Not Engaged Yet

There are no words...

So my cousin is getting married in October.  And she apparently is not having a bridal party, except for a MOH, which will be her sister.  Yet she apparently is telling all of the rest of us cousins to go out and buy dresses in her wedding color.  We aren't going to be her BMs, but we are being required to go out and buy dresses in her wedding colors.

Her sister did this when she got married, but I was too young to complain.  But now I'm like seriously, WTF?!  I don't think I should have to go out and buy a dress in a specific color if I'm not in the BP.

What are your thoughts?
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Re: There are no words...

  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO IT?! IT'S HER DAY! STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF@!
    I'm not good at feelings.

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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Haha... if I already owned a dress that I liked in that basic color scheme, I'd wear it just to keep the peace.  Otherwise, I'd just ignore her.

    ETA: My FSILs have all asked if they can wear coordinated dresses, as we're not having a wedding party.  I told them I'll give them the color scheme, and they're welcome to pick colors out in that scheme if they want, whether they match each other or not.  It's a cute idea, but only when someone volunteers - I'd never ASK someone to buy a certain color dress! 

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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Lame, but she's family, so I would suck it up and do it. Smile Check out the sales. Everyone's got crazy clearances going on right now. Wouldn't you think about getting a new dress anyway for a wedding? It's the perfect excuse!

    Them's mah thotz.

    ETA: If money is a big concern, never mind.
  • edited December 2011
    Apparently the excuse is that BM dresses are super expensive, so she wants us to not have to bear the cost.  But that's horseshit.  If she wants us to be BMs, we'd be BMs if we bought our own dresses.  She's just being a brat.
  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:2772ff97-8354-4959-82c0-677d64a9ff4a">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Apparently the excuse is that BM dresses are super expensive, so she wants us to not have to bear the cost.  But that's horseshit.  If she wants us to be BMs, we'd be BMs if we bought our own dresses.  She's just being a brat.
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]


    That's weird...
  • edited December 2011
    I think it's a strange request. I did have a girlfriend that asked the entire guest list to wear black and white. She placed a small card in the invitation that said "black and white attire requested". She wanted all pictures to look coordinated. I personally wouldn't go for that...but I don't think it's hard for most people to wear black and/or white. Still they are guests...not your personal dress-up dolls.
  • edited December 2011
    OH MY GOD I FINALLY UNDERSTAND IT, the bride's family is CHEAP and doesn't want to pay for the extra bouquets, hair, shoes, gifts, etc. so this is their way of getting around the expense!
  • edited December 2011
    I think that is ridiculous.  What's the color?

    At least it wasn't part of the invitation that went out to EVERYONE.  And yes, this is what my cousin did.  They requested that everyone where semi-formal attire in red, black or white.  It took all of me to not wear a freaking hot pink dress.  Instead, I wore a black dress with a ton of cleavage. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:b5007394-a543-4a6f-9f7a-b6eec3dd5d6a">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that is ridiculous.  What's the color? At least it wasn't part of the invitation that went out to EVERYONE.  And yes, this is what my cousin did.  They requested that everyone where semi-formal attire in red, black or white.  It took all of me to not wear a freaking hot pink dress.  Instead, I wore a black dress with a ton of cleavage. 
    Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

    <div>I haven't been dictated to what the color will be yet.  But that's a good point, I can wear a slutty dress as a "screw you".</div>
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That is ridic.  Unless you are buying a new dress and find one in that color that you like, I wouldn't do it.  I haven't been told what to wear since I was like 4, and no one is going to start telling me now!  Tongue out

    If the reason is that they're cheap and don't want to buy flowers, etc., I think that makes even less sense.  Will you be standing by her as her wedding party, but not be a BM?  I am confused.  Are you going to be an unofficial BM???
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:c9b4726a-6db0-4732-81d3-74c10b119bb7">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]That is ridic.  Unless you are buying a new dress and find one in that color that you like, I wouldn't do it.  I haven't been told what to wear since I was like 4, and no one is going to start telling me now!  If the reason is that they're cheap and don't want to buy flowers, etc., I think that makes even less sense.  Will you be standing by her as her wedding party, but not be a BM?  I am confused.  Are you going to be an <strong>unofficial BM</strong>???
    Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

    I think God just killed a puppy.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:acc2948b-6dad-4060-8a16-5569aecc71bd">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: There are no words... : I think God just killed a puppy.
    Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

    <div>Seriously.  FFS!  WTF BBQ?!</div>
  • edited December 2011
    Honestly I think it's pointless. I think that money could be spent someplace else.

    AND I feel like people may be confused. "If there aren't any bridesmaids than who are all these girls in matching dress?!"
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think it's rude to tell guests what to wear (unless there's a church dress code or something). If you're a guest, then wear what you want to wear.
  • sparkles88sparkles88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:b5007394-a543-4a6f-9f7a-b6eec3dd5d6a">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that is ridiculous.  What's the color? At least it wasn't part of the invitation that went out to EVERYONE.  And yes, this is what my cousin did.  They requested that everyone where semi-formal attire in red, black or white.  It took all of me to not wear a freaking hot pink dress. <strong> Instead, I wore a black dress with a ton of cleavage. </strong>
    Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]


    I think that's exactly what I would have done in that situation.



    Do you have a large family, Shoes? If you have like 30 cousins all in a specific color compared to everyone else, that's gonna look kinda funky, IMO.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:d86dc2fd-357c-4d4b-99eb-ec56caa80444">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: There are no words... : I think that's exactly what I would have done in that situation. Do you have a large family, Shoes? If you have like 30 cousins all in a specific color compared to everyone else, that's gonna look kinda funky, IMO.
    Posted by sparkles88[/QUOTE]

    <div>No.  On that side, there are only 6 grandchildren.</div>
  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If the color is purple, you need to wear like...something that would look horrid with purple.  I'm thinking school bus yellow (although there ARE pretty flowers like that, but you'd TOTALLY STICK OUT.)

    Yea, I'm normally non-confrontational though.  I'd wear the color IF I had it.  If I have to buy a dress, hellz no.
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • kayely88kayely88 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_there-words?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65908886-07b6-4b9a-bdfa-0b589a8f3aa1Post:9dcf9141-d9e7-473e-98ff-d4d8ef989886">Re: There are no words...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's rude to tell guests what to wear (unless there's a church dress code or something). If you're a guest, then wear what you want to wear.
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. All of my cousins are married already and I was a bridesmaid twice but that is the only reason I see as to why you have to wear the same color and what not. </div><div>
    </div><div>I think it is rude that you should tell guests what to wear. If I was invited to a wedding where I was to be told what to wear I would choose a different color, just to spite the bride. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" /></div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would do something different on pure principle.  If you want me to be a BM, then ask.  If not, I'm wearing whatever the hell color I damn well please.
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  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What color is she asking you to get? I personally am a terrible shopper and won't buy anything unless I have a reason.

    Also, somehow almost everyone at my wedding was in a certain color theme. If you look through the pictures everyone is in the same spectrum, it was kind of cool actually.
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you don't wear the color, I'd go with a standard LBD from your closet. She's asking for something over the top, sure, but that's no reason to wear something out of spite. She probably has no idea how rude she's being. JMO.
  • edited December 2011
    It's one thing if it's a Black Tie Formal wedding but otherwise it's lame...  When I was 14 and dreamed up my pretty pretty princess wedding I wanted a Black Tie Wedding because my parents had attended one and I saw pictures and thought it was the most amazing thing on earth... but that was also when I thought weddings were the most amazing thing on earth so..... ::rolls eyes::

    I'd be the absolute biotch that would wear some kind of animal print with a hot pink feather boa just to piss her off.... ::evil laugh::
  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think that's incredibly rude, but then, I didn't even pick out dresses or shoes for my BMs. Just told them any navy blue dress that was about knee length and whatever shoes they wanted.

    I would bitch and moan about it here, and then suck it up and buy a dress somewhere in the right color range that wasn't terribly expensive and was flattering and that I'd wear again. I love dresses, so I'd honestly be annoyed, but try to turn it into a positive and use it as an excuse to buy a new dress. :)


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  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Buy a wedding dress and say you thought WE (you and her) we're supposed to match...oopsie.

    I'd be a bit peeved but try to not dwell on it too much and like desert said, think of it as an excuse to buy a new dress.
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Show up in a tight, short white dress.  With a birdcage veil.  That'll teach her!

    Bwahaha.. I'm in an evil mood!

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Dude.  What? Really?  Did you laugh in her face when she asked you to do that? B/c I'm a huge bitch and would have laughed then told her I was an adult and I can dress myself.

    But again, I'm a huge bitch.

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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Send her here!  We will fix her up for you! :)  Then you can dress yourself like the big girl you are! :)
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ughhhh

    Send her to TK and ask the Etiquette board about it.

    Unless it's a little black dress, I'd wear whatever you wanted.
  • edited December 2011
    This is the strangest thing I've ever read.  I don't even give a damn what the actual WP wears.  The thought of caring about everyone else truly baffles me.  
  • edited December 2011
    If the color was purple, I'd do it (because it's my favorite color). If it wasn't, I'd wear whatever I wanted. Screw that. Not good enough to be your BM but good enough to have to dress to your specifications? Wtf ever.
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