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Combining our savings account?

BF and I have a savings account right now at the bank his mother works at.  He borrowed some money from her to get his car fixed, and after only a few days gone by, she took it out of his savings. She's a really sweet woman, and I love her to death, but it really really bugged him that she did that.  The agreement was that he would pay her back when he got paid again, but she didn't wait for that.  I know she does have a right to it, since he had the money and had borrowed some from her, but the problem was that she didn't even ask him before she did it. This is why I hate borrowing money.

So we've talked about opening one with my bank.

Here's the deal. Yes, we have had that savings before, but my name wasn't technically on it.  I would just come by sometimes and put some money into it when I had some extra.  But if we opened one with my bank, we would want both our names on it.  I don't have a problem with doing it, but it's a big step and it makes me a little nervous.

Pros and Cons?
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Re: Combining our savings account?

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First thought that comes to mind here is :Is that even legal?! I know she works at the bank but just b/c it's her son's acct doesn't mean she can just go in and take out what she is owed.  There's something there that makes me leery ...idk...

    Anywaysssssss we just opened one recently.  Big purchases are saved for with it but our regular day to day savings are done with our own accounts.  I think having an account together is a great idea but I would advise keeping your own account as well.

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  • edited December 2011
    It's a super old account, from when he was like.. 16. He doesn't do much with it (much to my chagrin...) So her name is on it anyway so legally, yes, she can take the money.

    We're both keeping our own checking accounts.  The only think that would be combined is savings.

    ETA: What I mean by "do much with it" is he doesn't keep very good track of it, he just calls her to check how much he has. He doesn't get on online banking or anything. It works for him, but it aggravates me a little bit because I know I wouldn't be able to stand not knowing exactly what was going on with my account at all times.  Then again, I've never had my parents have anything to do with my accounts, so that might be why.
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ahhh that makes more sense then! I was like wtf is she doing with his account? lol

    I would HATE to have someone else in my account.  I have to know what's going on at all times...I don't make enough for other people to be playing in there....well that and I'm very OCD about finances!lol

    Anyways, I think there's a def. benefit to having a joint account but again, keeping your chequing accounts separate is great too.  BF and I use ours for rent, saving for a house, etc.

    If you're unsure then wait a bit.  However, have the discussion (you've obviously started on that already) and make sure he understands how you deal with your money.  Come to some kind of an agreement about how you'd like to manage your money together.  I think it's always worth more investigation

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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    Haha yeah, I should have clarified from the beginning that she isn't just stealing, technically. ;)

    I'm the same way about my money. It's my money, and the less people that know about/have access to it the better.  Sometimes, she'll see that he spent some money at the ABC store or something and she'll call him flipping out.  He's a grown man.  But.. it's not my problem yet so I tend to not say anything.  I would just hate for my parents to know every little place I use my card.

    We're going to have a more in depth conversation about it tonight.  I've already let him know that if his name is going to be on it, he needs to make sure he remembers that he has to make an effort to put money in it, because he can't just ask his mom to do it for him.  And that neither of us can dip into it without the other person's consent.

    Anything else we might need to discuss?

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would also talk about what you would use the account for.  Is it for fun? Is it for savings? What are you saving for?  I'd make sure you two were on the same page about what you want the money to go to.  Also, if you're saving for something specific (we're saving for a down payment) I'd suggest setting up automatic transfers each month from your separate accounts.  That way you decide how much each is willing to contribute and it comes out no matter what.  It's got to be something you're both comfortable with but also something that goes somewhere.  It's one thing to have a joint account, it's another to actually use it.   lol

    It seems like you've had a good chat about it already! Talk it up again tonight and discuss what you expect from it, what he expects, how you want it to work, when and how money should be withdrawn or put in, etc.  The conversation usually evolves from there...BF and I ended up talking about houses after we discussed finances so you never know where it will lead.  Just make sure you cover everything that concerns you about this new adventure and go from there.  Good luck, darlin!

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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you! :D
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  • edited December 2011
    FI and I don't mind sharing accounts. It works great for us. When we disagree on how to spend money, we talk about it and come up with an agreement (hopefully BEFORE the situation arises, but sometimes things happen unexpectedly).

    For some people, it's important and more comfortable to keep seperate accounts altogether. Others have a joint account and seperate accounts as well.

    It depends a lot on how you will both use the account, how you will solve money problems (they happen, like it or not), and how well you both communicate with each other about the state of your financials and how the money is being used.

    It's a really personal thing. The only time FI and I ever "argued" about money was over credit cards. I would be happy with NO credit cards EVER, FI wanted one or two for certain things/emergencies.

    We agreed before the first card that the balance would be paid at the end of each month. We would never spend more than we could afford to pay off. That worked great. He wanted another to pay for wedding stuff that he would pay a minimum that we both agreed on each month, and have it paid off within 6 months after the wedding. I agreed on the condition that the card remains in the safe, NOT in anyone's wallet, and only gets used when we BOTH know about it ahead of time.

    That's how we have solved our money problems. Maybe you guys should get a joint account for joint purposes only (not the account you pay your personal bills with) and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out within a certain time frame (like, what, 6 months? a year?) then close the account and agree to have seperate accounts from that point on.

    The key is to figure out your plan B and give yourselves a timeframe for it to work or not before you even open it up.
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  • edited December 2011
    We tried the joint account thing for a while, but it wasn't the right fit for us at the time. I was waitressing, and I didn't have a predictable income. Even picking up another job didn't help much. I think it would be an easier thing to do if both people's incomes were predictable, but I think separate checking accounts are a great idea. I do approve of the joint savings account, however. Hope this helps!
  • edited December 2011
    #1 He definitely needs to open a new account and not at the bank his mother works at.  And no, she actually had NO right to go into his account and get money.  Especially without even saying anything to him!

    #2 Combining accounts is definitely something you both need to have a talk about and be sure you're on the same page with.  FI and I have separate accounts, although we've been talking about opening a joint savings for the wedding and then after we are married we plan on combining checking..
  • Lbaier18Lbaier18 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    New account. My bf had a joint savings with mommy and when we moved in together she started 'withdrawing' money for random things.

    We opened a joint checking/ savings for convienence- we both work at school, and r bank is across the street from school, so its nice and close when we need to deposit or withdraw.

    It was agood thing for us because I hate to manage money, and he's a saver, so I let him balance the checkbook... when we have money that is.

    His mom was a little put off at first, but it made sense for us at the time and now.
  • Lbaier18Lbaier18 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and definately get both names on it. We had to jump through hoops with r savings because my name wasn't on it at first because I wasn't there when he set the savings up as overdraft protection, and it took more than 6 months for a banker to remember to process my paperwork and add my name to it so I could access the account to transfer funds.
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