Secretly Pregnant

Elle1036

Has anybody seen this show?  It's a new series on Discovery Health that features women who are hiding their pregnancies for one reason or another.  I've found most of the episodes to be much less dramatic that the premise suggested, but the most recent episode featured a 40-year-old woman who was hiding her pregnancy because the father was her 19-year-old lover.

The age difference is creepy enough, but when you add in the fact that this woman already has two daughters, one of whom is 15, and she invited her teenage babydaddy to move into her house with her and her daughters, I got a major case of the yuckos.

I know we've talked about age differences a few times and I don't really mean for this to be another thread about it, but I wanted to see if everyone would be as creeped as I was.  Does a 21-year gap bother you?  Does it bother you more with the 15-year-old daughter in the picture?  Would it bother you equally if the gender roles were reversed?

elannis

Ew, that bothers me no matter what gender is what age. I just couldn't imagine dating someone as old as my dad. I just don't get it. The 15 year old daughter being there just makes it super creepy.  If the woman and the guy got married, the 15 year old would have a step dad that is 4 years older than she is.

audrewuh

That's really going to mess up her daughters! Can you imagine if the daughter went to high school with this guy? What if they had dated?!?!? Eww. The issue is if it was a 40 yr old guy with a 19 yr old girl, he'd be called a pedophile. 

I still feel sorry for the daughters... 

ravenray

 I haven't seen the show but that would bother me. 
I mean, clearly it is not my place to judge someone, but with that much of an age gap difference there must be some reason?  I think the older the couple is the less it bothers me.  30 and 40 is a little ick but not too bad.  21 is crazy though.  If you are younger I am going to side eye.  Gender reversal doesn't bother me. However, like I said everyone’s relationship is different and while that would never make me happy if it makes some people happy, whatever!!

LizzyTish88

Honestly? My first thought was, "I need to see this show."


But really, yeah it's creepy.

audrewuh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:571f35d4-4cea-4c8c-8017-3f3b69e9ac4f">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly? <strong>My first thought was, "I need to see this show."</strong> But really, yeah it's creepy.
Posted by cdechristopher[/QUOTE]

<div>Agree!!</div>

TheMutleys

That type of gap REALLY bothers me.  She is a predator, plain and simple. 

I am not against large age gaps across the board.  I just feel like it really depends on how old the youngest person is when they meet.  I think that the younger person needs to be in at least their late 30's with a 20+ year age gap.  I think that the younger person needs to be in at least their mid-20s with a 10-15 year gap.  I think there is something wrong with anyone who is in their 20s dating someone in high school.  I also find something off when one person is just starting college and the other person is out of college. 

More than anything, I think it has to do with what stage you are at in life when you meet.  

leia1979

I'd say dating someone half your age or less is gross. That math works at any age. But in general, I think the gap can increase as you get older. 30 and 40? No problem. 20 and 30? That's kind of weird, because the 20 year old is probably still in school, and I would worry about the older person (regardless of gender) preying on the younger person.

And I do think the presence of the 15 year old daughter makes it even more awkward (though it's plenty bad without).

ETA: Mutley's last sentence above sums it up for me. Life stage is the most important part. A high schooler doesn't have much in common with someone who's 28 and works full-time.

ravenray

Does anyone worry that he might get tired of the mom and go for the daughter?  It crossed my mind.....

LizzyTish88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:c6dd445e-9b06-417f-a22d-12add3f5059f">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]That type of gap REALLY bothers me.  She is a predator, plain and simple. <strong> I am not against large age gaps across the board.  I just feel like it really depends on how old the youngest person is when they meet</strong>.  I think that the younger person needs to be in at least their late 30's with a 20+ year age gap.  I think that the younger person needs to be in at least their mid-20s with a 10-15 year gap.  I think there is something wrong with anyone who is in their 20s dating someone in high school.  I also find something off when one person is just starting college and the other person is out of college. <strong> More than anything, I think it has to do with what stage you are at in life when you meet.  
</strong>Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

This. I know a couple that has a 14 year difference between the husband and wife. It doesn't seem as creepy when the wife is 28 and the husband is 42 then when the husband/guy is 33 and the wife/girl is 19.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:769a9109-34f3-4fc6-bdd1-931ae502c078">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone worry that he might get tired of the mom and go for the daughter?  It crossed my mind.....
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

<div>I thought about that, too! </div><div>
</div><div>And that poor baby is going to grow up so confused, having a dad and sister that are that similar in age.</div>

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:71472ccd-c2c6-4c2b-af1b-99948bb710e4">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Secretly Pregnant : Yeah I thought that too.  I mean the guy is going to have way more in common with the daughter than his baby's mama.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
No kidding.  Oh I feel so bad for this girl :(

jorja86

I think it's definitely creepy. That kind of age difference might be ok if we were talking about one person being 25, and one person being in their 40s, but I still have a hard time believing that a 21 year gap doesn't seriously effect your relationship in some way. I'm 25, and I can't imagine having enough in common with someone in their 40s to have a functional relationship. However, it might not be for me, but I don't think that it's wrong once we're talking about two ADULTS.

When we're talking about a teenager, and someone old enough to be their parent, I think that is completely wrong. There's some sort of exploitation going on there. Not to mention; what's going on in that woman's life that she feels she's getting something out of a relationship with a 19 year-old?

I had a friend in high school whose mother left her father for one of her older brother's (who was two years older than us) friends. She actually walked in on them together, and I'm pretty sure she's still dealing with some issues stemming from that whole mess.

peekaboo2011

I hadn't heard of this show, but for a hot second, Elle, I thought this thread was about you outing your secret pregnancy.

Peaseblossom55

wow really creepy.  I didn't know the show existed.  I don't mind large age gaps like 29 and 49, but 40 and 19 is really creepy.  It's about two people being in two very different places in life and the older person taking advantage.  

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:61e0b973-67af-4c90-b8f0-8bc5720c1dff">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]I hadn't heard of this show, but for a hot second, Elle, I thought this thread was about you outing your secret pregnancy.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I kind of hoped I would get a few people with my subject line.</div><div>
</div><div>*evil laugh*</div>

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_secretly-pregnant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a6eb52f-cbe2-4d4d-9b21-24f85a1ff876Post:52f0269e-c2b7-42cc-90dd-5ef0731ee1e5">Re: Secretly Pregnant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Secretly Pregnant : I kind of hoped I would get a few people with my subject line. *evil laugh*
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

We are so going to be BFFs once we meet  IRL.