as, I got to steal all those ideas, I know what does and doesn't work because I was in the crowd that critiqued the wedding. And I get to ask those friends all those details that I have no idea what I'm doing about.

PS my grammar is off today, sorry.

katanne9

Was totally in this place last summer. Totally understand. Try not to wallow in it too much. You'll only make yourself feel awful, and your BF will feel awful too.

Plus, when it's your turn, they'll all be wedding-nostalgic and be super pumped for yours.

In summary: there's a time for everyone. Be glad you're with the man you want to marry. And patience is a good thing too.

StephB1185

I hear ya girl!  I've been with my BF for 3 years (well, 3 years on Thursday AHH!!) and we've been to ALOT of weddings in the past 2 years.  Everytime we hear about a friends engagement I get into a little funk - because, yea, it stinks to want it so badly (and KNOW that it's going to happen EVENTUALLY) but it not happen quite yet.  My BF recognizes the little funk but is quick to snap me out and remind me that nobody is (not should be) on the same timeline and that he is being careful that neither of us is rushing for rushing sake.
Just know it'll eventually happen, and when it does - it's the right time!  EVERYONE is on a different timeline and that's okay!   I agree with Kathleen - you'll be in the honeymoon phase when they're in the 'terrible twos' phase and you get to use all of their wisdom someday!

hetshup - i love that way of thinking - it's what I try to tell myself - I can just recruit their help once I need it! :-D

sapphirebaby926

I know how you feel - a couple years ago several of my friends got engaged and I felt left out. It sucked at the time but looking back I'm really glad we waited. Now that people are having kids I'm in this place again - my SIL is pregnant and one of our good friends just found out they were pregnant so I'm really feeling the baby fever right now. We would be trying to have kids if we felt we were in a financially stable position but since I haven't found a job and there's a possibility I'll be in school for the next 2 years it just isn't a good idea for us right now *sigh*

613linder83

I know how you feel. It's rough but at the same time it's so great to know that I'm spending this time with the man I want to marry! We're committed are planning a life together and it's so exciting to experience it. We have been together for 5 years living together for 3 years and are living now. He will be returning to school for a year next year so it will take time to get established again after that happens so I know I'm looking at two years. Whenever I get the marriage/wedding urge I come on here and live it up but most of the time it's just nice to experience the life we have

stephie25

I am greatful to have him, and I know I have to practice a little more patience. He's wonderful and I'm willing to wait. It just makes me sad sometimes that I get to go through it with everyone else and be so close and know my turn won't be for a while. I'll just have to wait a bit longer to be his wife

cdipaolo

I am with you Steph, I've been unemployed since the end of 2008 and I have gone through the weddings, babies and friends that have gotten promotions even prior to 2008, all the while I am going back to school and working part time jobs. I can't tell you how stressful it is to just want something to happen. All I can say is hang in there and talk to each other about how you are feeling. It helps. I couldn't get through this time without him and I am being told there will be a proposal soon :-)