Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Using Judges/JOP instead of Religious Leaders for Ceremony

My fiance and I are not very religious, and are considering having a judge marry us, albeit at our reception site.  My question is, how do you go about contacting judges to ask if they do weddings outside of the courthouse?  And what etiquette is involved?  I have no experience with this, and don't want to insult someone with my ignorance.  Alternatively, for my fellow non-religious brides, did you have any other creative ideas for the ceremony?
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Re: Using Judges/JOP instead of Religious Leaders for Ceremony

  • annie912annie912 member
    100 Comments
    edited January 2012
    We actually had a friend ordained online to perform our ceremony. This isn't legal in all areas, but is in many so it might be worth checking out if you'd like to have someone who actually knows you marry you.

    We're still coming up with "creative' ideas. Neither one of us is big on the "traditional" parts (other than vows) and this is the second marriage for both us (my first was the big, traditional one), so I expect it will be short and sweet.
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  • I don't know how it works in NY. Here, there are deputy county clerks who officiate at civil marriages, and you'd call them at their county offices. Alternatively, you'd google "civil marriage officiant" and your region. Then you'd get online advertisements, and you'd contact them like any other vendor.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_using-judgesjop-instead-of-religious-leaders-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:d534842e-9a07-4818-87d4-68f3b2677b6ePost:e2dd25b2-19f8-4391-8d3f-b42cd023290f">Using Judges/JOP instead of Religious Leaders for Ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are not very religious, and are considering having a judge marry us, albeit at our reception site.  My question is, how do you go about contacting judges to ask if they do weddings outside of the courthouse?  And what etiquette is involved?  I have no experience with this, and don't want to insult someone with my ignorance.  Alternatively, for my fellow non-religious brides, did you have any other creative ideas for the ceremony?
    Posted by psubride09[/QUOTE]

    We're both non-religious - myself agnostic - FI - I don't know..just not religious.

    Google "Civil officiants" - there are a lot of officiants that are ordained in a church - but are willing to do civil ceremonies.

    That's how I went about it.
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  • edited January 2012
    I'm in NY and I actually just went on Google and typed in something like "Long Island judges who perform weddings" or something really obvious like that.  I didn't want any type of religious person officiating at my wedding, even if they called it a "civil" ceremony.  I found a judge in the area, but he was booked up and actually just referred me to an ex-judge/current lawyer who is going to be doing the ceremony for us.  I really don't care who performs the ceremony - I don't have to like him or anything, as long as he looks ok in my photos!  We plan on having it be very basic and quick, so that we can get to the partying!  :)
  • We had a JOP.  I just googled for ones in my area.  I basically asked how much they charged and went from there.  We did a rose exchange at our ceremony (which was on the beach).  Basically we just each gave a rose to our moms to thank them for being there for us.  
  • JOP's can perform weddings anywhere, and can also incorporate anything you want into the ceremony religious or not. Thats probably you best option. My cousin had a JOP do her wedding and it was lovely.

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  • Justices of the peace cannot officiate at weddings in California.
  • We have a JOP that we found through our venue. Our venue gave us a list of preferred vendors. Does your venue provide something like this? You could also see what TK has listed, too, for JOP's in your area. My brother had a JOP at his wedding too and it was lovely. Nothing religious about it.
  • I also had a JOP perform our ceremony. I think I did a combination of googling "civil officiant New Orleans," looking at the list of preferred vendors from my ceremony venue, and going on my local board to the left.  Between all three I was able to find the perfect judge who was not totally dry or boring but also was not religious.  

    It worked out great. I recommend you try those things.  If nothing turns up, come back and we can try again!
  • Check with your local county offices to see if they have a listing. At the place where we have to go to get ours there is a list of JOP's and judges that perform weddings.

    Also, our caterer had a list; I'm sure this isn't typical but there are a few people who have been in the business a long time that have local contacts. Wouldn't hurt to ask...
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  • Thanks Ladies!
    "You're not my life but you're the one I want to spend it with. You're not my world but you're the best thing in it."
  • I suggest looking for a JP. I contacted many in my area that I located here on The Knot & also on Wedding Wire. 
    We had 2 consultations last week & are in the process of deciding which to choose.
    We are also getting married at our venue.
    Best of luck!! 
  • edited January 2012
    I lucked out - when I was a kid, my family and I campaigned for my officiant to get elected. He won, and my grandma worked for him for many years. I asked her to get in touch with him and see if he'd perform our ceremony (wasn't sure if that was his thing or not), and he said yes. His secretary just called a few days ago. :) She's mailing me a ceremony to look over, but told me I could change anything I wanted except for the important legalese stuff. I've bookmarked a few secular readings and vows that I love, just send me an email at shelby.and.ricky at gmail dot com if you're interested. 

    Definitely Google for JOPs or Civil Officiants in your area. Best of luck!
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