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Late-in-the-game proposals?

Hi ladies. I've got a question, particularly for the women who dated/ have been dating their SOs for a significant amount of time before getting engaged.  I've been really bad about not posting, although I lurk a lot, so for those who don't remember me here's a quick recap of my relationship: BF and I have been together 5.5 years, we've lived together for 3 years, we're both 25, and we live in Italy (which is his home country, I'm from AL).

So my question arises from some concerns I've been having lately... BF and I have talked about a timeline and see ourselves getting married in late 2012 or early 2013. I don't know exactly when the proposal is coming, since he wants it to be a surprise. But the more time passes and the more friends I watch get engaged, the more I think maybe we're past that stage and a proposal would be silly. I mean, we're been living practically as a married couple, minus the legal stuff, for years now. A proposal seems more appropriate for a couple that is in an earlier stage of their relationship, where a the man asking for the woman's hand in marriage actually means something... at this point BF doesn't need to ask me, we both already know the answer. It almost feels like we'd be going through a ritual just because it's what I've always imagined and wanted, even if it's not really necessary anymore.

I know my engagement and marriage would be just as valid without a proposal. I feel torn- part of me really wants the elaborate proposal I've always dreamed of, but the more practical side says to just let it go, we're past that. BF just wants to make me happy, either way.

I guess my question is, has anybody else felt this way about a proposal? If so, what conclusions did you come to? Any words of encouragement or advice, or even flames are appreciated!

Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?

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    edited December 2011
    I have felt this way at one point.  All of our friends and family see us as married already so for a little while I had a problem with even having a proposal at all.  Then I didn't let their words get to me anymore and i thought about what I really wanted, which is a proposal. 

    I promise that no matter how "married" you seem, everyone will be excited about you being engaged! If I were you, I would be more concerned with comments of "finally!".  I know that my family will give me comments like that because they have moved on from pushing me to get married to pushing me to have kids!

    It's your relationship and it is going to move at your own pace, remember that when you feel like a proposal is arbitrary.  You deserve a dream proposal, no matter how long you have been dating.
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    edited December 2011
    I can't 100% relate.  FI proposed 6 weeks shy of our 3 year anniversary.  But I will say this...you might regret robbing yourself of the experience because you feel like it's a formality.

    FI and I lived together before he proposed.  We had discussed marriage.  He even asked me, "So, uh, if I proposed, you'd say yes, right?"  So, he knew the answer going into it too.  We wouldn't have needed a formal proposal to know it was in our hearts or to plan a wedding.  But the experience is very special...and you only get one.

    Regardless of the fact that I knew it was coming soon and I knew he had the ring, I still cried when he proposed.  He cried too.  It was very special and romantic...and I couldn't stop smiling for days.  I really, really think you'd ultimately regret robbing yourself of that experience.
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    edited December 2011
    Levi: Thanks for the encouragement!

    amsybot: Your words really helped a lot, and it's good to know someone else has been there.
    [QUOTE]It's your relationship and it is going to move at your own pace, remember that when you feel like a proposal is arbitrary.  You deserve a dream proposal, no matter how long you have been dating.
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]

    This will be my mantra from now on :)
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    OP I have been feeling the exact same way lately. BF & I have been together for 4 years & living together for 3.5.  I've been thinking to myself lately what's the big deal? We can go pick the ring together & then poof we're engaged. But after reading Shoes' response, honestly, now I'm thinking I want the big "Rachel, will you marry me?" She's right, you only get it once & even if you (we) know it's coming it's something you won't ever forget for the rest of your life. 



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    edited December 2011
    Shoes: Again, good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way, and thanks for the advice. I think deep down I know I'd be robbing myself of something that means a lot to me. This is all probably coming from the fact that I just saw yet another high school friend get engaged and I read the proposal story... seeing the excitement of this couple that's been together a fraction of the time I've been with BF just got me thinking that maybe our relationship is "too old" for a proposal. Or even that I don't deserve one at this point. But that's probably the jealousy talking. I have since opened a very large bar of chocolate, as chocolate makes everything better.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:92683221-ec5a-47fe-9e1e-539f40c4a007">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP I have been feeling the exact same way lately. BF & I have been together for 4 years & living together for 3.5.  I've been thinking to myself lately what's the big deal? We can go pick the ring together & then poof we're engaged. But after reading Shoes' response, honestly, now I'm thinking I want the big "Rachel, will you marry me?" She's right, you only get it once & even if you (we) know it's coming it's something you won't ever forget for the rest of your life. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    Yep, shoes is wise. Glad I posted here today, you ladies are great with advice!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:451b8067-c84d-4974-a7ef-64a23424cccb">Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies. I've got a question, particularly for the women who dated/ have been dating their SOs for a significant amount of time before getting engaged.  I've been really bad about not posting, although I lurk a lot, so for those who don't remember me here's a quick recap of my relationship: BF and I have been together 5.5 years, we've lived together for 3 years, we're both 25, and we live in Italy (which is his home country, I'm from AL). So my question arises from some concerns I've been having lately... BF and I have talked about a timeline and see ourselves getting married in late 2012 or early 2013. I don't know exactly when the proposal is coming, since he wants it to be a surprise. But the more time passes and the more friends I watch get engaged, the more I think maybe we're past that stage and a proposal would be silly. I mean, we're been living practically as a married couple, minus the legal stuff, for years now. A proposal seems more appropriate for a couple that is in an earlier stage of their relationship, where a the man asking for the woman's hand in marriage actually means something... at this point BF doesn't need to ask me, we both already know the answer. It almost feels like we'd be going through a ritual just because it's what I've always imagined and wanted, even if it's not really necessary anymore. I know my engagement and marriage would be just as valid without a proposal. I feel torn- part of me really wants the elaborate proposal I've always dreamed of, but the more practical side says to just let it go, we're past that. BF just wants to make me happy, either way. I guess my question is, has anybody else felt this way about a proposal? If so, what conclusions did you come to? Any words of encouragement or advice, or even flames are appreciated!
    Posted by Daisy125[/QUOTE]

    BF and I have been together for almost 7 years and we're still not engaged.  I don't consider us engaged because he has not proposed.  There must be some reason that he hasn't been ready to propose to you as of yet, therefore a proposal would be his way of saying "now I'm ready".  I don't think there is a certain amount of time in which a proposal isn't necessary. 

    Last year I sorta felt like I'd rather him just go buy a ring so we can have a shotgun wedding because I was tired of everyone else around me (most of our best friends) getting married.  I got a little BSC and wanted to jump straight to the wedding because I just couldn't hold my horses any longer.  Needless to say, I came back down to earth and stopped all of that.

    Do you know why he is holding out still? There must be some reason he hasn't been able to make that committment, whether it's money, relationship problems, or anything else. 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:17aca4b2-4371-4feb-b852-b169901826ca">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Shoes: Again, good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way, and thanks for the advice. I think deep down I know I'd be robbing myself of something that means a lot to me. This is all probably coming from the fact that I just saw yet another high school friend get engaged and I read the proposal story... <strong>seeing the excitement of this couple that's been together a fraction of the time </strong>I've been with BF just got me thinking that maybe our relationship is "too old" for a proposal. Or even that I don't deserve one at this point. But that's probably the jealousy talking. I have since opened a very large bar of chocolate, as chocolate makes everything better.
    Posted by Daisy125[/QUOTE]

    <rant /> Not gonna lie, this is the thing that gets me the most.  And everyone asking us EVERY time we see them "So when are you going to get married?" or "When are you guys having kids, he's getting older you know".

    I feel like if it weren't for other people, I wouldn't even care about not being engaged.  I just want everyone to stop asking me and I want to stop being jealous of everyone else's rings and wedding planning. And babies. </rant />
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:89a089e3-22b9-481d-9502-bb0282e85d11">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : <rant /> Not gonna lie, this is the thing that gets me the most.  And everyone asking us EVERY time we see them "So when are you going to get married?" or "When are you guys having kids, he's getting older you know". I feel like if it weren't for other people, I wouldn't even care about not being engaged.  I just want everyone to stop asking me and I want to stop being jealous of everyone else's rings and wedding planning. And babies. </rant />
    Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>My personal favorite when my friend got engaged last year: "I always thought you'd be first!" </div>



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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:76fec318-9bc5-463e-b322-e1321897cae0">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : My personal favorite when my friend got engaged last year: "I always thought you'd be first!" 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would've said..."I know!  I always thought you'd be skinniest!  I guess life really IS full of surprises."</div>
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    edited December 2011
    we're high school sweethearts. dating 11 years! 11!
    we've been living together for 3 glorious years and i started to feel the same way you did. can't tell you how many times i planned a proposal to him but didn't follow through because i knew he really wanted to propose to me.
    we got engaged 2 weeks ago. it was wonderful. the moment is totally worth the wait.
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:7aa1d61b-62d4-49e7-b75e-847ea9a76dd0">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : I would've said..."I know!  I always thought you'd be skinniest!  I guess life really IS full of surprises."
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    <div>She's skinnier than me too waaahhhhhh <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cry.gif" border="0" alt="Cry" title="Cry" />  hahaha i wish she wasn't though, that would have been perfection </div>



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    SKP82SKP82 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:451b8067-c84d-4974-a7ef-64a23424cccb">Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies. I've got a question, particularly for the women who dated/ have been dating their SOs for a significant amount of time before getting engaged.  I've been really bad about not posting, although I lurk a lot, so for those who don't remember me here's a quick recap of my relationship: BF and I have been together 5.5 years, we've lived together for 3 years, we're both 25, and we live in Italy (which is his home country, I'm from AL). So my question arises from some concerns I've been having lately... BF and I have talked about a timeline and see ourselves getting married in late 2012 or early 2013. I don't know exactly when the proposal is coming, since he wants it to be a surprise. But the more time passes and the more friends I watch get engaged, the more I think maybe we're past that stage and a proposal would be silly. I mean, we're been living practically as a married couple, minus the legal stuff, for years now. A proposal seems more appropriate for a couple that is in an earlier stage of their relationship, where a the man asking for the woman's hand in marriage actually means something... at this point BF doesn't need to ask me, we both already know the answer. It almost feels like we'd be going through a ritual just because it's what I've always imagined and wanted, even if it's not really necessary anymore. I know my engagement and marriage would be just as valid without a proposal. I feel torn- part of me really wants the elaborate proposal I've always dreamed of, but the more practical side says to just let it go, we're past that. BF just wants to make me happy, either way. <strong>I guess my question is, has anybody else felt this way about a proposal?</strong> If so, what conclusions did you come to? Any words of encouragement or advice, or even flames are appreciated!
    Posted by Daisy125[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely not!  My BF and I have been together almost 7 1/2 years and lived together for almost 2.  I definitely want a proposal because it's important to me that he ask me to marry him, even though we both know what the answer will be.

    If it's important to you, you shouldn't invalidate that.  It is completely acceptable to have a proposal/engagement even though you've lived together for awhile.

    Edited for spelling.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:7aa1d61b-62d4-49e7-b75e-847ea9a76dd0">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : I would've said..."I know!  I always thought you'd be skinniest!  I guess life really IS full of surprises."
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    This is where The Knot Like Button would come in handy.
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011



    Here you go Tonk!

    OP - Don't think of the proposal as a formality. It's the official closing of one door (dating) and the opening of another (engagement). This is a big step no matter how long you've been with your BF (I've been w/ my BF for just short of 3 years, living together for 2). 

    So, tell us what it's like to live in Italy as an American? I keep trying to convince my BF that we should move to Germany some day (he speaks fluent German).
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:77e9acad-a070-42e1-8dbc-7ab41bdcc0af">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Do you know why he is holding out still? There must be some reason he hasn't been able to make that committment, whether it's money, relationship problems, or anything else. 
    Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]

    We have good communication about this, and he is ready. He's been ready for over a year now, the timing just hasn't been right to get engaged (for both of us) for various reasons.We're both ready now though, hence the tentative timeline. It was just me having doubts about whether a proposal would be right for us, but now I'm thinking that it really does mean a lot to me. And BF is on board with whatever makes me happy (proposals aren't really part of his culture, peope generally just decide to get married and then plan the wedding in like 3 months... but he's cool with a more "American style" engagement).
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:34c23e4f-5702-4998-9fc2-034ab400b1c3">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here you go Tonk! OP - Don't think of the proposal as a formality. It's the official closing of one door (dating) and the opening of another (engagement). This is a big step no matter how long you've been with your BF (I've been w/ my BF for just short of 3 years, living together for 2).  So, tell us what it's like to live in Italy as an American? I keep trying to convincince my BF that we should move to Germany some day (he speaks fluent German).
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, that's a good way to look at it!

    Living in Italy is interesting to say the least. Some days I love it, and some days I can't stand the place. The hardest part is being so far from my family and the life I had. I never realized how much I would miss Alabama, even with all its faults. In Italy there's a very casual I'll-get-to-it-later attitude about everything, which I used to think was charming but now it just grates on my nerves how nothing is ever on time. Americans are very used to structure, and Italy's lack of structure will kind of blow your mind, in a bad way, if you live here long enough. You shouldn't have that problem in Germany though, Germany is ultra structured.

    The good aspects of Italy, however, seen to outweigh the bad most of the time. The food is AMAZING. I'm lucky my job requires me to walk several miles a day otherwise I'd be 3 times the size I am now. I eat either pasta, pizza, or gelato (or some combination of the three) literally every day. The country is chock-full of gorgeous art, and since I was an art major I can't get enough of it. And the landscape really is as breathtaking as it is in the movies. Especially at sunset, everything turns kind of golden and it's like being in another world.

    So, yeah, Italy is pretty cool... but if it was a few thousand miles closer to Alabama it would be a lot better.

    Oh, and major kudos to your BF for being fluent in German. I fail at languages... after a year and a half my Italian is still pretty sucky IMO but I try.
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    lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are there pretty fireflies?

    What has been your all time favorite moment in Italy?
    Do you have any pictures to share?
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:97c4cef2-3d87-4eb2-8e2e-f47f36535b1a">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are there pretty fireflies? What has been your all time favorite moment in Italy? Do you have any pictures to share?
    Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

    Hmmm... never noticed fireflies here. BF says there are some though. I miss the pretty ones back in AL.

    My favorite moment is easy... It was my first trip to Italy, 5 years ago. On the first night BF and I woke up at like 3am because of jet lag and decided to go into the city center. We saw lots of sites that blew me away- imagine turning a corner and seeing the Colosseum for the first time, all lit up at night. Just as the sun was rising and I was ready to head back to bed, BF told me to climb one last hill with him. It was steep and I was tired, but I drudged along anyway. When we got to the top, I realized it was the Capitoline Hill, the square designed by Michelangelo that I had studied in Art History the semester before. I majorly geeked out. BF took me to a terrace and we watched the sun rise over the Roman Forum, ringing in my first official day in Rome. It's one of my favorite memories of my whole life.

    I would post pics but I forgot how... help?
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    edited December 2011
    I'm only at 4 years with BF, and we aren't living together.  But I think it's our personalities that makes a proposal not make any sense, not the amount of time we have been/will be dating. 
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    SKP82SKP82 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:574253d2-8b45-4006-924a-162575838685">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : Hmmm... never noticed fireflies here. BF says there are some though. I miss the pretty ones back in AL. My favorite moment is easy... It was my first trip to Italy, 5 years ago. On the first night BF and I woke up at like 3am because of jet lag and decided to go into the city center. We saw lots of sites that blew me away- imagine turning a corner and seeing the Colosseum for the first time, all lit up at night. Just as the sun was rising and I was ready to head back to bed, BF told me to climb one last hill with him. It was steep and I was tired, but I drudged along anyway. When we got to the top, I realized it was the Capitoline Hill, the square designed by Michelangelo that I had studied in Art History the semester before. I majorly geeked out. BF took me to a terrace and we watched the sun rise over the Roman Forum, ringing in my first official day in Rome. It's one of my favorite memories of my whole life. I would post pics but I forgot how... help?
    Posted by Daisy125[/QUOTE]

    This sounds ah-maz-ing.

    Rome is gorgeous.  I want to go back.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
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    edited December 2011
    I think iregardless of how long you have been togethet if you want a formal proposal there is no reason not to have one or not have that experience.  You ahve to go with what works best for you both and makes you both happy about taking that next step.     

    Anniversary

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    edited December 2011
    I always expected that BF wouldn't want a big proposal, and I was completely fine with that.  I figured he'd just turn to me one day, say "So you wanna?" and I'd follow up with "Sure, why not?"  That's just sort of how we are.

    But now that we're seriously talking about it, he's turned into this strange, dedicated-to-a-good-proposal guy.  He's even going to talk to my Dad, which isn't something either of us (Dad or I) thought he would do.  I told him he really didn't have to, and he vehemently said, "No, I'm going to talk to your father!  That's how you do these things!"  It's really cute, actually.

    That said...I don't think you're ever too old, or have been dating too long, to be proposed to.  Just enjoy it!
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    edited December 2011
    I just want to toss it out there, and for the record I know I am simplifying the matter and that this is also a huge generalization. It could very well be a cultural thing. I think that many Europeans tend to date longer before getting married. FI and I dated for 5 years before getting engaged, we will be married after about 6.5 years of dating. It's taken many of his friends much longer.

    That being said, patience is a virtue. Just breathe... relax, and enjoy what you have :-)

    image
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:1882a802-849e-41a5-aaee-08b1f8490b11">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just want to toss it out there, and for the record I know I am simplifying the matter and that this is also a huge generalization. It could very well be a cultural thing. I think that many Europeans tend to date longer before getting married. FI and I dated for 5 years before getting engaged, we will be married after about 6.5 years of dating. It's taken many of his friends much longer. That being said, patience is a virtue. Just breathe... relax, and enjoy what you have :-)
    Posted by musikbx[/QUOTE]


    I know I'm late replying to this, the time difference throws off my knotting schedule. I just wanted to say this is absolutely part of  the reason we've waited so long. Italians, and most Europeans in general, wait til they're in their 30s to start thinking about marriage. Back where I'm from, most of my friends got married in their early 20s (some at like 19). So we're making a pretty good compromise I think. If we'd decided to get married at 22 we would have gotten worse than the side eye from his family. So, yeah, culture has a lot to do with it. 
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_late-game-proposals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:47c25fbb-6d2f-483a-a489-046f307d5592Post:574253d2-8b45-4006-924a-162575838685">Re: Late-in-the-game proposals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Late-in-the-game proposals? : Hmmm... never noticed fireflies here. BF says there are some though. I miss the pretty ones back in AL. My favorite moment is easy... It was my first trip to Italy, 5 years ago. On the first night BF and I woke up at like 3am because of jet lag and decided to go into the city center. We saw lots of sites that blew me away- imagine turning a corner and seeing the Colosseum for the first time, all lit up at night. Just as the sun was rising and I was ready to head back to bed, BF told me to climb one last hill with him. It was steep and I was tired, but I drudged along anyway. When we got to the top, I realized it was the Capitoline Hill, the square designed by Michelangelo that I had studied in Art History the semester before. I majorly geeked out. BF took me to a terrace and we watched the sun rise over the Roman Forum, ringing in my first official day in Rome. It's one of my favorite memories of my whole life. I would post pics but I forgot how... help?
    Posted by Daisy125[/QUOTE]




    Gahhhh... You just made me totally geek out! My travel bug is pretty chronic, but I'm unemployed and thus trying to curb my wanderlust. Darn you!!!

    For what it's worth, I think a proposal is unnecessary for most coup,es these days. Usually the decision to get married has already been vocalized beforehand. For us, we had booked a venue before he proposed. So in a lot of ways, the proposal was redundant, but it was still special to us. I wouldn't have minded if we skipped it, but it's a really sweet feeling to hear your love ask you to marry him.

    image

    Anniversary

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