not engaged yet, but booking the venue?

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-engaged-yet-but-booking-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:71a982ec-38e6-4669-b24e-35fe4c06ecfcPost:6863890e-a91f-4cfc-86e0-7b8ed8fc9144">Re: not engaged yet, but booking the venue?</a>:
[QUOTE]To bad you won't be getting MARRIED at this gorgeous venue. You can do a wedding vow renewal there though. It's completely disrespectful and hurtful for you to get married and then go through this elaborate lie to your father. It sounds you are trying to do this with the best intentions but all I see is the big lie you are telling your dad. Your HUSBAND will be pretend asking for your hand in marriage. Do you not see how bad that is?
Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

THANK YOU.

Saroyan

Can't believe I'm setting myself up to be attacked with my first post, but here goes.

If she is "gift-grabby" and "attention-whorey" [sic] for wanting a ceremony and a celebration, then so are all of you who didn't just go to the courthouse. Presumably, most of you are on a wedding planning board because you didn't elope, and because you wanted a celebration (religious or not, but if you are religious, that's another consideration) with your family and loved ones.

We may have to get our marriage license six months before the ceremony because otherwise I'll lose my visa. To the government, yes, that's when we're getting married. But until we've made those vows in the presence of (a) our families and (b) a rabbi, it will still feel incomplete. That's why I don't consider it a vow renewal, incidentally.

Of course courthouse weddings are legitimate. They're also not everyone's preference, and that's equally valid. Enough with the moralizing and pearl-clutching already.