Not Engaged Yet

Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....

Okay so several people have been beebee crowned by the board late.  I've said things, engaged girl have said things, and married girls have said things.  Good advice.  The thing with this board is that it's all about staying cool and preventing a wave of BSC and bridezilla infection.  (And fun, and cake, and much more, but that's for later.) 

The thing is, this is the internet.  It's unfair.  If we give good advice, there's no way we expect people to follow it unfalteringly.  You are entitled to resent, disagree, accept, reject, or ignore the combined wisdom of the board.  However, if you get defensive or beebee, you've put yourself out in a public forum and we're entitled to voice our opinion.  Therefore, if for any reason you aren't really clicking with this group for your needs, there are many boards and many websites that might be a good fit.  I'm not telling anyone to leave, so don't PM me flamethrower drawn.  I'm not pointing anyone out, just voicing MHO.  How am I to know what needs you have? 

On the other hand, this board is like a collection of new friends that I feel like I've known a lot longer.  It's helping me to keep my head on straight when I know I'll be entering a new stage in my relationship (though this is the 2nd time for me).  For me, NYE is being close to an engagement (like him saying within a year) and focusing on your excitement and cherishing the natural emotion high of knowing that you have found your mate and getting ready to shout "We're getting MARRIED" from your soapbox/fb page/office swivel chair/back of your unicorn.  And knowing he feels the same.  :)


<3 awww I think Jeana's pictures just made me all dreamy and such.
Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"

Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011


    Well said.

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    Oh and to have a solid group of friends in all stages of life to go through all these transition with is a pretty flippin sweet benefit of the internets
    Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"
  • edited December 2011
    I love the internets!

    This post is pretty awesome. It's so awesome, it may even be 1337.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:7923916d-bd4b-4bcb-99bd-4da1fd0418ba">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love the internets! This post is pretty awesome. It's so awesome, it may even be 1337.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    Awww thanks jeana!!  This board is pretty 1337.  />^_^<
    Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think we need to know what that PM said. 


    And very well said!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    I'm afraid to stand up on rolly chairs.  I just keep invisioning slipping and hitting my mouth on my desk and knocking my teeth out.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Oh I like you :)

    ps. Who PMed and what did it say?

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • edited December 2011
    You are so right!  Perhaps there should be two boards - "Not Yet Engaged But In An Adult Relationship" and "High Schoolers Who Plan Behind Their Boyfriends' Backs"

    Thing is, I have so many emotions about this whole process, but you can't really go to your girlfriends every day and say, "I think he's going to propose soon!" First, then if he doesn't propose soon you look sort of silly, and second it feels like it should be somewhat of a personal thing.  So I don't go talking to all my girlfriends about this stage of our relationship because a) most of them aren't at this stage, and b) I'd drive them nuts by the time I'm actually engaged and then they won't be there to say "wedding, wedding, wedding" to when I get engaged!

    So I have you ladies to go to, and we all are in mostly the same stage or have been there before.  So it's nice!  I can come on here, get my minor dose of BSC, think about weddings, get reined in if I'm and then put it aside.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:799877f7-e465-47b9-965e-dda9d1e19180">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are so right!  Perhaps there should be two boards - "Not Yet Engaged But In An Adult Relationship" and "High Schoolers Who Plan Behind Their Boyfriends' Backs" Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

    Seconding this.

    I have no problem with newbs coming on here. There's been a few board newbs as of late (OP included) that seem level-headed and sane and I like hearing what they have to say. I have a problem with teenyboppers planning their entire weddings behind their BF's backs or calling people uppity bitches for deining to disagree with their thought process, and I have no qualms about expressing my opinions when I come across that kind of poster.

    If you come on here and you're nice and sane and show some degree of genuine maturity and insight, you tend to stick around and get a good reception from the women who frequent this board. I consider quite a few girls off this board true friends - y'all are lovely, intelligent, sweet, hilarious women who I'm lucky to know.  

    Frankly, if someone pops on here and throws a hissy fit and doesn't like us for whatever reason, I personally feel they can stick it where the sun don't shine.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:c49a53da-0264-43c8-be06-9b259afa7f4a">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm afraid to stand up on rolly chairs.  I just keep invisioning slipping and hitting my mouth on my desk and knocking my teeth out.
    Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>LOL Narwhal, you have such a nice smile that would be so tragic.  Stick to a mountain or yelling out an open car window then honey.  <3</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>[QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">I think we need to know what that PM said. <div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">And very well said!</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
    </div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Thanks, and no worries, the PM comment was a preemptive strike strategy to avoid someone getting all huffy with me cuz there's enough drama on the board without getting all up in my grill with displaced emotions.  I have an arsenal of comebacks from gradeschool that would probably embarrass me in a PM blitz, so I'm going to stick to my current game plan.  Move one - don't PO Mutley... you don't mess with Mama.</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
    </div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Oceana I believe we will be good friends.  And you know what, its the internet.  You are entitled to that opinion.  Get'em girl.</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
    </div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Catemeg - I second your motion and raise you removing the "you've planned the dress and picked flowers but no ring" tagline on the main forum page.  I know the first time I was engaged, I was young and stupid and such a clown compared to now.  Life, a full time job, and bills tend to rapidly change your point of view.  It's nice to hear from others that there's a light at the end of the tunnel when you feel like you're alone in this situation.  I want to make this work and last a lifetime, not die off as soon as the party hats come off.</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
    </div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">If the board tells me I'm headed to BSCtown, I'll take it with some humility and learn from you wonderfully snarky, smart, and spunky new friends.   Hopefully you guys won't have to whoop my @s$ too badly.</div></span>
    </div>
    Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I knew I liked you. So well said <3
    Photobucket Anniversary www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:2bc4c5f2-9e1e-4825-bdc6-e85911850314">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]removing the "you've planned the dress and picked flowers but no ring" tagline on the main forum page. 
    Posted by 1337love[/QUOTE]

    I was just thinking that the other day. I sure wish changing the tagline was within my moderator powers. But, alas!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    oh I know... it's our ideal version.  Like we could convince the BSC teenybopper girls to stay on the other board.
    Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"
  • HurrahHurrah member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    To me, the excitement of this board is being able to follow other ladies (and "friends") all the way through the process... from the excitement of the proposal to the joy of the wedding day.  I look forward to "being there" with you ladies through it all!
    If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always change.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:c49a53da-0264-43c8-be06-9b259afa7f4a">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm afraid to stand up on rolly chairs.  I just keep invisioning slipping and hitting my mouth on my desk and knocking my teeth out.
    Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

    Me too. I'm scurred and would like all of my teeth..especially the front ones.

    Well said and WHERE ARE JEANA'S PICTURES?!?! I WANT TO SEEE!
    imageimageimageimage
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:fe375e8d-ae2b-4f21-8085-aa1274836bc0">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh I know... it's our ideal version.  Like we could convince the BSC teenybopper girls to stay on the other board.
    Posted by 1337love[/QUOTE]

    ...or can we just thumbtack a post entitled "Post all your BSC/beebee crap here" tol the board?

    1337 - yeah, I think we're going to get to be good friends too :)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • edited December 2011
    ekath, check the "Mrs Josh" thread.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks! I was wondering how I could miss such a thing in an afternoon.

    EDIT:: You looked amazing!!! Call me a big sap but I teared a bit. I love that someone got a pic of Josh as you were walking down the aisle. I was just talking about that with my coworker who is getting married next week. He said everyone looks at the bride but I always look at the grooms reaction. He won't see his FI until she walks down the aisle and I know Josh saw you beforehand but I still love those pics.
    imageimageimageimage
  • edited December 2011
    Just wanted to say that I really loved this post... 

    As a noob here, I've been trying to find my way "in" without being tagged BSC, and am finding it rather difficult.  I tend to lurk more than I post, mostly out of intimidation, but I do really enjoy reading what most of you have to say. 

    At any rate, I think it's wonderful to have somewhat of a support system for people that are in the same place in their lives (i.e. mature, adult relationships that could potentially be moving to the next phase sometime in the foreseeable future).  I agree with what Cate said about not really being able to go to your girlfriends about this kind of thing and the emotions that come with it. 
  • edited December 2011
    Genji, I don't believe you've struck a BSC vibe yet.  If you're in an adult relationship and haven't bought a dress before being engaged, I think you're more than welcome to post and join in!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, I agree. We really aren't that bad.  We just don't like it when the first post is all looney and then they get pissed off when we tell them to cool their jets a little.

    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    genj, you sound fine to me. The key is-- you CAN have BSC moments. Everyone has them. I've had them. I had a full-on meltdown about the color of the groomsmen vests.

    Not even Mutley flamed me on that. Everyone was really understanding and assured me that things were going to be fine and it wasn't that important. They did that because I said at the very beginning of the post that I needed to be talked down and I knew I was having a crazy moment.

    Be yourself. Don't take it personally if some responses are blunt. Be gracious about the advice you receive, even if you disagree. Heck, you can even respectfully say you disagree.

    But if you feel like a crazy woman, TELL US. We can help you without jumping all over you. We just need to know that you know you're not being altogether sane. Wink
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Aww, thanks everyone!  Trust me, I can be very honest about my crazy moments.  I will be sure to warn you all if I feel myself spinning into one of them :)

    BTW, Jeana, Congratulations!
  • edited December 2011

    and awww Gen, you seem just fine.  I'm probably going to have a BSC post at some point, jeana.

    And woooo for non-loonie posts!


    Narwhal, you are so cute *give you cookie.*

    Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do. --Madeleine L'Engle in "A Wind in the Door"
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the congrats!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Teehee. I like you, 1337.
    Anniversary
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Genji-- As long as you preface your BSC with " please slap some sense into me", its juuuuuust fine. Other suitable options are : I'm a brat,  or I'm loonytoons ignore me
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regarding-bsc-nye-means?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:42ca99e1-9181-4b49-873d-9fc1eae96d6cPost:120c7cfd-621f-49b1-86a0-faf5d7bb55c1">Re: Regarding the BSC and what NYE means to you....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Genji-- <strong>As long as you preface your BSC with " please slap some sense into me", its juuuuuust fine. Other suitable options are : I'm a brat,  or I'm loonytoons ignore me
    </strong>Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]


    Noted... Thank you :)
  • Goff2010Goff2010 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I have been out of the loop with all the wedding lingo. Could somebody help me out here? 
        BSC, OP, etc?
    Apparently, I have been fairly sheltered throughout my engagement as this is all news to me. Thanks :).
  • edited December 2011
    OP= Original Poster
    BSC =Bat Sh*t Crazy

    There was a thread full of all the acronyms I thought it was going to be made a sticky... but I don't think it was.   Perhaps someone else has it or I will look it up later.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards