To those who eloped or had a small (<30) wedding...

Narwhal

Do you ever regret not having the big party and having to leave some people out that you otherwise would have wanted there?

bakes218

We had s small wedding with our parents and my Grandma. We have never regretted it for a minute. In our mind, the people who were most important were there. Also to be honest, we could not wrap our head around the money either. We were able to buy a house, book an awesome honeymoon and we aren't in debt. We also did not have to be engaged for 2 years to save up for just one day. To us it was one day, the marriage was our whole lives and that is the most important part. Some family members and friends were sad that they did not get to see us get married but once it was over they were so happy for us it really has been a non issue.

I think our wedding was more intimate and special  then most I have been to and I wouldn't change a thing!

Hazel_B

This is just something to consider. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves then by all means do what you would like.

I know someone who had a small wedding and that the people that contributed the most money were quite upset about how small the wedding was. The couple invited whoever they wanted, but the people (parents) paying weren't allowed to invite people that were important to them. During the planning there was deifnitely more stress than was necessary because the wedding was so small and the couple wasn't footing the bill.

Sparrow87

It's all about the party that you want, even if that means a lack thereof. 

SassyFlats

If you want a small wedding and your "people paying" don't, then pay for your own small wedding. Problem solved.

My wedding wasn't THAT small, and I would have been fine if it were even smaller (around 50 guests instead of the 90 or so we had). I don't regret not inviting everyone I've ever known... but I would have regretted if my siblings, BFF, husband's BFF, parents and grandparents weren't all there.

Honestly, I could have done without most cousins and aunts and uncles, and even the very few coworkers we had. It was only as large as it was because my parents were contributing and they wanted to invite their siblings. I can understand that. I didn't mind having as many as we did- more would have been too much. Less might have been even better.

Narwhal

I ask because FI and I are weighing some options. We are paying entirely ourselves. We found a venue (I haven't told anyone because we can't technically book it for another 3 months) for if we want a larger wedding, and we found another place we would like to have it, but it would be a 25 person cap, including us. Everyone I would be heartbroken without them being there would make it under the cap, but we aren't sure.

We like both places, but one entire wedding would cost the same as just the venue and rentals would cost at the other. We have the money, we can spend it on a larger wedding, but we can't decide if we want to. Also, the second, smaller place, is in a public park, on a historical monument, and we like the idea of knowing that it won't be torn down and we can visit the location whenever we want.

tafft1

We have never regretted going from a 100+ wedding to having 20ish of our closest friends and family. We paid for it all ourselves - outside of my FIL INSISTING that he pay for the dinner and also gave us some other money - but we had planned to pay for it all regardless. We were worried about how to tell people - but all of hubby's family completely understood and both our friends fully supported us in our choice. If anything they all felt we were doing what was best for us and wanted us to be comfortable with everything above anything else. Now , I understand we have a unique situation - as I had zero family at my wedding due to having none left - but even so , I know that had they still been alive they would have supported our choice.

My husband and I love how intimate and personal our wedding was. We wouldn't change one thing about how we did it - we found ourselves MORE excited about the smaller wedding than the larger affair we thought we needed/wanted. I cana honestly say we were able to really spend time with everyone at the reception and had some amazing laughs , smiles , memories without everything that we thought we had to do. It really is a very personal choice but I am so glad we saved the money we did and had our ENTIRE wedding for less than what the rental would have been originally.

aah009

Do what's best for you and the FI. If you are already doubting the second choice because you feel that you will regret not having everyone there then I would go for big. 

I personally won't have a small wedding when the time comes.. I have over 25 sorority sisters so a small wedding is out of the question.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_those-eloped-small-30-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:56becf28-68aa-47a0-a374-fb7cfdd5faf3Post:9278b6af-cdfd-4d85-8210-8858c8296194">Re: To those who eloped or had a small (<30) wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]We have never regretted going from a 100+ wedding to having 20ish of our closest friends and family. We paid for it all ourselves - outside of my FIL INSISTING that he pay for the dinner and also gave us some other money - but we had planned to pay for it all regardless. We were worried about how to tell people - but all of hubby's family completely understood and<strong> both our friends</strong> fully supported us in our choice. If anything they all felt we were doing what was best for us and wanted us to be comfortable with everything above anything else. Now , I understand we have a unique situation - as I had zero family at my wedding due to having none left - but even so , I know that had they still been alive they would have supported our choice. My husband and I love how intimate and personal our wedding was. We wouldn't change one thing about how we did it - we found ourselves MORE excited about the smaller wedding than the larger affair we thought we needed/wanted. I cana honestly say we were able to really spend time with everyone at the reception and had some amazing laughs , smiles , memories without everything that we thought we had to do. It really is a very personal choice but I am so glad we saved the money we did and had our ENTIRE wedding for less than what the rental would have been originally.
Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

This makes it sound like you guys have a total of two friends.  I found it amusing.

alanacatherine

My older sister did the whole $20,000 wedding thing and within a year of her wedding wished she had had her wedding in jamaica with whoever could make it. I agree with PP's! 

Why so many people anyway?

LtlAngL

I did the 35 people in Jamaica thing and do not regret it at all!!! We invited 185 ppl so that we weren't rude to anyone, already knowing that those closest to us would make it. We got a little grief from my aunt since my grandma wouldn't be able to go, as well as one of hubby's aunts because our wedding was @ Sandals, and she could not bring her child, but since we paid for the entire wedding, we were not about to spend 4 times as much for just 1 day to make everyone (but ourselves) happy! Due to this choice, we were able to take a 3 1/2 week honeymoon, and buy a house fairly soon after. Plus, my family, hubby's family, and our friends threw 3 separate parties for us before we went off to get married so that everyone can celebrate with us. We did not have a separate reception after we came back because that was exactly the expense we were trying to avoid. We did splurge a bit on a Trash the Dress session, and absolutely loooved how all the wedding and TTD pics looked on the beach and how casual everything was. Rather than a party that lasts just a few hours, we got to celebrate with our closest friends at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica for the entire week.

Best decision ever! I highly recommend it!!!