Oh Chit Chat...

heyimbren

I normally don't like to link to posts on other boards. But I actually was completely shocked atthis (click) one.

The whole situation just sounds so sad to me, in so many ways.

bourgehm

That is pretty sad.  It's messed up that she wants the memorial candle at her wedding,  but it's also sad that she got herself into this mess.

Wrkn925

Yup.  She's catching shiit on like three boards.

[Deleted User]

Makes me sad to Bren. I feel sad for OP that she is so hung up in the past that she wants to pay tribute to her "friend" at her wedding, and I feel sad for her FI...because he's proposed to someone who obviously is not emotionally stable enough to enter into that kind of commitment...

marleylikeair

I posted a reply JIC it isn't MUD. This is a really sad situation.

jilld82

I hope it's MUD, otherwise she's just sad.  She was posting on SB too.

bethsmiles

I really just can't feel sad for someone who cheated or take some one seriously who compares their relationship to Romeo and Juliet. Its a sad mess she's gotten herself into but seriously? She wants a memorial to a guy she cheated with at her wedding? There is no circumstance where that is appropriate. I don't like memorials period at weddings though.

PaigeMcC

This made my head hurt.

MLekathLEEN

If this isn't MUD, I honestly feel sorry for her FI. She obviously has some unresolved issues she needs to deal with before she gets married.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:5956c813-6a9a-4697-a19b-19896607810e">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE]If this isn't MUD, I honestly feel sorry for her FI. She obviously has some unresolved issues she needs to deal with before she gets married.
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG! A legit reason to tell someone "I feel sorry for your FI."!
</div>

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:44418858-cfe2-454a-a600-0156c53f4f5e">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Chit Chat... : OMG! A legit reason to tell someone "I feel sorry for your FI."!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

I know! I think I would add a sad/half slant face to make it seem more legit and less biitchy. :/

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:bf0bf2e9-0c21-47d6-89a6-724d01ed3a69">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Chit Chat... : I know! I think I would add a sad/half slant face to make it seem more legit and less biitchy. :/
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

<div>Good choice.  Soften the blow a bit.</div>

SeaTea02

O.o

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:5e4ab515-a64d-4cd6-ae25-5a7421090989">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE]I really just can't feel sad for someone who cheated or take some one seriously who compares their relationship to Romeo and Juliet. Its a sad mess she's gotten herself into but seriously? She wants a memorial to a guy she cheated with at her wedding? There is no circumstance where that is appropriate. I don't like memorials period at weddings though.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

This.  I feel bad for her FI though, it's shitty to be 'second best'.  She's only marrying him because the other guy died.  Not only that, but to have a candle memorializing her 'first choice' is a painful reminder that even on the day that's supposed to be about <em>them</em>, she still places more importance on him.

She seriously needs some therapy.  Not in an "omg that biotch be crazy" kind of a way, but she's obviously having issues coping with his death, and personal issues with cheating, etc.  She has no business getting married until she sorts her life out first.

heyimbren

I don't know. I think she's dealing with it terribly, but I just don't want to/can't imagine having that feeling that "the love of my life" died. Too early too.

I think she's treating her FI really crappy still. But I feel like J dying would kinda make me go crazy for a while too. Just hopefully not THAT crazy and mean.

kayely88

Wow that's sad but also a little messed up. I feel bad for her FI and I completely agree with her about missing this other guy but she doesn't need to incorporate an In Memory Candle for her old BF. 

I agree with bren, she is treating her FI pretty crappy. 

bethsmiles

She definitely needs therapy and I don't think she should be getting married or be in a relationship at all actually. I think the best thing for her and her FI is to break off the engagement and take a break from the relationship entirely.

kayely88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:bc678a61-051c-4a3b-9867-27555e2625d4">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE]She definitely needs therapy and I don't think she should be getting married or be in a relationship at all actually. I think the best thing for her and her FI is to break off the engagement and take a break from the relationship entirely.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

<div>This too.</div>

leia1979

I agree that what OP wants is totally inappropriate, and I do feel bad for her FI. I'm sure he deserves someone who really wants to be with him.

I'm fine with a small memorial for the people close to us who couldn't be here for our special day. The guy you cheated on your FI with is not that person. Would he really be there cheering them on if he were alive?

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-chit-chat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:721435cb-b777-4c1c-8ff4-9a6de447ffddPost:a6620513-2750-4f1f-b9cf-b48847b88237">Re: Oh Chit Chat...</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm fine with a small memorial for the people close to us who couldn't be here for our special day. The guy you cheated on your FI with is not that person.<strong> Would he really be there cheering them on if he were alive?</strong>
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]
No he is Romeo! He would be pulling out his sword and kill FI (Think Paris).
But seriously, this made me sad.  I also think some of the people on there could have been nicer might have helped.   No I am not saying she doesn't desever some flack (okay maybe a lot of flack) but maybe if people were nicer she would concider counseling, which she obviously needs.