Money Money Money... Money!

laurenann82

Slate is currently running a series of articles about how couples deal with finances. It is really interesting, and sparked a discussion this morning between me and BF about how we share our money. 

We recently set up a "Yours, Mine, and Ours" system that is working out pretty well. We opened a joint checking account and each deposit enough money to cover half of our shared expenses. We also use the joint debit card for going out to eat and stuff like that. 

This morning we agreed that when we get married we want to just throw all of our money together. The article about the "Common Pot" system on Slate dealt with our concerns and questions. A lot of the couples that they interviewed said they don't think about who spends what any more - like if the wife wants to buy new clothes or the husband wants to buy a new gadget (or vice versa, not to be stereotypical here!) they do not worry about keeping tabs. 

I suggest reading all of the articles if you and your BF are talking about combining finances now or when you get married!

Blue & White

Link, perhaps?

We haven't combined finances, but I do pay him for rent and whatnot.  We're pretty good at splitting things relatively equally.

And we still buy toys for ourselves sometimes too   I buy crafts, he buys power tools.  And we buy awesome TVs together.

[Deleted User]

Just a question - do a lot of unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?

Personally I think this is a bad idea...but I have no idea if I am in the majority on this or not. I would never combine finances with someone I wasn't married to. BF and I keep everything separate. We have made joint purchases where we both pay our respective halves...but we've never financed something together or shared a bank account. Maybe this is less of a problem because we are not living together (and do not plan to before marriage), but I still think you should keep things separate until you're married. Fully willing to admit I may sound old-fashioned on this one...but I'd hate for my financial security/credit/history to be impacted by someone I had no legal ties to!

calindi

We have a "Yours, Mine, and Ours" system, and it works really well for us.  We've determined we're going to keep it indefinitely, though obviously the "Ours" will grow larger when we have more mutual expenses (like children). It would freak BF out too much if I was making purchases and he didn't have the receipts.  But our savings account will be mutual (which we'd like to start setting up once he graduates and starts making money).

It's probably a very bad idea in general for couples who are not married to blend finances, as it can land someone in a heap of trouble if they break up or their significant other decides to dip into their pockets, but it's always worked wonderfully for us.  That's not to say I'd recommend it, because while it works great for us, it wasn't something that we planned to do.  He put me on his account when he left for Marine training, so I could pay his bills and such while he was gone (which turned out to be very necessary). Then when he got back, I told him we could remove me from his bank account, and he said it wasn't necessary.  And then we opened a mutual checking account.  And then we added him to my account.  So it works great because we never look at the other's account, use the mutual account for travel and large joint purchases, but we can easily transfer money when someone owes the other something (he pays all utilities, and I just transfer my half). 

AudgiePodge

@allusive- I've shared bank accounts with all my serious relationships.  I personally have had no bad experiences with this.  With FI, we're waiting to combine until we're married.

I have 3 accounts that are just staying in my name and I am being added to his checking only.  There is no need for me to be on his business account.  With that being said, FI is the one who usually pays for everything.  We go shopping together most of the time anyways.  In the off chance I go, he either gives me his card or I pay for it out of mine.

ravenray

We don't have our money combined but we do have a joint "marriage" saving account.  Basically just a lonely savings account to help pay for the wedding and anything that comes after.  Right now neither of us are working so it hasn't grown much. lol  I agree with you Allusive, I would never share my money with someone I wasn't married too.  That being said both of us have the pass to the others bank account, though I don't go on it unless I am paying bill for him or something. 

SKP82

I was actually just thinking about this earlier today.

BF and I have separate checking and savings accounts at the moment.  We split everything proportionally to our income (he makes at least twice as much as I do, so he pays more of the bills).  We have a whole spreadsheet on the computer that tracks each month's expenses to insure everything is proportional (BF is a huge Excel nerd). 

When we get married, I would like for us to combine checking and savings so it's "Ours."  Currently, there are a few times when we'll get to the checkout and one of us will ask, "Are you getting this or am I?"  I always feel uncomfortable right then.  I would just rather everything be together than always thinking about whether or not we have shared expenses equally.  BUT, I don't want to do this until we are engaged at least.

It's definitely something we'll have to talk about soon.

sapphirebaby926

When we got engaged we set up 'yours, mine, and ours' accounts and put enough into that to pay the bills that we had. He kept it like that for awhile after we got married but then we both asked 'We only ever really use the joint account why are we keeping these other ones open?' So we closed them and all our finances are combined now. We don't check up on what eachother spends but we let the other know when we've bought something if it's more than $50 - that's not a number we agreed on or anything it's just what we do. We both are very aware of what is in the account at any given time so we never have to worry about overspending. It works out really well for us but it's not for everyone.

meamolly

We have separate bank accounts. He gives me his half of the bills that we share (rent gas, electric, insurance, cable). He pays his car payment out of his own account as do I. I do not know if we would ever combine.

loves2shop4shoes

Right now we each have our own separate bank accounts and we pay each other for expenses and take turns buying regular needs (like groceries.)

I think it's just really really unwise to have a joint account when you're not married.  When we get married, I'm not sure what we'll do.  One idea I had was to just get joint credit cards, keep separate bank accounts, and just pay off the credit cards together.  Another thought is to just scrap the "Yours, mine, ours" idea and make everything "ours".  I don't know how I feel about that though.  This will definitely be a topic for premarital counseling.

Beads921

Right now we have separate accounts. But every month or so BF suggests setting up a shared account of one type or the other (savings or checking, depending on what the bill is we're discussing at the time). I'm all for it; since we're living together I think having a shared checking account at least would be useful for monthly bills, groceries, etc. We're also considering a savings account for travel. No matter what though, I think we'll keep our own checking accounts, and probably existing savings accounts. At least for now. 

bourgehm

FI and I's money is completely seperate... until this semester.  I was a little short on the money I owed for school, so he is paying for it with the money he'd saved up for the weddign that was supposed to be in January. he's a sweetheart. Other than that, we pay for all of our own things. Obviously if he needs something and I have money, he can use it and visa versa.

mellimel19

We also have a yours, mine and ours system. When we moved in together, we just had our separate accounts and each of us paid for half of our living expenses. The rest went into our individual accounts. Then we wanted to start saving money for a down payment on a house, so we opened a joint savings account. Once we got engaged, we opened a joint checking account to save for the wedding. When we get married, we plan to still keep our individual accounts, but will contribute to them much less, and will put most of the money in our joint accounts.

[Deleted User]

FI and I talk about money all the time.  We discussed, even before we got engaged, how we would handle money when we got engaged and when we got married. FI isn't that great with money and I am - he told me early on he would be happy if I would take over handling all of our finances once we started living together/get married.

We each banked at different banks when we were dating and neither of us liked the other's banks.  So months ago we started researching banks that offered what we wanted as a couple.  We found one that fit us and then we got something in the mail from that bank offering us $150 if we opened up an account there by the middle of December.  We decided it was fate and actually opened up the account the day after he moved in (less than a week before the offer expired).  We have since both closed our other accounts, although I do still have 2 CDs in my previous bank (in my name only) that I don't intend to close - using that as emergency money (and of course FI knows about them).

misskrysbaby

FI & I have separate bank accounts, and split the bills equally. We have a pretty good system going now and don't have any plans to get a joint account in the future, even after the wedding. If he wants to buy a gadget or pay for dinner or whatnot, he needs to have the money to cover the expenses out of his account. Same with me. We're saving for the wedding, of course, and both have separate savings accounts that we update the other on whenever we are able to add to it. Like, after payday he'll say I was able to save $300 for the wedding from that paycheck and he'll keep it until we need it. We're pretty good with finances, so we're able to save enough and still have enough for bills and spending too, without having to know exactly how much money the other has. As long as both of us cover our share of the bills, we're golden.

[Deleted User]

FI and i have separate accounts right now.  we are trying to do our regular spending out of cash only during the engagement period to sort of transition us into marriage and finances.  he is not very good with money, although he's really getting better since i got him on the dave ramsey books.  i'm good with money and finances and planning for future expenses (ie, we have to have a tornado shelter put in and it will be X-amount by X-time so we need to try to save X-money, etc.) 

we are planning to combine our finances completely when we're married.  we'll have a checking account, a savings account (our emergency account), another savings account (for house expenses, like that tornado shelter), and then we'll try to live off cash during the month.  i'm sure we'll have to make some tweaks but hopefully it's a smooth transition.