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Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)

I am so frustrated with FI right now. We got a lot of rain that turned into snow here yesterday so the roads have been icy in quite a few places. FI is under the impression that he can drive in anything. Yes, he is a good driver, but he is not invincible. There is nothing you can do if you hit ice. You are at the mercy of the ice. Yet when I ask him to drive a little more carefully or maybe to start braking sooner in bad weather he gets all hissy and says he's been driving in Michigan winters his whole life and that I should just trust his driving. I do trust his driving, but in crappy weather there is just so much more he can't control. I'm just worried that one of these days I'm going to get that call that he's in a snowbank. I know I'm worrying a little bit too much I just wish he would realize that accidents happen, no matter how good of a driver you are.

Is this a guy thing? Do you ladies deal with this? Think this way yourselves?
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Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)

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    elanniselannis member
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    edited December 2011
    I feel like FI has this attitude a bit sometimes too. He is a good driver. He's never had an accident, but sometimes he brakes so late that I feel like he's not going to remember to stop. He does this in rain and in the snow too. Part of it is because he likes to slide in the snow (guy thing I guess), but part of it is he thinks he's in control. I think maybe I'm overly cautious because I have had an accident and know how quickly you lose control. So maybe that's the difference with us, but if I say something, he'll usually fix his driving a bit ... for a while at least.
    -Ely

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_men-bad-weather-driving-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7781f02e-0573-4e77-b8b0-b918b1790849Post:437ec946-120f-4a8b-a273-9608bc0a1ddb">Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like FI has this attitude a bit sometimes too. He is a good driver. He's never had an accident, but sometimes he brakes so late that I feel like he's not going to remember to stop. He does this in rain and in the snow too. Part of it is because he likes to slide in the snow (guy thing I guess), but part of it is he thinks he's in control. I think maybe I'm overly cautious because I have had an accident and know how quickly you lose control. So maybe that's the difference with us,<strong> but if I say something, he'll usually fix his driving a bit ... for a while at least.</strong>
    Posted by elannis[/QUOTE]

    <div>My FI is the opposite. If I say something he will just keep doing whatever he's doing more just to try to prove his way is OK. For example, we were driving home one time and it was starting to get dark. After awhile he hadn't turned his lights on, so I said something about it. He said that he could still see fine. I tried to explain that even though he could see, the lights are more so other people can see you better (it was like dusk). So he didn't turn them on the rest of the way even as it kept getting darker. It wasn't ever to the point where it was too dark to see, but you get the picture.</div>
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    elanniselannis member
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    edited December 2011
    FMIL is a horrible driver. She doesn't have accidents, but I get nauseous and headaches and can't watch the road when she drives or I'll give myself a heart attack. I am prone to motion sickness, but sometimes it's just ridiculous how jerky or panicked she seems to be when she drives. She swears she's a great driver and won't take any criticism about her driving. She also hates riding with other people. I think it's a control thing, lol.
    -Ely

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    edited December 2011
    I will admit that I have this syndrome too, so I don't think it's just a guy thing. I think it's partially because I get so annoyed by people around here who seem to forget that they live in Upstate NY and that we get snow & rain & ice EVERY YEAR, so I find it necessary to prove to everyone that it's not that big of a deal to drive in. Now I have an AWD Subaru, which is probably going to make me feel like more of a "superior winter driver" ...



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    edited December 2011
    I think both FI and I are extremely careful driving in bad weather. However, in other aspects of driving I think I'm actually the worse driver. He is super careful and never speeds, whereas sometimes I get a little lead-footed and road rage-y.
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    elanniselannis member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_men-bad-weather-driving-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7781f02e-0573-4e77-b8b0-b918b1790849Post:3f842591-df82-41cc-83b0-8cf5f1b52624">Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent) : My FI is the opposite. If I say something he will just keep doing whatever he's doing more just to try to prove his way is OK. For example, we were driving home one time and it was starting to get dark. After awhile he hadn't turned his lights on, so I said something about it. He said that he could still see fine. I tried to explain that even though he could see, the lights are more so other people can see you better (it was like dusk). So he didn't turn them on the rest of the way even as it kept getting darker. It wasn't ever to the point where it was too dark to see, but you get the picture.
    Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, that'd tick me off too. I don't like people being (potentially) dangerous to prove a point. I'm sure he thought there was no danger, but in cases like that, what's it going to hurt to turn the lights on if it makes you feel better? 
    -Ely

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    MtlBride12MtlBride12 member
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    edited December 2011
    BF is like this, and I think a lot of it is due to the fact that he drives a giant pick up and thinks this makes him invincible. We were hurtling down the side of a cliff (I may be exaggerating slightly) up near Quebec city  and he was just laying on the gas. When I say something he teases me by calling me my mother's name, but he will slow down.

    Of course, I'm like that a bit too - Montreal drivers are insane and you won't get anywhere without a bit of aggression, and like Brisox we get snow and ice EVERY YEAR you'd think people would get winter tires and learn to deal with i t. But no, people lose their minds with the slightest snowfall every single winter. And that makes me ragey.
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    polkadot111polkadot111 member
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    edited December 2011
    FI is like this too. He loves to go to empty lots when it's icy and spin around. This is not a safe idea, but he too thinks he won't EVER get hurt!!  I dont mind driving in the snow, in fact I think it is sometimes pretty fun. But, if I see there is going to be a crazy snow storm coming I wont go on a big drive or anything- and he would still go about his normal routine.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_men-bad-weather-driving-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7781f02e-0573-4e77-b8b0-b918b1790849Post:f142ff35-a2c9-4723-a82c-f468808177c3">Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will admit that I have this syndrome too, so I don't think it's just a guy thing. I think it's partially because I get so annoyed by people around here who seem to forget that they live in Upstate NY and that we get snow & rain & ice EVERY YEAR, so I find it necessary to prove to everyone that it's not that big of a deal to drive in. Now I have an AWD Subaru, which is probably going to make me feel like more of a "superior winter driver" ...
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree that I hate when people loose their minds over it. It comes just like this every year. I just get frustrated that FI doesn't realize you do have to adjust your driving style, even if you're not a super cautious driver. It doesn't help that our two cars are a tiny Civic (at least that's FWD) and my RWD Mustang which is a nightmare in snow.</div>
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    Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_men-bad-weather-driving-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7781f02e-0573-4e77-b8b0-b918b1790849Post:96dc4c34-edb6-44ad-bc99-424708ec591e">Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Men and Bad Weather Driving (vent) : I agree that I hate when people loose their minds over it. It comes just like this every year. I just get frustrated that FI doesn't realize you do have to adjust your driving style, even if you're not a super cautious driver. It doesn't help that our two cars are a tiny Civic (at least that's FWD) and my RWD Mustang which is a nightmare in snow.
    Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

    My Civic can only take snow up to about 4 inches.  Then it gets all pissy, lol.

    That being said, we get an average of 8 inches a year here, so it doesn't see that much.  We have a bigger problem with black ice, which is annoying.  But BF and I are both pretty cautious drivers in weather, and elsewhere.
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    elanniselannis member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh, I forgot my brother. He thinks it's hilarious to be riding passenger and we'll get to an empty parking lot in the snow/ice and he (with no warning) pulls my e-brake. That sends the car into a spin and he loves it. The first time he did that to me I almost killed him.
    -Ely

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    edited December 2011
    BF is a pretty safe driver, but sometimes he has to remind me that I'm a terrible backseat driver in the winter.  I just get too worried.

    Although last year coming down the mountain highway from where we worked I warned him he was taking a turn too fast, he thought I was nuts.  We just missed the barrier as we went off the road onto a trail - we were really lucky.  He felt really bad and takes that particular road a lot slower now.

    We have a Nissan Xterra so it does pretty well in the winter, even though I honestly hate driving and rarely get behind the wheel.
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    lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
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    edited December 2011
    Andrew is a great driver. However, sometimes he think it's fun to take corners fast. Blargh. I just tell him to knock it off.

    I would probably say to your FI, "I think you are a great drive. However- I'm a nervous passenger in the snow/ice. Do you think you can slow down for me so I don't get scared? I would really appreciate it. It would make me feel especially cared for."
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