Not Engaged Yet

Moving in together.

I haven't posted in a while because I've been enjoying my relationship as is and dealing with some personal and family issues. Before I mentioned that my father got diagnosed with CHF. Well just recently he also got diagnosed with Heart Failure and has a really bad case of pneumonia. I guess he's realizing some things and have given me the south house to live in permanently. He also has said that bf can come live with me no strings attached. This action is nothing like my dad normally. He would normally be adamant that we be married first, but I think he see's how happy I am and more importantly how much my son loves my bf.

Anyways, my boyfriend's lease is up in November and he's going to come live with us. What are any good tips to make this move in transition well? I do realize that it is a couple months away. But November is a very busy month for me and i have an almost two year old so if there is any books you recommend or things to do to prep for this next step, please let me know below. What would take a normal person a few weeks now takes me a few months! Thanks in advance!!!
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Re: Moving in together.

  • It helps if you're open about your expectations.

    When we moved in together, I knew BF was a neat freak (he still is) but he also knew my "organizational skills" are...well, not neat freak-like, ya know?  Occasionally he does make me organize my madness, but it's not too bad. 

    I also taught him to cook when I got a job that gave me nighttime hours, haha.  So I mean, that was fun.

    I'm not sure about parenting stuff, but since your son loves your BF, it should be good, I'd think.  Obviously if something happened, you'd have to explain it to your son, but I'm sure you can do that if necessary (and hopefully it's not!)

    Oh, and it helps if you have your own hobbies/space too.  We usually do most things together, but there are definitely times when we're just off on our own.

    Sorry for the bit of random advice, but hopefully something is helpful :)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • For me, since it is my house and filled with all of my stuff, one thing I felt like eased the transition was just to make room for him. We were together a lot anyways before moving in so we weren't expecting anything to really change about how we interacted.
    I would take these months to begin cleaning out closets and organizing in general so when he moves in he doesn't feel like it's just your house, I would want him to feel like this is our place now. Think about what he is brining with him and where it can go so that he isn't stuck living out of his suitcase because you have taken up all the closet space. Good luck =)

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  • Definitely be clear about your expectations as far as sharing housework and bills.  Also, I'm sure you'll also need to discuss a bit about your expectations with your son as far as his 'parenting' limits (ie, discipline, schedule, etc).  I don't know of any books to help guide those talks, but since you have a few more months to discuss it, I think that should be enough time to set some general guidelines before he moves in and will help keep that line of communication open to make minor adjustments when you are all settled in. 
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