I just need to vent! (kind of long)

bethsmiles

Although i have my faith religion isn't something I want to debate or that I am that comfortable discussing with most people. Plus I was always taught that its not really a part of polite conversation especially since growing up where I did most of my friends were a different religion. And even though that particular religion is a big part of the community I grew up in it never affected my friendships because we all knew how to respect each other's beliefs. Well my bf has a friend who is very religious. He actually leads the bible study my bf goes to on Fridays. Me and him have never been really close but we've always gotten along. So when we were talking the other night I was not expecting the conversation to take the turn that it did.

For some reason he thought it would 1) be ok to bring up religion with me and 2) he thought the best way to do this was to tell me that my friends are going to hell and that its my fault for not preaching God's word to them. I'm still just astounded that he would say this. I love my friends, they are so close to me and have helped me through so many hard times. They are truly amazing people. So I simply told him that I understood where he was coming from but my personal beliefs were that my friends were not going to hell. So he called my bf to tell him he shouldnt be with me because my faith isnt strong enough! My bf was a man about it and told him that our relationship was none of his concern

I am just so mad right now. Obviously Im not going to say anything more to him, I know its just better to let it go and move on. I just needed to vent. Feel free to tell me I'm being immature or anything else...I really value most of the opinions you ladies have

ShiroNeko

And that's why I never talk about religion or politics. 

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_just-need-vent-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:640c47e3-f735-4a8c-ad68-338887f78d87Post:22c94ddf-73a5-4948-91e9-3d236e45ffca">Re: I just need to vent! (kind of long)</a>:
[QUOTE]And that's why I never talk about religion or politics. 
Posted by ShiroNeko[/QUOTE]

I wish  everyone avoided those topics in general conversation! it almost never goes well.

KD+BC

Sorry you had to deal with that! You handled it better than I would have!

zaneopal

I was raised the same way you were, Beth (aside: isn't that the greatest name ever? It's mine too haha). Though my family's not especially religious, they did always raise my sister and myself to believe that religion -- and politics and money for that matter -- are rude conversation topics and best kept private.

The best you can do is what we've always been taught: turn the other cheek.

bajediva

personally, i think it's a pity that people have to avoid certain topics of discussion. i myself love a hearty debate, but that is usually not what it turns out to be - it seems being fully persuaded with your own convictions and fully respecting another's convictions are rarely co-existent.

somebody in this scenario is immature, but it's not you. i've encountered similar personalities before, and i try to bear in mind that they don't have malicious intent, they honestly believe they're doing the right thing. and then i stay the hell away from them before i say/do something that will compromise my own faith.

katanne9

FI and I are also religious, and both attended a Christian college.... meaning I've run into plenty of unfortunate incidents like yours. Just hold true to what you believe and ignore him.

And yes, he is ridiculously rude to have intruded and called your BF. He has no right to impede his personal opinions on the 2 of you. Sorry you have to deal with that!!

babybchbum

I'm sorry that you had to deal with this. This guy had no right to call your BF and try to intrude on territory he shouldn't in the 1st place.

You and BF handled this situation way better than i would have. And to that I'll pass the champagne and Orange Juice.

kelseyd625

I can't believe someone would ever say that! It's called religious tolerance people. UGH!

I'm a christian too, but just because I believe a certain thing, does not mean everyone else in the world should or that you're not living like a christian and failing God. If you're condemning other people to hell just because they were born into a different family/believe different things, the that person is the one at fault.

emmyroo

I agree that I can't believe a person would say that as well!  It especially irritates me when a Christian says that.  I'm Christian as well, but more spiritual than religious (I have some issues with organized religion at times).  My personal belief is that it is not my place to tell someone where they are going (hell or otherwise) because that job only belongs to God.  I focus on the fact that the Bible (specifically the new testament) tells me to love my neighbor.  And that's not just the neighbors that I like, or the ones that think like I do, it's all of them.  Judging is not loving.  I often find that it's Christians like those that give others a bad taste in their mouths about Christianity.

bethsmiles

Thanks...Im pretty much over it now. I was just really mad at first but its really just his problem so I'll just have to remember to talk to him less.

JennaGrace

I'm sorry that you are so upset! Obviously, your boyfriend is taking some steps to deepen his faith through this bible study and it is important enough to him to go every Friday. It sounds like his friend cares a lot about him and is just watching out for his and your future. Marriage is forever. So if you and your boyfriend have different views on how seriously you take your faith then you need to have a major talk. 

I don't think your boyfriend's friend should have told you that your friends were going to hell and he shouldn't have called your boyfriend to tell him not to marry you either. My question is, what are your beliefs? If you have trusted Jesus and you are going to heaven then don't you want to see your friends there too? I guess that's what made your boyfriend's friend upset. He probably can't understand why you wouldn't want your friends to spend eternity with Jesus as well. 

To me it sounds like your boyfriend is pretty good friends with this guy, so maybe you should try to honor that friendship. Your boy's friendships are important and they keep him happy And remember that your friendships are just as important!

Okay well to me it sounds like your boy is staying true to you and no matter what his buddies say he's not going anywhere. Don't let this get you so mad you forget how happy you two are together! 

As for the talking about religion thing...don't be afraid of it. It's something you and your boyfriend HAVE to talk about if you want to have a bright future. And I think you should talk to your friends. Jesus came to this earth to take our sins on himself and die for us so that we can be forgiven and live forever with him and our friends in heaven! Its a wonderful FREE gift! Why not share it? Jesus offers us life and life to the fullest. This life starts now. If you are living this life you shouldn't keep it to yourself. His love is amazing. 

If you have any questions about all this please ask me or another follower of Jesus that desires to share his love!