Gifts from the uninvited

wink0erin

A girl my boyfriend grew up with and that I was friends with in school is getting married. We are not invited to the wedding (that I know of) and that's fine... but I still want to send her a gift.

Is there some sort of etiquette I need to know about this? I would post on the E board but I don't want to get torn in half over it if there's some crazy rule that I don't know about. I figure you guys are "safe" =P

cu97tiger

That is very nice of you and there is nothing wrong with sending a gift. Maybe writ something in the card like 'we hope you enjoy your special day's so it's kind of obvious you know you aren't invited.

DanieKA

It's nice of you to want to send a gift. I don't see anything wrong with it. Just be very careful with your wording on the card so that it doesn't come off as some sort of spiteful gift b/c you're pissed you weren't invited to the wedding. Does that make sense?

ETA: Love your engagement pony. Please activate that power because it's been freaking crazy around here. 

wink0erin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gifts-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86f9e93e-082b-4828-9ccc-ea55d74e5439Post:d63e0037-cedb-4afd-8115-bb2f3d2c3724">Re: Gifts from the uninvited</a>:
[QUOTE]It's nice of you to want to send a gift. I don't see anything wrong with it. Just be very careful with your wording on the card so that it doesn't come off as some sort of spiteful gift b/c you're pissed you weren't invited to the wedding. Does that make sense? ETA: Love your engagement pony. Please activate that power because it's been freaking crazy around here. 
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, I try to keep up but sometimes the BSC explodes whenever I'm busy at work! </div>

FreeSpirit666

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gifts-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:86f9e93e-082b-4828-9ccc-ea55d74e5439Post:ca298f8b-ae00-45b5-b8da-b60de976fdf5">Re: Gifts from the uninvited</a>:
[QUOTE]Sending it after the wedding is probably a good idea.  You could also send it a week or two before the wedding.  This way it won't look like you're trying to guilt them into inviting you or anything.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Agreed

wink0erin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gifts-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86f9e93e-082b-4828-9ccc-ea55d74e5439Post:ca298f8b-ae00-45b5-b8da-b60de976fdf5">Re: Gifts from the uninvited</a>:
[QUOTE]Sending it after the wedding is probably a good idea.  You could also send it a week or two before the wedding.  This way it won't look like you're trying to guilt them into inviting you or anything.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>Good idea! From what I know they haven't even sent out invites yet. It's still a few months away!</div>

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gifts-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86f9e93e-082b-4828-9ccc-ea55d74e5439Post:3da71b20-7353-4dbe-8fe6-655c79bc0786">Re: Gifts from the uninvited</a>:
[QUOTE]That is very nice of you and there is nothing wrong with sending a gift. Maybe writ something in the card like 'we hope you enjoy your special day's so it's kind of obvious you know you aren't invited.
Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly this.</div><div>
</div><div>Really sweet of you!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

kaitlynmichelle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gifts-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:86f9e93e-082b-4828-9ccc-ea55d74e5439Post:ca298f8b-ae00-45b5-b8da-b60de976fdf5">Re: Gifts from the uninvited</a>:
[QUOTE]Sending it after the wedding is probably a good idea.  You could also send it a week or two before the wedding.  This way it won't look like you're trying to guilt them into inviting you or anything.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.  I've read on E a few times when people get gifts from someone not invited they wonder if they should invite them.  I would send it right before or after.</div>