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Worst Day Ever

Well, not ever EVER, but it sucks right now.

My mom's family is very politically and spiritually different from me (and my mom, and my dad, and everybody else), and they like to pick fights with people who don't share their beliefs, even their own family.

I see them like once every 5 or 10 years, so who cares right?

Well, I am somewhat close to my cousin. We chat now and then. I like her. Today there was a discussion on her FaceBook status that I decided to join in on (mistake, I knew it would be), and brought some facts in to back myself up, and kept things very civil. Her friends called me an idiot and a hippie, and that's fine. Whatever.

But then my cousin belittled both my religious and political (which was never even on the table) beliefs in one fell swoop.

It hurt SO BAD. I mean, it was such a low blow. She knows we don't always agree on how people should express their Chritianity, and we certainly don't agree politically, but.... wow. I thought she was a bigger person than to just bring in a "I don't know how you can call yourself a Christian and vote for Obama."

We were talking about the use of "Happy Holidays" in place of "Merry Christmas" not some hardcore abortion rights thing.

She doesn't even know who I voted for!!!! I have never said one way or another! That is my personal business and not hers or her crazy mother's (who the argument originally started up with last year).

I even apologized and said I shouldn't have joined the discussion and I was out of place. She continued to belittle me in the same way, repeating what she said about me "calling myself a Christian."

I mean, I cannot express to you how much it hurts to have someone I like and respect just freaking judge me like that.... like she has the right! How am I supposed to even speak to her about normal crap anymore? That was unexpected (I guess I should know better) and hurtful and just way out of line.

Anyway, I don't have anyone else to rant to.... so...... I just need a group hug. Can I have one please? Cry
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Re: Worst Day Ever

  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    :( sorry. inconsiderate people suck
  • edited December 2011
    Hug!

    I hate when people get religious and/or political on facebook.  Or anywhere for that matter.  I don't need to know your views, and don't particularly want to, but a lot of people feel COMPELLED to share them and then judge me when I don't agree.  It's crap.  I got called racist because I didn't agree with some of Obama's political platforms.  It was news to me!  That person and I are no longer friends, though I can understand how it would be harder to "defriend" your cousin, IRL or on FB.  Chin up.  I believe in karma.
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  • hisgoldeneyeshisgoldeneyes member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry Jeana that really sucks!!

    I don't really know what to say to make you feel better except that I kinda have experienced this. 

    (Not so much regarding religion/politics)  My aunt who is also my godmother and basically raised me, is very conservative catholic and very much not into "living in sin" type stuff.  Well when me and BF started living together and she found out she refused to tell any of her friends and forbids me from talking about it in front of them.  Her claim is its no one's business but I know she's just "ashamed". 

    Don't let it get to you it really sucks and it feels horrible but just realize that people like that are the ignorant ones.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh Jeana I'm sorry! *hugs*

    I have a couple friends on my facebook that post overly political things and I stay away from those discussions because they get way out of hand very quickly.
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  • edited December 2011
    Acro-- it's EXACTLY like that. I'm a pretty tough person, but this actually made me cry. She's even bringing up that her brother is in the military and how could I blah blah blah.... and so on.

    I mean..... over Happy Holidays? Honestly? Really? I don't know how to salvage this. And these freaking people might come to my wedding. I hope they don't. Can I send their invites a week before the wedding and blame the mail?

    Ugh.
    Anniversary
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_worst-day-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86d7629a-27ea-4468-af4b-5010584a2ee8Post:30184353-d2fc-4f6e-931d-956f497982c3">Re: Worst Day Ever</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can I send their invites a week before the wedding and blame the mail? Ugh.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]


    passive aggressive = win!
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Awww! Jeana that blows, hun! I absolutely hate when people rail on b/c they don't agree with their opinion.  It hurts.  Especially when it's from someone you love. *hugs* Hopefully she'll come to her senses and realize what a jerk she was about it...if not then maybe the mail should lose her invitation!!

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  • edited December 2011
    Quote on my iGoogle page: Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn't be religious people.
      - Doris Egan

    I think Google is trying to tell me something. Like, if I insist on opening my big, fat mouth I should grow thicker skin. Or..... just shut up, which is what I NORMALLY do.

    WHY didn't I listen to the little voice in my head that said "don't do eeet! Keep your opinions to yourself, unlike her! She's being obnoxious, you're not GOOD at obnoxious!"

    I'm not...... really. I'm better at sarcasm and sometimes I can pull off a nice bit of snobbery or wit..... but I just can't do the whole obnoxious thing very well. Undecided

    I feel better talking to you guys about it.
    Laughing
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  • MidniteRaeMidniteRae member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *hugs*!!
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  • hetshuphetshup member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Jeana, I will get on the snuggle train with you. I'm sorry that people suck. We all can be liberal hippy commies with you. Laughing
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  • edited December 2011



    I like that quote - it is so very true. 

    I got all worked up about debating a friend of a friend on facebook, so I can see how hurtful it would be from a family member that you love.
  • edited December 2011
    Sending hugs. I hate people who try and force their views and beliefs on you. it's totally rude, and uncalled for. And in this case, over something so ridiculously silly. 
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
  • edited December 2011
    aaw hugs! That is silly.

    I know it's your cousin and all, but if she's willing to say these kinds of things to you (when everybody else can see), then maybe you're better not talking to her much.  Obviously she doesn't care about your feelings/understand why this would be so upsetting to you.

    Something like this happened to me a while back (kind of like goldeneyes's), my aunt decided to finally express her extreme dislike of BF in a very childish way and told me that I should "just be better off being a whore because then you'd at least make some money."  You know...not the most compelling argument to make me see her side. This was probably 2 or 3 years ago, so we're better now.  But definately not close like we used to be, because I don't trust that she actually understands/listens to me.  This pretty much stemmed because she thought I was going to drop out/fail out of college because idk..i'd want to run away and get married? And do what? I have no idea.  That's what she did.  So of course I'm going to do it too, and yelling at me helps.  //end bitter feelings toward b!tchy aunt.

    Anyways, yea, I understand why you'd not want them to be at the wedding...maybe send it to them on time..but write "Happy Holidays" across the back.  And dot the "i" with a peace sign.  That ought to do it.
  • edited December 2011
    LOL dot the i with a peace sign..... boy I'd REALLY be in hot water then! lol
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hugs, jeana. I'm sorry your cousin said such hurtful things. We all think you're wonderful! Kiss

    Do people really think Jesus is upstair cheering them on when they behave this way? Ugh. It's funny how "Love thy neighbor as thyself" is so often disregarded.

    Just to be evil, you should post this link so she and all her friends can educate themselves about how Christians stole the holiday other cultures already had and claimed it for Jesus. Thus, insisting people say Merry Christmas is just ridiculous.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_solstice

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  • MattsAnnieMattsAnnie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow I thought one of the main things about being a christian(obviously besides believe in God and what he did for us) is knowing not to judge other people. She has no right doing that to you Im sorry someone you care for was soo inconsiderate
  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    HUGS....

    Do you think she was trying to be "cool" infront of her friends (some people never grow out of that phase)
  • edited December 2011
    babybch, I think she was acting exactly like her mother does. It's been drilled into her head that there's only one way to be a Christian, and anyone who doesn't do things exactly that way (which is very intrusive and offensive to other people) is obviously NOT a Christian and needs to be emotionally beaten into submission until they do things the RIGHT way.

    It's sad, because I really thought my cousin was better than her mom. Apparently I was wrong. All it took was me talking about something other than small talk.
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  • edited December 2011
    Aw, jeana, I'm sorry.  Hug!

    I hate how people on both ends of the political spectrum are so closed-minded, yet so vocal. 

    I'd be tempted not to invite any of that side of the family to the wedding!
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  • tafft1tafft1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is why i despise politics and religion discussions. We all have the right to choose what we believe in /choose to follow as adults , i will NEVER understand why there must be one true way to be this or that. While i am not going to discuss what i relate to or define myself as , i will say that i respect other's views as well , i just don't need to be told i'm this horrible person because i don't follow person A's standards of what it means.

    Working in retail i do say "have a nice holiday season" , or something to that regard because who am i to say what they believe in , if at all ? If a customer does say merry christmas , i will say the same ONLY in return. In years past people have been fired for doing such on their own behaf because it offended someone..sigh. It's unfortunate things have to come to this , especially within a family where in my opinion there should be more diversity and understanding. It makes me sad honestly that some people have nothing better to do than to judge others , rather than showing understanding and restraint and respect that some claim that is their driving force. I'm sorry you were going through this and sending my support your way.
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  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Im so sorry! That sucks and I hate when it happens. This is why FB sucks even though Im on it. .

    Hey . . .one less person you have to feed at your wedding though!! :)    (Kidding, I like the mailing the invites late idea though!)
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  • toethumbstoethumbs member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    (((((((((HUG)))))))))

    That's pretty low. And...I'm a Christian (and really right wing too).

    I've actually got the same problem. I'm the only Christian in my family, and I was disowned for it because they were really against it. I haven't talked to them in years. I have no idea who I'm going to invite to my wedding...haha...

    Know exactly how you feel. ;-)
  • edited December 2011
    This sounds like a religious/political discussion with my mother.  She has found religion again since getting sick, and has gotten more conservative as she's aged.  I've learned and become more liberal since moving out, going to college, etc.  I don't engage her anymore when she brings up either subject, even though I usually completely disagree with her.  And I exit any conversation when she tries to pick a fight ASAP, bc I know we'll never agree.

    *hugs*  I'm sorry, I know it still hurts. 
  • hisgoldeneyeshisgoldeneyes member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey so I'm at work and I was listening to my ipod to get through the day while I worked and a song came up that really made me think of you and this situation!

    Kinda applies I think at least!

    Lily Allen - FU very much

    except FU is actually spelled out

    lol I hope it doesn't offend anyone its a pretty good song about ignorant people.  And she says FU in the sweetest voice it amost sounds nice lol...hmm or maybe more menacing lol  Hope this helps! Smile
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_worst-day-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86d7629a-27ea-4468-af4b-5010584a2ee8Post:30377cd3-bcb1-4108-b231-99c92e273196">Re: Worst Day Ever</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lily Allen - FU very much
    Posted by hisgoldeneyes[/QUOTE]

    My friend introduced me to this song and it's been my favorite ever since :)

    One kid on my friends list is super, super conservative and it drives me crazy.  When I say super conservative, I mean that he is in groups that are devoted to how everyone that isn't just like him will be going to hell, and he has pictures of Jesus as his profile pic, and he speaks in bible verses constantly.  Several months ago he changed his profile pic to one of an aborted baby because some group he was in told him to. There were several comments, and I chimed in with something along the lines of "That's disgusting, I don't care what your views are, that pic shouldn't be allowed" and he went on about how I was a heathen and would be damned to hell for being "pro-death" and all sorts of other things.  He also lost a good friend because he told her he didn't approve of her marriage and she would be going to hell for being a Catholic marrying a Lutheran man. 

    I would have deleted him long ago, but I like FB stalking him and seeing how crazy he is. He was never a friend, just someone I worked with when I was like 15.  How he looked me up and remembered me, I'll never know.

    And I agree with sending the invite late and blaming the mail :)

    Good luck and *hugs* !
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry jeana!  I hate closeminded people.  Because of my job people are always trying to talk politics with me but I try not to get into it with people who I know would be judgemental because it's just a waste of oxygen.  Some people just have no respect for other's people's opinion.

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  • edited December 2011
    oo this made me think of something else similar!

    You ever walk by the union in free speech alley on whatever day of the week the crazy bible beaters come to yell at sinful college kids?  I don't walk by the union much anymore..but whenever I did it was a funny time.

    Best thing I ever heard there: "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to Taco Bell makes you a taco!"  By like the main guy for their group.  That was their argument.

    I always think those people are rediculous.  Like you're going to convince me to stop my ways because you yelled at me and had your kids hold up signs all day?  Also hate it because I know some very religious and very good people who are classmates of mine.  How dare those people yell at kids who actually ARE following a belief system similar to theirs (you know, without the BSC). 

    Anyways..obviously people with very strong opinions need to take a couple of communications courses...

    hope you're all better from feeling yucky about this!
  • edited December 2011
    Haha Lily I know exactly what you mean about Free Speech Alley! They're pretty nuts. I hate walking by the Union around lunchtime, there's always people trying to shove propaganda in my face.

    I am feeling less crappy today, but it's still weighing on my mind. I'm just like that, though. I'll overthink it and eventually I'll let it drop, but I'll always remember it when I talk to her, and I'll always keep my distance.

    I guess I hold grudges. Not very Christian of me. Surprised
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm pretty late to this party but here's a belated hug, you're a better person than for not blowing up and calling her out on a public forum for her hypocrisy. If nothing else, take solace in that (or just giggle over how much she sucks).
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  • edited December 2011
    ::maaaaaaaasssive hugs::

    That totally sucks, no ifs ands or buts about it. :( I'm a big believer in respecting other people's beliefs, even if they're different from your own, and treating others with kindness and respect, but unfortunately, that doesn't always seem to be standard protocol in society.

    One big thing that drives me nuts - labeling. Because I voted for Obama, I must be a tree-hugging liberal. Because I'm a liberal, I must be a poor Christian who worships false gods. Because I believe in the freedom of choice, I'm a baby killer. Geezus people...get a grip.

    As for the whole living in sin...I once had a former friend from high school give me a hard time about the fact that I was "living in sin"...I told her I figured God had bigger fish to fry, like starving children in Darfur and the fact that she was working on her second divorce at age 23 because she banged her husband's coworker. Didn't go over so well.

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