What would you do?

mymissingpuzzlepiece

After reading a lot of the FFF posts, I know that most of you dislike WR threads but I'm desperate and I need some help. I have no idea what to do. 

My FI and I are not religious and consider ourselves agnostic. We are meeting with a Celebrant today to see if we get along with her, and if she meshes with our style. We picked a Celebrant because we would prefer to not involve religion in our ceremony and instead would like it to be focused on our commitment to each other and our love. However, my FI's parents are committed religious individuals and are very angry about the idea of not having a Christian officiant. Not only do they not like that our officiant is non-denominational but his dad said that since she is a female, he will not come to the wedding and that he will not invite my FI's grandma either. WTF?! Is that not the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard? Apparently in their religion, it is tradition for a man to marry the couple.. sexist much? 

Have you heard of this? Wth do I do? I don't want my FI's relationship to be ruined with his family but it is important to me that the ceremony is light-hearted, fun, creative and non-traditional. 

leia1979

I would hope the parents wouldn't follow through on that threat. I think it's better to have the right ceremony for you than a religious ceremony to appease someone else when you aren't religious. I don't know what religion they are, but I would also be surprised that there's a problem with a female officiant.

What does your FI want? You haven't said what he thinks about this situation.

caitlin.cave

I know of some sections of Christianity in which it's not okay to have female clergy.  It's silly, and not really biblical anyway.

I think at this point, I would say "I'm sorry that this decision might keep you away from our wedding, but we aren't comfortable having a religious ceremony, and you need to respect our decision even if you don't agree with it.  If this is such a big issue for you that you choose not to be present, we will miss you very much."

HULU

I was raised in a Christian househould, with Christian beliefs, and even I think that your FI's family is being ridiculous. I could understand them being upset (upset, not angry) that your FI has grown to not share their beliefs, but to say they will not go to the wedding at all is a bit much.

And as far as your celebrant being a woman, it sounds to me like their either A) Catholic or Incredibly old-school. I remember when I was younger, you didn't hear of female preachers, and if you did, some denominations frown upon that, saying that preaching is a "man's job". Umm, excuse me? God calls ALL people, of all ages, and all genders to "go forth and spread the gospel". If your celebrant were instead a religious preacher, would they still be upset that it's a woman, or are they just trying to stir the pot with this nonsense?

I wish I had some sort of advice, but all I can offer at this point is T&Ps and some good vibes headed yours and FI's way.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

I was basically thinking the same thing as you. 

My FI just wants to make everyone happy. He wants to have the ceremony with the Celebrant but he is really worried about what will happen with his family. He has a very small family. It is just him, his mom and his dad and they don't have a lot of relatives. 

And why would it not be okay to have a female officiate? He was literally outraged by the decision. 

Elle1036

Everything Leia said.

I'm not religious either, and I understand your situation.  FI's family are all Cajun French Catholics and, while his mom has accepted that our wedding will be secular and his dad really doesn't care, I'm worried that the rest of his family will be a little scandalized when they find out that our ceremony is outdoors by the lake instead of at a church.

Really, though, it's only our opinions that matter.  I would find that a lot harder to say, I'm sure, if it were his parents making trouble and not his extended family, but I would still feel that way.

If your FI's dad doesn't come to the ceremony because it's not religious, that will be his regret later down the road, not yours.  You and your FI need to be true to yourselves.  Hold your heads high and carry on with your plans.

And come vent on here when you feel the need.  I can definitely relate.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:e4afe7cd-cf43-4392-9a2b-11252bbcc4b0">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know of some sections of Christianity in which it's not okay to have female clergy.  It's silly, and not really biblical anyway. I think at this point, I would say "I'm sorry that this decision might keep you away from our wedding, but we aren't comfortable having a religious ceremony, and you need to respect our decision even if you don't agree with it.  If this is such a big issue for you that you choose not to be present, we will miss you very much."
Posted by caitlin.cave[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you for the advice.  I might just say this... but I'm nervous.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:9df10366-d648-4b2d-8c9e-344a76c6eefc">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was raised in a Christian househould, with Christian beliefs, and even I think that your FI's family is being ridiculous. I could understand them being upset (upset, not angry) that your FI has grown to not share their beliefs, but to say they will not go to the wedding at all is a bit much. And as far as your celebrant being a woman, it sounds to me like their either A) Catholic or B) Incredibly old-school. I remember when I was younger, you didn't hear of female preachers, and if you did, some denominations frown upon that, saying that preaching is a "man's job". Umm, excuse me? <strong>God calls ALL people, of all ages, and all genders to "go forth and spread the gospel". If your celebrant were instead a religious preacher, would they still be upset that it's a woman, or are they just trying to stir the pot with this nonsense? </strong>I wish I had some sort of advice, but all I can offer at this point is T&Ps and some good vibes headed yours and FI's way.
Posted by HULU[/QUOTE]

<div>At first, it was just about the officiant not being a religious preacher. But then my FI's dad found out that the officiant was a woman and he flipped a shiit. Thank you for giving your honest opinion, I would think no matter what religion you are, you should respect other people's religions even if you don't agree. Getting upset is understandable but angry? Wth.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:6b9a0c62-67ec-4f2c-a79d-0c830ef3f6cf">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Everything Leia said. I'm not religious either, and I understand your situation.  FI's family are all Cajun French Catholics and, while his mom has accepted that our wedding will be secular and his dad really doesn't care, I'm worried that the rest of his family will be a little scandalized when they find out that our ceremony is outdoors by the lake instead of at a church. Really, though, it's only our opinions that matter.  I would find that a lot harder to say, I'm sure, if it were his parents making trouble and not his extended family, but I would still feel that way. If your FI's dad doesn't come to the ceremony because it's not religious, that will be his regret later down the road, not yours.  You and your FI need to be true to yourselves.  Hold your heads high and carry on with your plans. And come vent on here when you feel the need.  I can definitely relate.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>What are you going to do?

</div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:af492284-3b8f-4305-91f1-926c4a660430">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : What are you going to do?
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]

For our officiant, you mean?

jaycee7389

Could you get married the way that you two planned and renew your vows with a minister/priest that they want? If you two don't believe in Christianity I feel it doesn't make sense, but if it will make them happy why not.

My family is Catholic and FI's is not, therefore we are not having a Catholic ceremony. My grandmother is insisting that we renew our vows a few months later with her church's priest.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:600b7003-21ba-4d8d-8090-f7a7ed65752b">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : For our officiant, you mean?
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah. It seems you have a similar dilemma.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

Oh, and another thing I'd like to add is that they plan on giving us a portion of the money for our wedding. I feel horrible for making that a reason to sway our opinion but with out their money, it's going to be really tough. Does that change anyone's opinions?

Elle1036

bIn Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:f7079c8e-a19d-4d4b-a527-c533e0dbb967">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and another thing I'd like to add is that they plan on giving us a portion of the money for our wedding. I feel horrible for making that a reason to sway our opinion but with out their money, it's going to be really tough. Does that change anyone's opinions?
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]
 
It does change things a little bit.  Money from parents is great, but it comes at a price (pun intended).  They do have some right to opine on how you use their money.  It sucks that they would do this to you either way, but yeah.  It sounds like you either need to reach some sort of compromise with them or find some way to pay for the wedding yourselves.  I'm sorry.

Since you asked, FI and I haven't actually booked our officiant yet.  FI originally really wanted to have a priest do it as a way to incorporate his and his family's beliefs.  I told him that if he could find a priest who would perform an outdoor, secular ceremony, then I would go along with it.  He has since accepted that's going to be impossible.

So we're just goin to find someone we're comfortable with and not worry about whether they have any religious affiliation.  Like I said, some of his aunts and cousins might side-eye us a little, but I doubt it will stop them from enjoying our open bar.

TheMutleys

I definitely think that no matter the two of you decide that your FI needs to be the one who is talking to his parents.  He needs to be the one to say "Mom and Dad, I love you.  I respect your religious beliefs.  I hope that you can accept that I do not share the same beliefs and therefore, I would not feel comfortable incorporating them into our wedding ceremony.  We want you to be there to support us.  We want you to be a part of our day.  However, we also need to be true to who we are.  It would not be truthful and honest for us to have a religious ceremony.  Please respect our decision and know that it is not meant to hurt you."  

I think that you need to be prepared for them to pull the $ if they object this strongly.  Personally, I would rather have a wedding that is true to my relationship than have one that isn't because of who is holding the purse strings.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:67e69670-56f3-412f-a76e-f2340acd5d38">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, I'll start my online ordination now.
Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]

So you're going to be my officiant/backup photographer/accessory designer/honorary bm?  That's a lot of titles.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

Elle, luckily my parents somewhat understand. They are upset about it but they will still be there to support us. We are so grateful that my parents are paying for the venue. Everything else like flowers, decorations, cake, rentals, vendors and such would be paid by us. We were really depending on some extra money to make things easier. If it comes down to it, we will just have to pay for the rest ourselves and not take a honeymoon The wedding is what is most important anyway. 

Mutley, I definitely agree that he needs to be the one that talks with them about it. It is not my place. I hope they will understand before the wedding, otherwise we will have to figure it out. And it's important that our wedding is something that we will remember with good memories... and not wishing that we had something else.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:fa3649cd-51b8-497d-bccf-12913bcf4ba7">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]The ceremony is one of things that is ONLY about the couple at their wedding.  I strongly believe that no one else should have any opinion about how a couple chooses to get married.  If your FI's parents feels that strongly that they will no longer contribute the wedding, I'd wave that money goodbye and say "good riddance."   I am not religious, I identify with atheism for the most part, but it's not really a huge deal to me either way.  Religion has NO part in the relationship that FI and I have, and will not be a factor in our marriage.  Our children will not be raised under his religion, and this is something we agreed on before we got engaged.  (He was raised Catholic, but he doesn't attend church or go to confession or practice in any way.  I promised I did not force or pressure him into anything.) FI's family will have an opinion about us not getting married in a church, but TBH I don't care.  We're having a ceremony that is us .  His parents and siblings know who we are and how our relationship is, and have been surprisingly "supportive" of our outdoor ceremony.  (I say supportive in quotes because I couldn't figure out how to phrase it better - but basically they weren't upset when we said we were having an outdoor ceremony and haven't say anything negative to us about it.  I'm not actually sure if they know that we are not having a religious ceremony at all, but these are details that I wouldn't share with them anyway.  FI will be the second of his family members not to be married in the Catholic Church, the first to not be married in any church.) I don't agree with Jaycee's suggestion to renew your vows just for someone else.  If they aren't your beliefs, then you would be lying to the church and the priest.  <strong>As much as I don't believe in God, I respect religions and would never disrespect someone's beliefs by promising things I cannot do and do not believe.  This is why the only condition I had about getting married to FI was that we were not going to have a religious ceremony, or do it in a church.  </strong>
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly how I feel. I just want a wedding that we will be us.  I'm so happy that most of you have similar beliefs to us, it's awesome hearing all of your opinions. </div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

Yaga, what kind of officiant are going to have?

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:004376ce-4474-4da1-add6-013ba4a28033">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? :<strong> Me too.  I had a lot of people ask me why I wouldn't just get married in a church for FI, and I was really upset at that question.  Why would I have to be the only one to compromise my beliefs "just because" I happen to not believe in God.  Aren't my personal beliefs just as important? </strong>  I never understood why people would ask me that question.  It wasn't like he was upset about not getting married in a church or anything, I just mentioned that he was raised Catholic and that I was not.  People automatically assume that I should just do it in the church.   If it was important to him to get married in the church, we probably would not have dated for so long and would not be getting married.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

OMG this.

FI's sister used to talk a lot of crap (most of it behind my back) about my lack of religion.  Once when I confronted her about it, I said "I don't try to talk you out of your beliefs; why can't you do me the same courtesy?" and she just looked at me with this doesnotcompute look on her face.  So many people just seem unable to understand that, just because I'm not religious, that doesn't mean that I haven't thought about religion and made a conscious choice.  Ugh.

bsidebella

Would it be at all possible to have your female Celebrant and a minister? This is very common with interfaith marriages. I am Jewish and told FI before we got engaged that I wanted a Jewish ceremony with a rabbi. He and his family are okay with this (he has also since converted to Judaism). However, my cousin is marrying a Christian, and they are having both a rabbi and a priest officiate to please both sides of the family. They plan on incorporating Jewish and Christian elements into their ceremony. Would you be comfortable with that option?

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:7134aa35-23ea-4e43-b332-078d5e1139b1">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Would it be at all possible to have your female Celebrant and a minister? This is very common with interfaith marriages. I am Jewish and told FI before we got engaged that I wanted a Jewish ceremony with a rabbi. He and his family are okay with this (he has also since converted to Judaism). However, my cousin is marrying a Christian, and they are having both a rabbi and a priest officiate to please both sides of the family. They plan on incorporating Jewish and Christian elements into their ceremony. Would you be comfortable with that option?
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

This is a great idea actually. Except what do I tell the Celebrant about why there has to me a minister there too? She said that she would be able to combine any religions we needed. I can't tell her, "Sorry, you aren't good enough for our family because you are not a male so we also have to have a male." KWIM?

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:95a6d2d1-1271-4956-8573-9e910a9f021c">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : OMG this. FI's sister used to talk a lot of crap (most of it behind my back) about my lack of religion.  Once when I confronted her about it, I said "I don't try to talk you out of your beliefs; why can't you do me the same courtesy?" and she just looked at me with this doesnotcompute look on her face.  <strong>So many people just seem unable to understand that, just because I'm not religious, that doesn't mean that I haven't thought about religion and made a conscious choice. </strong> Ugh.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>Omg this. Someone once told me that when I get older, I will understand. That once I reach that moment in life, it will all make sense. That person also told me that I didn't know what faith was and that basically I had no passion. She talked to me like I was drug-addict, convincing me against sticking needles in my arm.</div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:cc4fed37-1942-4720-91f9-69a36c2eebe0">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Omg this. <strong>Someone once told me that when I get older, I will understand. That once I reach that moment in life, it will all make sense. </strong>That person also told me that I didn't know what faith was and that basically I had no passion. She talked to me like I was drug-addict, convincing me against sticking needles in my arm.
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]

I frickin' hate that condescending BS.  FI's aunt told me once that she was sorry I had been "led so far astray".  Ummm, what?  Nobody led me anwhere I didn't want to go, thank you very much, and who are you to decide what direction is "astray"?

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:fddeb82a-6349-435c-990c-0af09341b3a2">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : This is a great idea actually. Except what do I tell the Celebrant about why there has to me a minister there too? She said that she would be able to combine any religions we needed. I can't tell her, "Sorry, you aren't good enough for our family because you are not a male so we also have to have a male." KWIM?
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]



Part of a marraige is combining beliefs - like my cousin and her FI. Tell your Celebrant that your FI's family is religious and would prefer it if a minister was present. I'm sure this has happened to her before and it really shouldn't be a big deal.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:41045a3a-311d-49d5-92c8-d5bd77c63d26">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Part of a marraige is combining beliefs - like my cousin and her FI. Tell your Celebrant that your FI's family is religious and would prefer it if a minister was present. I'm sure this has happened to her before and it really shouldn't be a big deal.
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not about having a minister really at this point. It's more about whether the officiant being male or female. Their belief, for whatever reason I don't know, is that a woman isn't supposed to officiate a wedding. So my FI's dad told us that unless we have a man officiating our wedding, he is not coming and neither is my FI's grandma.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:6248c01b-924a-430c-982c-c595e525d25f">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : I frickin' hate that condescending BS.  FI's aunt told me once that she was sorry I had been "led so far astray".  Ummm, what?  Nobody led me anwhere I didn't want to go, thank you very much, and who are you to decide what direction is "astray"?
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly. I hate when people have an opinion about something only because that this what they think they should believe based on their affiliation. They don't even think the options through and just stick to what they think is right. Why can't we all just have our beliefs and be accepted and/or respected. It makes me angry sometimes... especially when my sister is a suck up and says, "Don't worry daddy, I'm going to get married at the church you and mommy got married in." Wtf?</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5f2a967e-878a-4520-91ce-48b99e4a34aePost:1089d2ea-071a-47b9-87d3-cd22eece0851">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bside I see what you're saying, but Missing's FI doesn't want a Christian ceremony - it's his parents.  I don't think she should have to have a second officiant just because her FILs have a strong opinion about the wedding ceremony.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah. And now we have to have a male Celebrant because his dad won't come to wedding if we have a female Celebrant. </div>

kellyt89

This is appalling. I think Mutley said it best. You need to do what you and FI are comfortable with and not give in to his parents because they're being bullies, because it's always going to be something - If you have kids, what are they going to do if you decide not to baptize them or not raise them with a religious background?

I think this is the time to put up a united front on what your religious beliefs are, whether or not they pull their $$ out or decide not to come. (I honestly can't see someone really not showing up to their son's wedding but...who knows).

That being said, my parents are Catholic, BF's parents are very Catholic, BF is Catholic and I'm nothing specific/looking into Reform Judaism. So I'm sure planning a wedding ceremony when the time comes is going to be a big headache...maybe I'll have a different answer when I've actually dealt with it.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

mymissingpuzzlepiece

Do you guys think I should give in to having a male celebrant or should we stick to female because that is what I want?

bsidebella

Hmm. I guess I kind of misunderstood. I thought if they had two officiants it would please everyone, especially since his parents are helping to foot the bill. This is just so odd to me, because my rabbi is a woman and I've known her almost my entire life. I know in other sects of Judaism, female rabbis are not allowed (like in the Hasidic community), but many other sects are very rapidly becoming more liberal and accepting. Edit: I also agree with yaga up there Also, not to threadjack, but: kelly, I'm a Reform Jew, and my FI converted Reform as well, so if you have any questions regarding a possible conversion, you can PM me. I can help you with resources if you'd like, or answer any questions.