Parties

orangehills

This isn't really relevant to me since I don't have kids, but was just curious... I was talking with a coworker and she was saying she was going to have to cancel her son's bday party because it was an odd time of year and too many people couldn't make it. To me, that didn't seem like a big deal since he was turning 11 (even though I didn't say anything like that out loud) also, because I always thought it was spoiling your kids with having big parties every year and that kids shouldn't always expect so much. Apparently I am wrong!

 Where I grew up people didn't have parties often, just occasionally, but mainly just celebrated with family. My parents gave me 2 small parties growing up. At this point I feel like I will not give my kids a party every year, and a different coworker told me that since I don't have kids she doesn't think what I say is relevant, and that my mind will change when I have kids. So now I'm curious if I'm totally outdated with my way of thinking!

What were your birthday traditions growing up?
When you have kids (or if you already do) are you going to give them parties every year or only sometimes and do family things the other times?

elannis

I will have a party every year, we all do in my family no matter how old people are, but it's just a small family party with cake, presents, food, and conversation. The kids play and the grown ups talk. Occasionally they'll do it at a park or a skating rink, but it's never a huge ordeal. I like it because it's a way to get the whole family together.

When the kids in the family get older, they can either have their own separate celebration with their friends  or their friends come to the family party.


Edited for clarity.

orangehills

yah- I like the family parties. Those I will do. But not the parties where I invite a ton of their friends or their whole class.... maybe like once or twice!

I would just do a family thing every year with just my immediate family. A special dinner, cake and presents. I think I had a party 3 times- 2 slumber parties, 1 at a skating rink

But of course I say this now- according to my coworkers, anything I say now isn't relevant lol

CCO2012

I had something every year as a kid. Sometimes they were huge blow outs, sometimes they were just a couple friends going to dinner and a movie and then sleeping over. Also up until about 10 my sister (she is 2 years younger than me) and I shared all of our parties. Her bday is the day before mine. We hated it after a certain point, but now we take advantage of it and do a family thing on one of our bdays (switches back and forth) every year. Also, its very close to Thanksgiving so our extended family always gives us gifts then and we have a cake or pie with candles for both of us

elannis

Well, I wouldn't say that it isn't relevant, lol, but I'm sure we'll be doing things differently than we would have guessed, just as we do things differently now than we would have guessed 5 years ago. I think celebrating the birthday is important, but it doesn't matter how it's done, as long as the person feels special for that one day.

I think I had a few parties where I invited my whole class in elementary school until I figured out who I wanted to specifically invite, but it was still just included in with my family parties at my house or the bowling alley or something simple like that. That's how I like to do things though: laid back. I don't think it's wrong to do big parties if that's what you want and are able to do either though; It's just not my style.

orangehills

Oh I agree- it's not irrelevant. I was super irritated she said that. I was like, ya I know I'm not a parent- and I'll change a lot, but don't say that even if you think it because I don't say your opinions are irrelevant over something just because you haven't experienced it yet! erg

elannis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:52d199f3-e5da-4955-b5bc-b23ecd0a354bPost:5143e70e-5a56-48a2-98fd-07f48f8fa8ec">Re: Parties</a>:
[QUOTE]I had something every year as a kid. Sometimes they were huge blow outs, sometimes they were just a couple friends going to dinner and a movie and then sleeping over. Also up until about 10 my<strong> sister (she is 2 years younger than me) and I shared all of our parties. Her bday is the day before mine. We hated it after a certain point, but now we take advantage of it </strong>and do a family thing on one of our bdays (switches back and forth) every year. Also, its very close to Thanksgiving so our extended family always gives us gifts then and we have a cake or pie with candles for both of us :)
Posted by CCO2012[/QUOTE]

I hate having my own birthday party. I think I may have mentioned before that I'm shy and I'm a wallflower, so the part where everybody is paying attention to me, even family, is horrible, lol. Luckily, my grandma's birthday is only 3 days after mine and my dad's is 2 weeks after mine, so we usually lump all three of us together and I can share the attention.

Peaseblossom55

I had parties almost every year as a kid, they were mostly small and at places like a skating rink ( I remember one at McDonald's when I was 8)  The whole class wasn't invited or anything and since my birthday was in the summer.  I had few people who could make it and I had to get everyone's address in advance before the school year was out.

As I got older I did simple things like a sleepovers with a few friends.  Family parties were harder since there was very little family around where we lived.  

Lil B Mama

Your opinion could change when you have kids, then again, it might not! I think birthday parties are only for little kids really, I think around 10 or 11 you might be too embarrased by your parents to want them to throw you a party. Thats just my opinion. I plan on throwing my son parties til he's like "Seriously mom, no more lame parties!" Nothing extravagant cause we're not millionaires, but i definitely want to make him feel special on the anniversary of that wonderful day. I'm already planning his 1st b day and he just turned 7 months :P 

leia1979

I always had parties. They were never anything huge. Usually my friends came over to my house and we'd have food, maybe some little arts and crafts project, cake, and a pinata. I did have a party at the roller rink at least once--it was shared with my cousin and we had all the same friends, so it was easy for our families to split the cost.

I was watching some user research videos at work today and this lady says how she bought a party for her kid for $400 and it was a great deal because a party in New York City was usually more like $900. I choked at that! I'm sure my parties generally cost under $100.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

We always have a party every year for everyone's birthday no matter how old they are. 

Blue & White

We had one big family party every year for all 4 of us (our bdays were all within a month).  It was just cake and playing baseball in the yard, usually.

We only had one party where we invited kids from class and it was kindergarten.  Mine was awesome though

Ollie08

I think you might find your opinion change when you have kids. We always have family parties, and for the most part they are included with the friends' parties. For the girls, the first birthday was always huge (and to be honest it was more a celebration for the parents that we survived) and then the others leading up to pre-school were pretty low key.

What's tricky about the first few years of school here (I'm not sure how it is everywhere else), but if you bring an invitation in to class to invite a few of the kids, then you have to invite the entire class. It gets a little more difficult to invite just the kids your children want.

As for the cost of parties, it usually costs several hundred for me even for small family affairs. For FI's b-day last week, I grilled out and all of the food and drinks and cake cost about $200. If it's a kids party, add on top of that the invitations, favors, games or entertainment and it's easy to get up there. Unless you have a party that doesn't provide any real food other than snacks.

kellyt89

When I was really little we would have a family party at this sports center (because my bday is in January and I have a bunch of cousins who would have been bored out of their minds in my house in the winter). When I got older I would go to the roller rink and/or then have a sleepover with a few of my friends. My sweet 16 was in my basement.

For the past 4 or so years I go out to dinner with my parents and maybe a friend or a couple of friends at my favorite restaurant. Oh, and my mom always makes me a Duncan Hines chocolate cake with buttercream icing for breakfast (and I'm 22...haha! It's bcome a cute tradition now).