Not Engaged Yet

Blingy-Bling-Bling Question

So, remember how BF and I went to the diamond district last week and found a fantastic setting & diamond combo but we didn't buy it (forget about the part where I was sort of a spoiled brat because we didn't buy it)? 
Well, his mom also wanted us to check out her diamond/jewelry guy before we bought anything.  BF wanted to do that sooner rather than later but he's had to work so he asked me to go when I got a chance to see if they had anything.  I went today and they had something I liked - though I didn't LOVE it as much as I did the one at the diamond district.  It was a halo setting as well but a bit more "blingier" than the other one I picked out.  It didn't have the cathedral sides that we liked and had a wider band but it's definitely along the lines of what I wanted and is gorgeous.  Also, the diamond was nice but not AS nice as the other.  Of course, this meant it was less expensive.  Like $1500 less expensive for the setting & diamond together.  And, having price-compared, I know the guy was quoting me a good deal price since he's the family jeweler. 
We're going back to the family jeweler guy on Friday and, if BF likes the whole set-up and I still like it, he wants to put money on it (half now, half later).  I guess I'm just unsure if I want us to go with the less expensive option.  Setting-wise, I love the one in LA and just really like the other one.  Diamond-wise, the one in LA is a cushion, D, SI1 (nothing visible), 1.25, and cut so that it's more square than rectangular; the other one is cusion, E, SI2, 1.2 and also cute more square but not as well as the first one.  Um, so to sum it up it's a difference in $1500 and love versus like.  And because of the cost, probably also the difference between getting engaged sooner rather than later.  What do you girls think?

P.S. - not sure how this posted ended up so long except that I'm tired and started rambling.  Apologies!

Re: Blingy-Bling-Bling Question

  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would go with the one I loved rather than liked.

    Divide that extra $1500 (and the extra days you'll have to wait to be engaged) out over the amount of days you'll wear it, and you're looking at cents a day.  It would be worth it to me.

    That's me, though.  Everyone's priorities are different, and I wouldn't judge you or anything for going the other way.
  • edited December 2011
    Is there any way you can buy the diamond you want and take it to the other jeweler to do it in the setting you love? Or would that not save much on cost?
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh and if it makes you feel better, FI got the ring I liked as opposed to love because of the cost and I have really grown to love it.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_blingy-bling-bling-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5db23f0f-4209-465c-b2f8-c160acfa121cPost:e70e8e06-a33d-4969-8ff2-c456f1a200d5">Re: Blingy-Bling-Bling Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would go with the one I loved rather than liked. Divide that extra $1500 (and the extra days you'll have to wait to be engaged) out over the amount of days you'll wear it, and you're looking at cents a day.  It would be worth it to me. That's me, though.  Everyone's priorities are different, and I wouldn't judge you or anything for going the other way.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    That's what I was thinking.  But, I guess I should have added, we would like to buy from the family jeweler since we know him and would feel comfortable going to him if we ever had a problem with it or for maintenance, etc.  Kind of adds another part to the mix that makes the decision even harder!!
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_blingy-bling-bling-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5db23f0f-4209-465c-b2f8-c160acfa121cPost:c1b274cb-8dfe-40f8-9fff-fe049eaaac85">Re: Blingy-Bling-Bling Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Blingy-Bling-Bling Question : That's what I was thinking.  But, I guess I should have added, we would like to buy from the family jeweler since we know him and would feel comfortable going to him if we ever had a problem with it or for maintenance, etc.  Kind of adds another part to the mix that makes the decision even harder!!
    Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, that does complicate things.  I get it.</div><div>
    </div><div>Is it possible to get the family jeweler to custom design a ring like the one in the diamond district that you fell in love with?</div>
  • edited December 2011
    I would go with the one you love more, unless the extra $1500 is going to be stretching the budget or cause problems.  You will wear it forever and it should be something you absolutely love.  

    As a disclaimer I am NEY and not doing any ring shopping w/ BF. So perhaps it's different when you are in that situation looking at rings together.  I told BF to do whatever he knew I would like for when the day comes and do whatever is comfortable in his budget. I'd hate to make suggestions or fall in love with something totally out of his budget...

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  • polkadot111polkadot111 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I would go with the one I REALLY liked. Just because of the price difference and the fact that you know the jeweler is great since your family has been using them. Plus, you still really like it. But, 1,500 dollars is a big deal to me. So, my opinion may be different.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_blingy-bling-bling-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5db23f0f-4209-465c-b2f8-c160acfa121cPost:f0e2fd2e-1083-4433-9475-cd24ae9ce9f4">Re: Blingy-Bling-Bling Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally, I would go with the one I REALLY liked. Just because of the price difference and the fact that you know the jeweler is great since your family has been using them. Plus, you still really like it. But, 1,500 dollars is a big deal to me. So, my opinion may be different.
    Posted by polkadot111[/QUOTE]

    This. Do you love the first ring $1500 more than the one you really like?


  • edited December 2011
    I agree wuth pp... Do you love it $1,500 more than the one you like? Or can you custom design something?
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    My impression from your previous post is that your BF feels much more comfortable with the family jeweler.

    I think you need to take that into account as well. 

    Your BF is the one spending the money, right? Or are you also paying for the ring?

    I guess I just kinda feel like it's not really fair to push or pressure your BF to spend more money and go with a jeweler he is less comfortable with if it is his money he is spending. 

    Esp, given the differences seem to be pretty small, and IME, women grow to love their rings regardless.

    I think it's absolutely okay to express a preference for which ring you like more. But I also think in relationships in general, it's important to draw a line between making yourself clear and pressuring your partner. Sometimes you need to know when to let go and let your SO do things his own way. So, just think about if this is one of those times where it might be beneficial for you to take a step back.

    JMO.


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  • edited December 2011
    I haven't been ring shopping yet so I'm a little torn on how to answer that question.  Based on how I'd feel I would go with the less expensive ring.  But that's just my personal opinion based on the thought of I don't want BF to spend a lot of money on one.  To me, $1500 is a huge difference but it might not be to others.

    Desert had a good point that if your BF feels more comfortable with the family jeweler, and he's the one spending the money, it might be a good idea to go with that ring.

    I also like the idea of getting something custom-made that could be similar to the more expensive one you really love.  
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  • edited December 2011
    I would go with trying to custom design the ring... that way you can get everything you want in one ring without having to sacrifice. Most of the time, customizing actually cuts down the price too. My FI went to the natural sapphire company and custom designed the ring and he had a really good experience, that way he could put everything together that he thought I would like.

    I love my ring..
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  • edited December 2011
    Idk.  I say you shouldn't settle for anything less than absolute LOVE for your engagement ring.

    You need to find a ring you LOVE within your budget.  If the one you LOVE is within your budget, but happens to be $1500 more than a ring you only LIKE, so what?

    JMO
  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My first thought was to go for the ring you love because I much prefer square stones, but really I think you need to take your FI's opinion into account. It's a big purchase and you'll like need to have little repairs done over time and it would be great to buy from someone you feel comfortable with.

    Is that the only stone the family jeweler has? It seems like you were trying to match the stone from the first store in size and color. IMO, that's kind of silly. Very, very few people can see the difference between D and E and I don't think anyone can see a 0.05 difference in carat size. You didn't mention the quality of the cut (not the shape) at all. How do these compare? Again IMO, cut quality is what I would use to determine whether a stone was worth $1500 more than another. Also, cut quality will make a small, colored diamond look as good as a larger, colorless diamond. Maybe the family jeweler could help you find something that you love even if it doesn't have the exact same specs as the first diamond.
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  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    2500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    IMO, if you're both comfortable with the family jeweler go that route. My FI bought my ring from a local family jeweler, same one his parents and my parents go to (only small one in our town so its popular and has been around for 21 yrs). We went back looking for a band to match my ring since its such a unique shape if we have to design one we'd do it now and slowly pay it off bc its expensive to do. Well we found a band that they can mold to fit mine perfectly when it gets soddered together. However, its yellow gold and would cost more to get white gold ($200 more). The price of gold is $1700.00 an oz right now, we ordered the ring so that way we lock in our price and we have just under two yrs to pay for it (he's great for letting you pay cash if you make a payment once a month). Since we picked out the band that day, he isn't charging me to have it made into white gold and when my FI asked about diamond studs for me they were priced $699, he said he'd sell them to FI for $450.

    The long of the short of it is, if you go with the family jeweler you are more likely to get better deals down the road on other items you or BF/FI buy.

     

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the feedback ladies!!  Our plan was for both of us to contribute to the ring (especially since I make more than BF).  When we first started looking our goal was to keep it under 10k but then we saw that we could easily keep it under 7.  Now that there's an option to get something really nice for only $5600 from the family guy, that's REALLY appealing to both of us!  I really don't know if the first ring is worth $1500 more to me.  Hmph.  I'm so bad at making this decision.  I'm hoping when we go back tomorrow it will all become clear . . .
  • doubleSS07doubleSS07 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    When we started looking at rings I had a definite look that I gravitated towards and well lets jsut say it was neither cheap nor in the budget.  To be fair BF was being tight lipped about said budget so it was hard to guage what I was looking at.  The last time we went he finally gave me a firm price and the ring I could not find one single thing wrong with just wasn't going to happen.  I also took in to consideration what he thought of the ring too. I wanted him to like the ring he was buying as well.  I ended up picking out a ring with many of attributes that I like but that is a little simpler to go with BF's tastes as well and we found a nice size diamond all for under the price he was looking to spend.  I think maybe seeing your BF's reaction to the ring might help you decide. 

    Do you have any ring porn pictures to share?  We'll all help you decide hehe


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