Not Engaged Yet

Alex and his cloud of puppies

Background: Whitney and Alex have decided to adopt a puppy. Whitney is known for being anti-marriage (her dad had a secret family growing up, as a result of such experiences she is not really pro-marriage)

http://www.nbc.com/whitney/video/happily-unmarried/1368318

Thoughts? Reactions?


Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well my first thought is Awww! Look at the puppies!

    Beyond that I think that is a fairly good representation of a lot of people's attitude toward couples who choose not to get married. They assume something is wrong with the relationship. It's the same sort of thing with women who don't want children. A lot of people assume they can't have children. I think in general when someone considers something very important to them (such as marriage or having children) there is like this mental block inside their head that prevents them from understanding that not everyone wants the same things they want.


  • I agree. I think it is hard for me to wrap my head around couples choosing to not marry or to not have kids. I try to see it from their perspective, but tend to decide something is wrong.
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    Jen, I have to admit that that frustrates me... I KNOW I don't want to have kids, but I hate having to explain why, or being made to feel like there is something "wrong" with me.

    Although the line "If I had a soul, he would be my mate." definitely made me snort laugh.



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  • I hate when others have negative reactions to people's life choices.  There are people out there who don't want kids, or want to get married fine by me.  This is not the wrong choice it's a choice and for them probably the best choice. At least they recognize what they do/don't want in their life and are able to stand up for that.  Although I think people can change their minds about these things over time.  I didn't want kids until I met my BF.

    Anniversary

  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    Danser - I agree that in some instances, people change their minds, however, I have never wanted kids and I am 100% certain that that will never change. I don't hate kids - I love all of my friends kids. However, my favorite part about them is that I can give them back. It's selfish, and I'm 100% okay with it. I have never had a real maternal instinct - and, at 31, I feel like if I had one, it would have kicked in by now. So, maybe there is something "wrong" with me.



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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • <p>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:a822238d-1b20-43e7-907c-2ddfe638fe70">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]Danser - I agree that in some instances, people change their minds, however, I have never wanted kids and I am 100% certain that that will never change. I don't hate kids - I love all of my friends kids. However, my favorite part about them is that I can give them back. It's selfish, and I'm 100% okay with it. I have never had a real maternal instinct - and, at 31, I feel like if I had one, it would have kicked in by now. So, maybe there is something "wrong" with me.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]
    Nothing wrong at all with you Bri.  </p><p>
    I sometimes feel like I don't have much of a maternal instinct, but my cats have survived and everytime I hang out with my niece she survives too.
    </p>

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:a822238d-1b20-43e7-907c-2ddfe638fe70">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]Danser - I agree that in some instances, people change their minds, however, I have never wanted kids and I am 100% certain that that will never change. I don't hate kids - I love all of my friends kids. However, my favorite part about them is that I can give them back. It's selfish, and I'm 100% okay with it. I have never had a real maternal instinct - and, at 31, I feel like if I had one, it would have kicked in by now. So, maybe there is something "wrong" with me.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think there is anything wrong with you.  It is better to know yourself than to be pressured into taking on as big a role as a parent only to regret it or resent it for the rest of your life.  </div>
    image

    image
  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:c38c940c-832e-4a99-acfd-c469c5824440">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jen, I have to admit that that frustrates me... I KNOW I don't want to have kids, but I hate having to explain why, or being made to feel like there is something "wrong" with me. Although the line "If I had a soul, he would be my mate." definitely made me snort laugh.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry to frustrate you! I once read this awesome article about people not wanting to have kids and I thought it shed all this light on the dim view I had. Then years later I was chatting with a friend and she was like "We don't want kids." And I remembered concluding she'd change her mind. Or he would. Or they just weren't ready yet. And my view was cleary not changed.So I guess I was just admitting it. I suck at this.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:f4077a21-c247-4d67-8eb7-54276436bf4e">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies : I don't think there is anything wrong with you.  It is better to know yourself than to be pressured into taking on as big a role as a parent only to regret it or resent it for the rest of your life.  
    Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

    I like your ticker title.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:072eb2e4-9839-438c-bcbb-e093d13da97d">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies : I like your ticker title.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks!  :)</div>
    image

    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_alex-and-his-cloud-of-puppies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87167fd8-4ba4-48b4-8350-8aaee45cc053Post:c38c940c-832e-4a99-acfd-c469c5824440">Re: Alex and his cloud of puppies</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jen, I have to admit that that frustrates me... I KNOW I don't want to have kids, but I hate having to explain why, or being made to feel like there is something "wrong" with me. Although the line "If I had a soul, he would be my mate." definitely made me snort laugh.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]


    i2i, Bri.

    One of my friends has a daughter but never wants to get married or live with a significant other. I got married but have never wanted children.
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