Warning: VENT (long)

peekaboo2011

I'm really freaking tired of the economy.  SERIOUSLY.  I know that I'm preaching to the choir here, but oh.my.gosh.  FI graduated undergrad in 08, took a couple years off and then went back to get his masters in sports management.  Should be great to get a job in.  Apparently not.  Apparently, having a masters in a field doesn't actually qualify you for a job in the field because you need 2 years of experience, and school doesn't count.  WTF?!  And the stupid whateverthehell is going on with the NFL is not helping things.  Nope.  Because the next closest sports city to where I'm going to grad school is NOLA.  And guess what?  No NFL = they're firing, not hiring.

And FI, well, I'm about to drive up to see him and beat the crap out of him.  Honestly, LD SUCKS BALLS.  I'm tired of it.  Over it.  I don't want to be long distance anymore.  I want to come back after class and curl up with him on the couch and do homework.  And make dinner, and play with the baby bird and just live our own lives.  But, right now, not feasible.  And so, I do the best that I freakin can.  He's miserable.  He lives with his parents, and they're annoying him to death, and his sister who can't be happy about anything is home for a week (seriously, took this girl shopping, she threw a fit over my recommending tinted moisturizer to even out her complexion and lip gloss for an interview...) so he's about to go nuts anyway.  And because he can't get a job, he's waiting tables.  Which sucks.  He hates the restaurant industry.  But he can't find anything else.  And so, I'm trying to be positive for the both of us, and it's making it worse, and he's more miserable and I CAN'T FREAKING DEAL.

I feel like we're going in circles.  I keep trying to get him to talk to me, and when I make suggestions, I get "whatever".  Seriously, I get that he's miserable.  I'm miserable.  But, I have you guys and school and that's that.  This crap isn't forever.  This is crap for a couple more years, and then bam, we're back together.  I don't know how to help him.  I'm beyond frustrated and it's causing me to lose sleep.

And the fact that I've got a ridiculous cold is not helping matters. For anyone who actually read the whole thing, I apologize for grammar and spelling errors and lack of actual sense and transitions.  It's 3AM and I am not thinking straight.  I'll come back and edit later.

Elle1036

I wish I had some magical advice that would make his job prospects improve and the distance thing suck less, but I don't.  I hope venting helped you, though.  Just try to focus on what you said, that this crap isn't forever.  It'll be over before you know it, and you might even find yourself eventually looking back on this with a little nostalgia.

cyndelgrace

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_warning-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6abb1b95-ba58-4961-a5dc-7f4c806cde4fPost:b18c8f69-c4b5-4032-82c9-497f6e785e27">Re: Warning: VENT (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish I had some magical advice that would make his job prospects improve and the distance thing suck less, but I don't.  I hope venting helped you, though.  Just try to focus on what you said, that this crap isn't forever.  It'll be over before you know it, and you might even find yourself eventually looking back on this with a little nostalgia.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]



This.

Then go eat a cupcake.

babybchbum

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_warning-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6abb1b95-ba58-4961-a5dc-7f4c806cde4fPost:57940d05-fbaa-4bda-b361-9c9487b4e3f4">Re: Warning: VENT (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Warning: VENT (long) : This. Then go eat a cupcake.
Posted by cyndelgrace[/QUOTE]


I thought it was ice cream... or BOTH.

Maybe that is just what this pregnant girl would do. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

::HUGS::

peekaboo2011

Thanks guys.  For now, it's greasy breakfast food and a smoothie.  I really hope the lab kids don't want perky me, because she's still in bed.

I think I'll have ice cream for lunch...

MLekathLEEN

CRAP. I forgot to bring lunch today.

Just remember that this time apart is minimal. A few years down the road, you'll look back and say how the time has flown. Keep your head up and focus on school for a bit.

About FI- Try not to worry and don't take it personally if he doesn't want to talk. My FI was going through similar feelings with work/school/ etc a while back and was moody but wouldn't talk, "it's nothing" is what he would say. I told him that I didn't want to force him to talk but I'm here no matter what, I support you fully, and if you want to talk, let me know. He did eventually open up and we had a good (LONG) chat about everything. Give him time, let him know that if he needs someone to talk to, you're there.

trebmal

I feel your pain.  I have a Master's and I've been a teacher for ten years so it seems no one can/wants to afford me.  Then on the other hand, all I've done my adult life is teach, and have NO experience anywhere else so I cant even get an interview for anything different because of that.  I will keep you guys in my prayers.  I KNOW it sucks, and I hope PP are right that it'll all be over soon.  (((hugs)))

NurseyK

Aww I'm sorry! This economy does suck giant hairy monkey balls, as does long distance. The best you can do is to continue what you're doing, and love him the best you can. Be open and honest about what is on your mind, hopefully he can commiserate and be supportive. 

Is there any way he could move closer to you and wait tables? Or is he in his current city because that is where he wanted to land a job?

peekaboo2011

Thanks guys.  Seriously, means a lot.  I'd call mom and vent, but if anyone has grown up around military parents you know the standard "Get over it".

I just want for him to be happy.  That's it.  He went in to this program because he had gotten sucked into restaurant management, and if he stayed there it was going to destroy our relationship.  It was awful.  I've never seen him so miserable.  And so he moved to get his masters, and now he still can't get a freaking job.  And so he's waiting tables.

Nursey, he absolutely could move with me to FL after May, and he could wait tables there.  We've talked about it.  But, I've told him that if he gets a job, he is under no circumstances allowed to turn it down.  Some CEO told him that they were looking to expand around May, and that FI and his business partner (they're working on a project) were just what he was looking for, and so to contact him after graduation.  But every time I bring it up, how awesome it is, he's like "It's not going to happen."  WTF?!  I just want a little bit of a positive outlook from him.  I know that it's awful.  He freaking ran his car into a curb yesterday and bent the axle (we think), and it may have totaled his car.  Yes, it sucks.  It beyond sucks.  But I keep thinking that it could be so much worse.  Like, he could be deployed and we could not get to talk ever because he's in Iraq.  No, that's not our situation.  And when I tried to tell him that it could be so much worse, he just groaned and mumbled something about how awful it is.  I'm at my wits end.

Sorry, that just turned into a way longer rant than I wanted it to be.

desertsun

I cannot deal with constant negativity like that. It drives me crazy. What's the point in anything you're doing if you can't find a little joy every day? Focusing on all the stuff that's hard or that he hates is not going to help him feel any better. Life is too short to spend it all stressed out and unhappy! he needs an attitude adjustment STAT.

I'm sorry, Peek. I hope things improve soon!

NurseyK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_warning-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6abb1b95-ba58-4961-a5dc-7f4c806cde4fPost:235ea2bd-94a3-461c-ab8d-e05a8d3347eb">Re: Warning: VENT (long)</a>:
[QUOTE].<strong> Life is too short to spend it all stressed out and unhappy! he needs an attitude adjustment STAT. I'm sorry, Peek. :( I hope things improve soon!</strong>
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Agreed! Next time you visit, why don't you bring him something to cheer him up, like some fun cupcakes? :)</div>

cu97tiger

Peekaboo - send me a PM. I was in sports for 10 years, just got my MBA with a specialization in sports business. Maybe I have some contacts that will help?

choephori

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_warning-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6abb1b95-ba58-4961-a5dc-7f4c806cde4fPost:29b3ec5e-6950-4cf6-9d1a-6ba2e3d0ee88">Re: Warning: VENT (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and that the distance thing is making everything feel a lot worse right now. <strong>Is there anything you can do to break down the time apart into more manageable chunks? When I was dating an ex BF long-distance, it helped to plan in advance so I knew I only had to go x number of weeks without seeing him. </strong>Maybe you could plan a fun weekend trip for the two of you to make you both feel a little less miserable? And, like PPs have said, this crap isn't forever. You can do it!
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

^ This.  It's the only way we've been getting through 500 miles of separation for the last year...just being able to look at it as, "two more weeks" instead of, "when am I going to see you next???"

Warm thoughts to you and yours. :)

jaycee7389

sorry to hear that OP..and I give you a ton of credit for having a LDR because idk if I could honestly do it. my BF got his undergrad in restaurant/hospitality mgmt (i know you said your FI was in it at one point) and then ended up HATING any job he had in that field no matter how well he was being paid. it was tearing us apart and eventually he realized he had to get out and be his own boss. idk the whole situation with your FI but you only live once so maybe he should get out and try to find something he really loves? sorry i'm probably not helping..but i know for my BF it has turned him from night to day.

peekaboo2011

Thanks guys.  Desert, I am trying my damndest to give the man an attitude adjustment.  He's great when we're together.  I know he's tired of distance, and he's tired of living on student loans, and that's starting to seriously wear at him, it really didn't use to be this bad.

I get to see him next at Easter.  I was going to head up next weekend, as I've been trying to do the every other weekend thing since he's working, but after the story with Marley's coworker and the dual cancer diagnosis, I feel like I need to be here at Relay for Life.  I'm just trying to focus on the good stuff, and I'm hoping he will too.  If he can have something good happen in the next couple weeks, I know that will definitely help.  So, keep your fingers crossed!

marleylikeair

Awww, Peek! ::BIG HUG:: I'm sorry you're all stressed and stuff. My brain isn't totally understanding complex subjects at the moment--it's been a crazy long week with more to come--so I don't have much wisdom for you at the moment. Just...it'll get better, I promise!

ravenray

Aw Peekaboo I am sorry!  Hang in there girl it will get better sometime.   I don't really have any good advice to offer other than just keep hanging in there.  Talking to him about positive thing is a good thing.  But other then that I have nothing.