Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:7a24ce4a-253a-4f81-82ca-d23b773c9147">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! : This made me smile, don't ask me why it's just been a long week and I'm in a weird mood.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

Hey, anytime you need me to make you smile by telling you to fvck off, you know where to find me.

loves2shop4shoes

Wow...how does you getting engaged= there being hope for all of us???  

There being help for all of us would be the end of war, peace in the Middle East, a cure for cancer, having celebrity role models that wore clothes that implied that women are worth more than their breast implants, reduced crime rates, reduced unemployment rates, increased percentage of the population with college degrees, etc.

God, how self important can you be?  Open a book...even CNN.com would suffice.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:95c03119-1167-4b2c-bc5f-3db389e78a2f">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! : Uhm, *I* am a newish reg....  I learned from the old school... <strong>ETA: Where's Shoes? ;)</strong>
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>You asked, she appeared.</div><div>
</div><div>*twilight zone music*</div>

SassyFlats

I couldn't find one that said "You, too can get engaged!"

Honestly, though. Some of you folks are just getting wound up over... well... not much. This chick came out of the blue, probably super-excited, and just posted without really getting a feel for what this forum is about and what folks here talk about and how they feel. So, she was a bit overzealous. So what? Happens all the time, right? She'll probably disappear just as fast as she showed up. No need for drama.

Elle1036

That ribbons cat gets me every time.

SKP82

Elle - I agree that we can disagree. 

Shoes - thanks for making an appearance!!!  I totally agree with what you said. 

Sassy - the ribbons kitten always makes me smile.  But it does irritate me when posters blatantly ignore the "READ ME FIRST"  post and the suggestion to lurk before posting.  I guess that's just because I'm a rule - follower.

Honestly, I didn't get wound up.  I am just super sarcastic.  I guess I haven't posted enough for you guys to recognize that.  It's on my to-do list. 

SeaTea02

I am going to say the same thing I said earlier in the week. Every one has a different posting style. I am going to continue to post how I like, just as Marley will continue to be super nice. 

If you think my posts are mean, don't read them. Or, you can hit the little block button and my posts won't show up for you. 

And this is the internet, how someone posts is all we have to interpret their meaning. This OP came off condescending so she did not get good response from a lot of people. Choose your words carefully on the internet or they will likely be misinterpreted. 

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:b504afdb-bf0e-4753-8bbc-ed5839672563">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am going to say the same thing I said earlier in the week. Every one has a different posting style. I am going to continue to post how I like, just as Marley will continue to be super nice.  If you think my posts are mean, don't read them. Or, you can hit the little block button and my posts won't show up for you.  And this is the internet, how someone posts is all we have to interpret their meaning. This OP came off condescending so she did not get good response from a lot of people. Choose your words carefully on the internet or they will likely be misinterpreted. 
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

<3

marleylikeair

I'm with Elle. SKP, I have to say it: I think your comments were out of line. I think several other PPs on this thread said things that were uncalled for, too.

Seriously. OP may be somewhat misguided about her audience for this post, but she was trying to be nice and supportive, so I see no need to attack her.

No, we are not trolls or charity cases, nor are we sitting around desperately biting our nails waiting for a proposal day in and day out. But I don't really think that's what the OP was saying. That's kind of a stretch.

Did her OP come across a little condescending? Maybe, if you look at it that way. But anyone wanting to express that could have done so without stooping to 5th-grade-level mocking.

csousa1

Well if her intent WAS to rub it in our faces and make us miserable, you certainly proved HER wrong with all of the bitterness....

My personal favorite is the "if you don't like what I have to say, don't read it"/"this is just what I am like so deal with it" mentality....how is that not true for OP as well?

Just observastions. It does take all kinds to make up the world!

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:45dd3a17-5d51-4f7c-b157-194e601e8517">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well if her intent WAS to rub it in our faces and make us miserable, you certainly proved HER wrong with all of the bitterness.... My personal favorite is the "if you don't like what I have to say, don't read it"/"this is just what I am like so deal with it" mentality....how is that not true for OP as well? Just observastions. It does take all kinds to make up the world!
Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

Good points, sousa.

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:45dd3a17-5d51-4f7c-b157-194e601e8517">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well if her intent WAS to rub it in our faces and make us miserable, you certainly proved HER wrong with all of the bitterness.... My personal favorite is the "if you don't like what I have to say, don't read it"/"this is just what I am like so deal with it" mentality....how is that not true for OP as well? Just observastions. It does take all kinds to make up the world!
Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Absolutely, but if I want to respond I can, just like anyone who wants to respond to me can, like you just did. How absolutely boring would this board be if we all got along and never contested what one another said. </div><div>
</div><div>Further, if this person continues to post and I continue to dislike what they say I would ignore or block them. I think responding to someone new is different than continuing to dislike what a reg has to say day after day and scolding them about three times a week telling them the "correct way to respond". </div><div>
</div>

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:400c1b3e-20b2-443a-9c0a-7629b884fb6e">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! : Absolutely, but if I want to respond I can, just like anyone who wants to respond to me can, like you just did. How absolutely boring would this board be if we all got along and never contested what one another said.  Further, if this person continues to post and I continue to dislike what they say I would ignore or block them. <strong>I think responding to someone new is different than continuing to dislike what a reg has to say day after day and scolding them about three times a week telling them the "correct way to respond". 
</strong>Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Very valid points. Although, I think it is all just the same. We are all adults with opinions, expressing them on a board specifically created for that. No one telling anyone how to speak makes very much sense, no matter who is new and who is not. We are also all allowed to have our own reactions. I for one am not remotely offended by a stranger's happiness, but that is me. Those women that are offended have also done nothing wrong. Feelings are facts!

csousa1

For the record, I will not be blocking you SeaTea, or SKP for that matter - agree with you or not, you are both interesting to read!! And truly, the entire point is to see different perspectives of the same issue!

GreenPepperBurger

I am never getting engaged. WAHHHH. *footstomp*

marleylikeair

Sousa is right. I don't block anyone, even if I disagree with them a lot, partly because it's good to get different perspectives. She's also right that we are all free to post however we like, and in turn, anyone can respond however they like.

I will continue to call out extreme rudeness, because it's something I disagree with. As you know, Sea, I don't scold or tell anyone how to post; I just express my opinion. I do it for many reasons. Partly, I want newbs and lurkers to know that not everyone on this board is going to flame them, and that NEY is a pretty cool place once you get to know people, and they get to know you.

I do find it interesting that the people who play the "I can post however I want" card first are usually the people who are either being rude or agreeing with someone who is, however.

SeaTea02

I feel like we had this conversation last week and I am far too tired to continue. 

SassyFlats

LOL, Lauren that's a very fitting lolcat, maybe better than the ribbons one!

marleylikeair

I agree with Sassy and Elle, btdubs. The ribbons cat is awesome. I also love this one:

AudgiePodge

People post the "I can post what I want" because usually it someone complaining about getting butthurt about what they said first. It's just the Internet. Some people need to stop taking it so seriously. Not everyone who first starts posting is going to he coddled. Especially if the come spewing ridiculousness. And just like most everyone else, I will call you out. Newb, "reg" whoever. You think I'm a meanie head? Telling me how you think I should post isn't going to change it.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:e186cfed-d7b6-45cd-ab58-e83b5f2c4c61">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]People post the "I can post what I want" because usually it someone complaining about getting butthurt about what they said first. It's just the Internet. Some people need to stop taking it so seriously. Not everyone who first starts posting is going to he coddled. Especially if the come spewing ridiculousness. And just like most everyone else, I will call you out. Newb, "reg" whoever. You think I'm a meanie head? Telling me how you think I should post isn't going to change it.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

Being polite, friendly, and/or not rude =/= coddling.

AudgiePodge

I guess that is subjective.

SassyFlats

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:6b899daf-eb01-453a-886c-bee2fbd5a8d9">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess that is subjective.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

I'm just saying I think it's totally possible to give someone advice based on what you really think, without blowing sunshine up their butt, but without being rude. Tough love is okay, ya know?

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:a79ead8c-3e59-416c-8db5-95fe7a67db1d">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...how does you getting engaged= there being hope for all of us???   There being help for all of us would be the end of war, peace in the Middle East, a cure for cancer, having celebrity role models that wore clothes that implied that <strong>women are worth more than their breast implants,</strong> reduced crime rates, reduced unemployment rates, increased percentage of the population with college degrees, etc. God, how self important can you be?  Open a book...even CNN.com would suffice.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

But my boobs are worth a lot!

SeaTea02

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:b73ecf6d-48c7-45a2-b845-545359bc5e02">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! : I'm just saying I think it's totally possible to give someone advice based on what you really think,<strong> without blowing sunshine up their butt, but without being rude. Tough love is okay, ya know?</strong>
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

1. you constantly show up blowing sunshine up everyone's butts

2. I've never seen you give tough love

3. I don't need to give posters tough love because I don't love them. They are a stranger on the internet.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:294a1ed4-22a4-47c6-aff8-c048fcec71e5">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]
Posted by SassyFlats[/QUOTE]

Sass, that is a cute lolcat. :)

For the record? "Special" doesn't factor in. In my view, <em>everyone </em>who posts politely deserves a civil response.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_former-lurker-posting-say-there-hope-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4dac5df6-1947-4dde-ac6b-050224f6b560Post:3b8cdf4b-5047-4741-b781-0d2f9434dec5">Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Former lurker, posting to say, THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! : 1. you constantly show up blowing sunshine up everyone's butts 2. I've never seen you give tough love 3. I don't need to give posters tough love because I don't love them. They are a stranger on the internet.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

1. Again, politeness and/or friendliness =/= blowing sunshine up someone's butt. I do not tell someone "hey, don't worry, that's totally fine, honey" if I don't think it is. I either politely give my perspective or stay out of it entirely.

2. Just because you've never seen it from me doesn't mean I don't give it.

3. No, you don't need to. I never said you needed to. I am expressing my opinion on civility.

SeaTea02

Life requires people who blow sunshine and people who are snarky and everyone in between. I don't want everyone on this board or anywhere in life to think or be just like me. Accept people who aren't like you as a counter balance in the universe.