Not to jack my past thread....

lennonkdc

But the whole 'wedding budget v. budget wedding' thing got me wondering what you ladies think about wedding spending. I know that many of you are planning, and I'm wondering:

-where do you think the line between sophisticated and ostentatious is? 

-What areas are important for you and FI to splurge on? Where are you saving?

-Will your marriage still be valid if you don't have personalized water, napkins, gift bags, matches or 'Future Mrs. X' t-shirts? (hehe)

-What to you makes a wedding elegant and fancy v. what makes a wedding Klassy?

Blue & White

Budget is really important to me (in life, not just wedding planning...)  Here are my thoughts from a totally sane NEY person

-where do you think the line between sophisticated and ostentatious is? I think good food and a good time had by all is sophisticated.  I think individual ice sculptures at the tables would be ostentatious.  Although my cousin had an ice sculpture and it was awesome, so ya know..details.

-What areas are important for you and FI to splurge on? Where are you saving?  Food is my number one priority.  Music is BF's since he used to be a DJ.  I imagine that would mean we'd save anywhere else we could.  My mom's dress was a white dress from a department store and she wore flowers in her hair.  So I can be like her, haha

-Will your marriage still be valid if you don't have personalized water, napkins, gift bags, matches or 'Future Mrs. X' t-shirts? (hehe)  Hellz no.  Actually, I think my marriage won't be valid if I wear a Future Mrs X anything.  So Hellz yes.

-What to you makes a wedding elegant and fancy v. what makes a wedding Klassy?  Good food = elegant and fancy.  Klassy = drunk MIL trying to feel up BMs or something. 

But what do I know?  I'm just a guest at most weddings now.

That being said, mini tiramisu desserts were the best thing I've ever seen at a wedding.  They were delicious.  I feel like a foodie. 

AudgiePodge

If you have (or are given) the money, I don't care how you choose to use it.  Just don't bring it up in every conversation.

H wanted to pick the food, and he did.  And it was awesome.

We had personalized napkins, toasting flutes and cake knife and server.  And personalized M&Ms with our names, pictures and wedding date.  AND ALSO personalized stamps of a picture of us for our invitations.  Pretty much anything we could personalize, we did.  Almost.

Everyone's opinions are going to differ on what makes and elegant or trashy wedding/reception, but if you like it, it shouldn't matter much what others think.

CASK85

-where do you think the line between sophisticated and ostentatious is? I don't have a good answer for this one. It absolutely depends on how you were raised and what your social circle is like, I think. For me it becomes ostentatious when you have things like multiple performers at a wedding reception. . . it isn't a damn circus.
-What areas are important for you and FI to splurge on? Where are you saving?Splurge: photographer, food and boozeSave: DIY flowers, DIY music, small-ish guest list, smaller cake
-Will your marriage still be valid if you don't have personalized water, napkins, gift bags, matches or 'Future Mrs. X' t-shirts? (hehe)I hate that shiit.
-What to you makes a wedding elegant and fancy v. what makes a wedding Klassy?elegant: candles, good food, understated color palettes, small wedding parties, family focused, live musicklassy: huge trailing bouquets, fog machines, ugly bridesmaid dresses, 20 person wedding parties (at least in my opinion), drunk asss brides, cheesey DJs.

swhite2012

-where do you think the line between sophisticated and ostentatious is? I can't really pinpoint one exactly. It is more of a "Have to be there" kind of thing. I also think execution is important.
-What areas are important for you and FI to splurge on? Where are you saving?We want to make sure the food is good and we have good alcohol (both of our families have big drinkers). Photography is also really important to us, but it ended up being something that we saved on because we found someone fabulous for about 1000 less than the ones we were originally going to go with. We are saving on DJ and flowers because they are being done by family/friends who are giving us a deal. We are also keeping it fairly small.(ETA: We really haven't ended up splurging on anything really, just prioritizing. And my dress was cheaper than I was looking to spend!)
-Will your marriage still be valid if you don't have personalized water, napkins, gift bags, matches or 'Future Mrs. X' t-shirts? (hehe)Haha, well I don't think we are going to have any of that, so I sure hope so!
-What to you makes a wedding elegant and fancy v. what makes a wedding Klassy?Elegant for me is keeping it simple. Klassy is a see through Pnina Tornai dress costing $25,000...lol

CCO2012

Coming from a NEY but has been engaged before perspective...

-where do you think the line between sophisticated and ostentatious is?
Khloe Kardashian, sophisticated...  Kim Kardashian, ostentatious.

-What areas are important for you and BF  to splurge on? Where are you saving?
We have discussed budgets etc. so we can save and what not, but both have expressed that good food, good music and decent booze are most important to us.

-Will your marriage still be valid if you don't have personalized water, napkins, gift bags, matches or 'Future Mrs. X' t-shirts? (hehe)
Hell yes! I don't think we will do any of that crap! I wouldn't mind a Mrs. hoodie though, ya know for the day of and honey moon flight

-What to you makes a wedding elegant and fancy v. what makes a wedding
Klassy?
Random crap that is a waste of money. If your guest think it is wasteful, that is bad!!!! BF and I have discussed not having traditional guest gifts and instead giving more experience type things in the reception. I think everyone would enjoy that more!

lennonkdc

-In general I think that sophisticated is a 'less is more' sort of thing, where simple but quality design elements are allowed to speak for themselves. Ostentatious, to me, is 'more for the sake of more' or 'more for the sake of showing off'. 

-Again, from an NEY stand point BF and I would spend on food, band, booze and photography. Flowers, invites, chair covers, ect are all areas where we try to save.

- If my guests can't figure out who's wedding they are at I will not be spending hard earned cash to remind them

-Elegant/Fancy- good lighting, good food, relaxed and happy guests. Klassy- drunk bride/groom/WP; inappropriate toasts; cash bar/ making guests pay for dinner. 

csousa1

For some reason this post is making me think a lot about my sister's wedding next September. Probably because it is the only wedding I have helped start to plan. They were supposed to get married this September originally, but postponed to save up more.

They are having it at a rustic lodge type place in NH, everything blue and neutral toned (may be the reason I was so obsessed with Elle's color palette), with a lot of birch accents that they will find themselves on a family friend's property. The favors are going to be birch sticks with a blue handkerchief tied on the end filled with everything to make s'mores, because they can have a camp fire in the field of the venue. How freakin cute is that?

Anyway, it made me think of them because someone mentioned rustic, and that is exactly what sis and FBIL are going for. I think rustic and simple weddings - that have great food and music, and some good booze - are the best possible weddings.

Peaseblossom55

This is a good question.  The BF & I are not wedding planning so I don't know.  Budgets are important to me, so I would want to keep whatever we did within reason.   I don't think my wedding would be less special because we didn't have personalized toasting flutes or something.  I don't think it matters if you spend $10,000 or $100,000 either!

As long it is discussed between the couple what is and isn't important to them for the day not too much else matters.  I think the wedding industry has made a lot things recently more important then say when my mom got married.  Like save the dates- my mom did have them and everything turned out fine.

I think as long as the wedding is what the couples wants and they keep their guests in mind.  It will be interesting to see what happens and how things turn out for the BF & I some day!!