Not Engaged Yet

Breaking up with friends... again.

I know we've been over this a few times recently, and I've even given people advice on the topic, but it still sucks when it's you.

I have a friend, who I work with, and we've been friends for about six years now. I introduced her to my cousin about 2.5 years ago, because they were both looking for places to live, so they moved in together. Now, my cousin is a total Judgey McJudgerson, and we have had our issues over the years. I can never do anything right in her eyes - whether it's work, dating, living, etc. A couple of months ago, I cut ties with her... I had finally met someone who made me happy, I was in a good place with life, and she was still able to find something to nag at me about. I decided that having someone toxic like that in my life just wasn't worth it anymore.

Work Friend is similar, but less overt with her judging. She is the type of person who just can't seem to be happy for anyone else because she isn't happy. She wants to be married with kids last week, and her BF is dragging his feet on proposing.

Anyway, since the whole fallout with my cousin, Work Friend has been disappearing. We used to go to lunch at least once a week, usually more, email during the day, visit each other's offices, etc. Lately - nothing. She'll walk right past my office without so much as a "hello."

I emailed her last week, asking if something was wrong - and she wrote back "Sorry! On a conference call!" and then never responded again. Today I sent her another one that said "So are you defriending me in real life because I got another tattoo (**she always jokingly threatens to do this, because she hates them**) or is something else going on? Because I would rather just know than have someone who I have considered a really good friend for a long time just disappear from my life."

I haven't heard back from her. I'm guessing my cousin has something to do with it, but that could also be me being paranoid because I always feel like my cousin is undermining me. Part of me wants to not care, because I feel like she hasn't been a great friend to me, but at the same time, it's the whole - no one ever wants to lose a friend.

Bottom line, it sucks :-(



*******************************************************************************************




Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: Breaking up with friends... again.

  • That bites. I feel like we all need a glass of wine right now...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • Hug.  We love you.  And your cousin sounds like the Queen of Suck.
  • elanniselannis member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    I'm sorry, Bri ... that does sound like she may be influenced by your cousin. I think if she's going to do that, then you deserve a better friend. Why do IRL friends suck so much?

    My BFF is awesome, but she has a lot of issues and it's constantly bringing me down. She refuses help and is just so pessimistic. It's like she refuses to find anything to be happy about. Speak of the devil, she just texted complaining about her parents.

    I wish I lived closer to you all! lol
    -Ely

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • She sounds like a giant poopy face. I'm sorry you're sad Bri. Unicorns?
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • If you're friend is ignoring you because of your cousin, I say that you need neither of them in your life.  Surround yourself with people who can be happy for you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:7033afdf-89df-4115-b0e0-dd2e84a40e64">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]She sounds like a giant poopy face. I'm sorry you're sad Bri. Unicorns?
    Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]


    Hahaha I love how unicorns can be the answer to any problem!
  • I love you guys. Seriously. Wine & unicorns would be amazing.

    I'm picturing us riding unicorns, Anchorman style, over rainbows, and drinking wine.

    And yes, Cousin is the Queen of Suck. I have been MUCH happier since I cut her out of my life. But I still feel like she needs a swift kick in the baby maker.



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:a6292375-0360-4c14-a49e-617035f7a953">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love you guys. Seriously. Wine & unicorns would be amazing. I'm picturing us riding unicorns, Anchorman style, over rainbows, and drinking wine. And yes, Cousin is the Queen of Suck. I have been MUCH happier since I cut her out of my life. But I still feel like she needs a swift kick in the baby maker.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is the second time I have offered someone this today (Liv being the first): I will donkeypunch her in the ovaries for you.</div>
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:a6292375-0360-4c14-a49e-617035f7a953">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love you guys. Seriously. Wine & unicorns would be amazing. I'm picturing us riding unicorns, Anchorman style, over rainbows, and drinking wine. And yes, Cousin is the Queen of Suck. I have been MUCH happier since I cut her out of my life. <strong>But I still feel like she needs a swift kick in the baby maker</strong>.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

     Unicorn style!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:d751c5c6-f9c5-404b-ba9f-6edc5dfd16aa">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you're friend is ignoring you because of your cousin, I say that you need neither of them in your life.  Surround yourself with people who can be happy for you.
    Posted by motoLyn[/QUOTE]

    <div>This exactly. </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    Life is good today.
  • Oh, my puppy fever!!  I want one of those sleeping puppies so bad!  They're so cute and soft and fuzzy looking!
    -Ely

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • I mean we can ride them, but I was thinking more along the lines of sending my red eyed band of unicorns to impale the bitches. But riding them is good too!
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:49b97161-0f50-43cf-a668-cf3800342353">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mean we can ride them, but I was thinking more along the lines of sending my red eyed band of unicorns to impale the bitches. But riding them is good too!
    Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

    This literally made me snort laugh in my office. Can we ride the red-eyed unicorns while they impale the bitches? It could get messy, but I'd really like to watch.



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:2ba854ac-e095-4c52-b83f-bb2c16db7b17">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : This literally made me snort laugh in my office. Can we ride the red-eyed unicorns while they impale the bitches? It could get messy, but I'd really like to watch.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    That's why ponchos were invented, if it works in the splash zone at seaworld and the first few rows of that comedian smashing watermelons it will work for impaling bitches on unicorn horns. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:9e94b3c6-1ab6-442d-8632-750bb3cf7a50">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : That's why ponchos were invented, if it works in the splash zone at seaworld and the first few rows of that comedian smashing watermelons it will work for impaling bitches on unicorn horns. 
    Posted by motoLyn[/QUOTE]

    I.LOVE.YOU.



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • Your cousin sounds exactly like mine! I'd join in on the unicorn frenzy!! Mean people are the suck.
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • Her cop-out excuses:

    1. She is still close with people that I used to be close with, and she feels bad that I am not included in those plans anymore. (Uh, sure. So you're admitting to me that you're making time for other friends, but making zero effort in hanging out with me. Awesome.) These people include Crazy Cousin. I told her straight out that I had a feeling there would be sides taken in that situation, and that it doesn't surprise me that she went that way.
    2. That she thinks my promotion is a really good opportunity for me to prove myself. And she doesn't want to "be a distraction" to me at work. I told her that if she had talked to me recently, she would know that I'm really unhappy and that I don't want to be here.

    I also told her that it hurts that she doesn't know anything about what's been going on with me & BF, or with my stupid sister & family, or anything.



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • I just spent two hours chasing a rare form of landshark.  Would you like me to send him to them to eat them?
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!

    I'm super low maintenance - give me a drink and make me laugh and I'm all yours. I make great snacks, I give superb sex advice, and I'll never judge you for farting.

    It's really win-win.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:2ba854ac-e095-4c52-b83f-bb2c16db7b17">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : This literally made me snort laugh in my office. Can we ride the red-eyed unicorns while they impale the bitches? It could get messy, but I'd really like to watch.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    Sweetie...we can do whatever you'd like. :) You let me know when and where and me and my Unicorns of Terror will be there.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • Peek - yes. And also, is there anyway you can hook me up with some dolphin people? I really want to swim with dolphins.

    Sousa - hey, if I passed your tests at Margaritas last week, you definitely passed mine!! :-) Also, I'm alone in the office & I just farted in my leather desk chair, and it echoed. And it made me laugh.

    ....is this why my friends leave me??



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:94d8566e-da5b-40ae-8e22-91312dfa54d4">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Her cop-out excuses: 1. She is still close with people that I used to be close with, and she feels bad that I am not included in those plans anymore. (Uh, sure. So you're admitting to me that you're making time for other friends, but making zero effort in hanging out with me. Awesome.) These people include Crazy Cousin. I told her straight out that I had a feeling there would be sides taken in that situation, and that it doesn't surprise me that she went that way. 2. That she thinks my promotion is a really good opportunity for me to prove myself. And she doesn't want to "be a distraction" to me at work. I told her that if she had talked to me recently, she would know that I'm really unhappy and that I don't want to be here. I also told her that it hurts that she doesn't know anything about what's been going on with me & BF, or with my stupid sister & family, or anything.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    No likey. I agree. She sounds like a copout. I say unicorn kick in her in her girls bits and move on.
    My response to her would be this:
    1) Why aren't <strong><em>you</em></strong> inviting me? Just say it... we're better admitting we need some time apart.
    2) She might be sad or jealous that she didn't get the promotion and doesn't know how to tell you that without making you feel guilty.
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:054ac604-6b7e-424d-842a-c9674adfd6f2">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Peek - yes. And also, is there anyway you can hook me up with some dolphin people? I really want to swim with dolphins. Sousa - hey, if I passed your tests at Margaritas last week, you definitely passed mine!! :-) Also, I'm alone in the office & I just farted in my leather desk chair, and it echoed. And it made me laugh. ....<strong>is this why my friends leave me??
    </strong>Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    If it is, they clearly don't understand the point of friendship. Friends high-five each other when farts occur.
  • That's the best part of having your own office!!
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:a291be3a-8327-41c7-8d47-fa2f17923571">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : If it is, they clearly don't understand the point of friendship. Friends high-five each other when farts occur.
    Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

    I triple heart you
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
  • Nursey - we work in different departments, so she wasn't a consideration for the promotion. She works with our student-athletes on academics, while I do media relations. But your other point is spot on.

    Sousa - INTERNET HIGH FIVE!

    Tarra - Old IRL friends are jealous because our internet friends are becoming New IRL friends and are infinitely way better than them. That's my theory, anyway.



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:a291be3a-8327-41c7-8d47-fa2f17923571">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : If it is, they clearly don't understand the point of friendship. Friends high-five each other when farts occur.
    Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Dude, my BFF and I discuss how our poops go.  It's just what friendship IS.</div>
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_breaking-up-friends-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:62cb0c05-4538-448a-a6ec-24b15492ffdfPost:ce783063-1f1f-4157-bf67-96f0954aa538">Re: Breaking up with friends... again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breaking up with friends... again. : Dude, my BFF and I discuss how our poops go.  It's just what friendship IS.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah me and all 3 of my closest BFF's have talked about farting and how our poops go...if you can't trust someone with your poops well then there's just no relationship there!


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • *hugs*  I am so sorry Bri.  Really that sucks.  I agree with Nursey, call her on it, make her pick her balls up and tell you why she isn't talking to you. 

    And if you need me too, I know some scary Hockey players who could run her down for you...
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards