I'm sorry... come again?

SopChick

I'm in my Master's for Opera, and especially due to the HD broadcasts in movie theatres by the Met in NY there is a lot more pressure to fit a certain 'look' (mainly size) throughout many phases of the business. This is even beginning to trickle down into training programs and schools.

Today a girl in my program made a comment that made me stop in my tracks. She was talking to me and another girl who is maybe a size bigger than me, so we're between size 16-20ish. She said "I was actually really surprised [head of the program] let you guys in. She has a real prejudice against fat people." She does have a bit of a reputation for being a b!tch, but still, that's just uncalled for. I'm normally really bad at thinking of comebacks, but I said, "I guess that says something about our vocal ability then, huh?"

I'm just still in shock that she said it at all. I'm also hurt by it, even though I know I should just ignore it, because she's a b!tch. I guess since I struggle so much with my weight and body image, it really affects me to have it come from an outside source.

What would you ladies have done?

elannis

I have had some guy ask me if I was expecting a baby before. He wasn't even trying to be mean. I was crushed, but I was at work, so I had to keep working. People say stupid things sometimes.

I would say that if she said that, she's insecure and possibly threatened by you and your talent and she's trying to get to you. I'm not the confrontational type, so I wouldn't have done anything, but I wouldn't give her any more of my time either. I'm sorry she said that; it makes me want to go beat her up for you!  I hate when people think they're better than someone else because they fit into a smaller pant size. From everything I've seen, you're a wonderful person, so try not to let what she said get to you because that's what she wants. People come in all different shapes and sizes, but that doesn't mean that you're not as good a person, or any less smart, or talented, or caring.

If you believe in karma, just remember, she'll get hers some day.  I'm not good with words to cheer people up, but I hope you feel better.

Peaseblossom55

I'm sorry sop to hear, the one thing I learned from my many years of dance, acting and modeling is that there will only be people out there trying to bring you down. whether it mocking your talent or some physical aspect of you.  They do it to a. makes themselves feel better and b. to weaken the competition make you start doubting yourself.

You are wonderful just the way you are and talented as well. I know its hard not to let those comments affect you, but move on and keep your head high.  <hugs>

Swazzle

I would have punched her. 

That's absolutely appalling. Nobody should talk to anyone like that. Honestly, she must have some demons that she's trying to hide & make herself feel better about if she's going to try to put you down that way.  

I like your comeback a lot by the way, I suck at thinking on my feet but I think you probably put her in her place with that (without turning to violence lol). 

Blue & White

In Response to Re: I'm sorry... come again?:
[QUOTE]I would have punched her.  That's absolutely appalling. Nobody should talk to anyone like that. Honestly, she must have some demons that she's trying to hide & make herself feel better about if she's going to try to put you down that way.   I like your comeback a lot by the way, I suck at thinking on my feet but I think you probably put her in her place with that (without turning to violence lol). 
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]


I think it's be hilarious to watch rdr punch someone, just saying

And yea, I feel like you did a great job at solving the situation non-violently.  The comment was just really uncalled for.

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-sorry-come-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:59efcfc8-de6c-4a6a-9a8a-8b6e7360e6b3Post:43f4d1cf-defb-498e-8c5c-e6cb062576e6">Re: I'm sorry... come again?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would have punched her.  That's absolutely appalling. Nobody should talk to anyone like that. Honestly, she must have some demons that she's trying to hide & make herself feel better about if she's going to try to put you down that way.   I like your comeback a lot by the way, I suck at thinking on my feet but I think you probably put her in her place with that (without turning to violence lol). 
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

Hehe.  That was my first thought too.  Followed immediately by a... no, no,I wouldn't punch her...

SOP, I think you handled it beautifully.  You had an awesome comment in the wings that put the focus back on what you're there for:  learning opera. Don't let a narrowminded little B!tch make you feel bad about yourself.

peekaboo2011

I would have punched her in the face.  And then the vocal cords.  Stupid bitch.

Just remember that there are plus sized women in the entertainment business too - and they're A-listers.  Whoopi, Queen Latifa, that girl from Mike and Molly (I don't think she's an A-lister, but she's probably headed there).  My point is, if you're confident, you're beautiful.  It isn't about size.  

*hugs* Sop.  Karma is a bitch.  She'll get hers. 

Hazel_B

I would have been speechless, but I approve of anyone else punching her.

Sop, forget about her. Just do what you need to do for you!

Elle1036

I think you handled it perfectly. I really like what you said.

[Deleted User]

wow, that's an awful thing to say.  FWIW, I think you handled it so gracefully.    keep your chin up...  and just remember, she's all sorts of insecure to say something like that.  some people have to put others down to try and make themselves feel better...  she's just a small-minded person, no need to give her any more of your attention!

polkadot111

You have an absolutely gorgeous voice. Don't let anyone cut you down. You're amazing.

tafft1

I really hate that such hurtful things were said to you , and everyone else who has responsed here as well - I know it all too well first hand being a plus size girl myself - though I am grateful I was raised "blind" in the sense that I could never judge anyone based on their physical appaearance at all.

Going through the whole rude things people say . it sucks but after so much of it now I do my best to take it with a grain of salt though I have been known to tell people off because of it. *hugs* You are an awesome person don't let it get you down

SopChick

Thanks for the support ladies. I'm sorry to have brought the bs here, but I needed to vent it out! She obviously does have some issues, and this has shown me that she's someone I will probably actively avoid. I don't need other people's poison messing with my head - this career path is hard enough as it is!

Some people are jerks, thankfully though, you ladies are awesome! *hug*

DanieKA

That's INSANE! I'm not good at comebacks either, but yours was perfect. I totally understand how that can bring up insecurities. I'm pretty insecure myself and it's hard when you are going about your day and BOOM! someone idiotic can say something and it hits you like a ton of bricks. Then something that is always in the back of your mind (at least its always in the back of mine) bothers you that much more throughout the rest of the day. Even days later. It sucks! Chin up. Your ability has clearly overcome any prejudice the director allegedly has, and this girl is just a jealous [insert really nasty word here]!

ravenray

Wow you had an awesome comeback!  I am so sorry she said that!  I can't believe that.  People can be so cruel!  I think she is jealous of you.  *hug*  You are beautiful and your voice is amazing. 

PaigeMcC

What a hoar bag!  

But you handled that perfectly, Sop.  Obviously she's got some issues of her own and letting her get under your skin is what she wants.  Just keep being yourself, doin' your thing and let her deal with her issues. 

lennonkdc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-sorry-come-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:59efcfc8-de6c-4a6a-9a8a-8b6e7360e6b3Post:7355335c-dded-44cb-92f1-ade3c45eef7b">Re: I'm sorry... come again?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm sorry... come again? : Hehe.  That was my first thought too.  Followed immediately by a... no, no,I wouldn't punch her... SOP, I think you handled it beautifully.  
Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This. </div><div>
</div><div>Total B!tch...</div>

Azoray

Sorry she said that
If that's the way she is though, she's really not going to get very far in life.  attract more bees with honey and all that.

I like your comeback though!

It would have been hilarious if you said

"I guess that says something about our vocal ability then, huh?.......  I wonder why you got in?"

[Deleted User]

man, some people are really stupid... I hope someone grabs that girl, ties her to a chair and force feeds her lard for a year.

I'm so glad you had that in your head and were able to fight back. I'm horrible when it comes to comebacks, so knowing you said that made me smile! Me being 250lbs, I get a LOT of looks and comments that people REALLY are too stupid to keep to themselves.

Also, with Opera, way back, weren't all the best singers the ones with meat on the bones??