Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP

waj

So my boyfriend said in the next two months he will propose. I have bought all the books, magazines, subscribed to all the wedding sites and its not helping me. Everyday that I read another passage of Everything Wedding or look at GREAT intimate wedding photos it makes me sad. At first I loved looking at the photos and all the cool venues and ideas these wonderful brides have, but now I feel sad and just have to vent. I think about all the stuff I CANT do because I have to wait for him.

jillargiris

At least you have a timeframe.  Try going to design a ring and all that's left is for the BF to call the jeweler to give her a budget, so she can begin the process...and no call as of yet.  Mind you, we've been looking at rings since May and just went into the jeweler a couple weeks ago, but the suspense is killing me too. 

I'm very much a planner, so I've been looking all over the place for neat ideas, yet I can't do anything until we're engaged. 

Believe me, at least you are working with a timeframe...that's something.

Ana_2985

Then stop reading anything until your boyfriend proposes?

If you're old enough to get married you should be old enough to know that sometimes you have to be patient.

Try being excited that your boyfriend may propose instead of being sad about you want now.

calindi

Patient: "It hurts when I do this!"
Doctor: "Well, stop doing that!"

Put it all aside, remind yourself that these are the last few months of "just dating" so you should enjoy them, and get off this site until you're engaged if it's driving you nuts!

*Grrr, I posted as my old SN and realized it wouldn't show up*

hetshup

Gosh, Kat. Get rid of all your perfect wedding photos!

PaigeMcC

Or you could be excited that you're about to spend the rest of your life with the man you love and not worry about pretty princess magazines.  These things will all come together in time.

Hazel_B

 I was expecting you to say that you felt sad because these weddings were not realistic to any potential budget and it was making you sad. That is completely fair.

BUT, you can't wait TWO months for him to propose?

This is nonesense, he will have an opinion when the time comes and there will be plenty of things you can't do because of him.

You are setting yourself up for failure by not being engaged and by not having his views.

HeartOverMind

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:57a4deeb-5aa7-4634-aaaa-62eef5b53377">Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>So my boyfriend said in the next two months he will propose</strong>. I have bought all the books, magazines, subscribed to all the wedding sites and its not helping me. Everyday that I read another passage of Everything Wedding or look at GREAT intimate wedding photos it makes me sad. At first I loved looking at the photos and all the cool venues and ideas these wonderful brides have, but now I feel sad and just have to vent. I think about all the stuff I CANT do because I have to wait for him.
Posted by waj[/QUOTE]

Why did he tell you he was going to propose? Is anyone else confused by that? I would definitely want that to be a surprise and I don't even like being surprised. I mean, that's awesome that you know it's coming but still, kinda strange.

What's the big deal about waiting two months anyway??

mellimel19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:0c77778d-1141-4df8-bfa0-d4166b687e62">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE] I was expecting you to say that you felt sad because these weddings were not realistic to any potential budget and it was making you sad. That is completely fair. BUT, you can't wait TWO months for him to propose? This is nonesense, he will have an opinion when the time comes and there will be plenty of things you can't do because of him. You are setting yourself up for failure by not being engaged and by not having his views.
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I was thinking. How about putting aside all the books and magazines, and just reveling in the fact that the man you want to spend your life with is about to propose to you?

MLekathLEEN

If he told you when he's doing it I would slow down and enjoy the anticipation of the proposal, not worrying about planning. At this time in December, you'll be up to your elbows in flowers and dresses and vendors and...(you get the idea) Why rush it?

waj

I have told myself time and time again that I need to stop looking, but I cant help it. I also a planner so that doesn't help either When you have known someone for 12 years to me two months can seem, like a lifetime. I don't see the problem with him telling me a time frame, I rather know that than where it will take place and have seen the ring.  

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:06e9dd77-aba0-4a19-9771-eed241ac1948">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I have told myself time and time again that I need to stop looking, but I cant help it. I also a planner so that doesn't help either</strong> When you have known someone for 12 years to me two months can seem, like a lifetime. I don't see the problem with him telling me a time frame, I rather know that than where it will take place and have seen the ring.  
Posted by waj[/QUOTE]

Heart- a lot of times girls on here get a general timeline of when they'll be proposed too. It's an individual preference I think.

Waj- first of all, just use a bit more punctuation. Other than that, you are not helpless to stop looking. If it's making you that crazy and upset, then you stop. It's a choice. I don't feel sympathy for people who won't take responsibility for their actions.

calindi

Meh, I'm indifferent about him telling you a time frame.  If it works for you both, then cool.  But clearly it's driving you nuts.

Seriously, you have self control.  Put down the magazines, step away from the wedding websites, and focus on making the most of your last two months of "just dating". And two months is not a lifetime by a long shot.

rosacea

Two months is not that long.  Just be happy you're with the person you love, etc. etc.  And maybe stop looking at wedding pictures.

MLekathLEEN

So 12 years=144 months. 2 months is only 1.3% of the time you've known him, so it's really nothing at all.

FI told me within the year in 2008 and he proposed this year. He also told me 6 months- a year and it ended up being 4 days after that. To me, timelines of a proposal mean nothing.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:c199e361-ac8d-4cbb-8ebf-7f26a466d6a7">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]So 12 years=144 months. 2 months is only 1.3% of the time you've known him, so it's really nothing at all. FI told me within the year in 2008 and he proposed this year. <strong>He also told me 6 months- a year and it ended up being 4 days after that</strong>. To me, timelines of a proposal mean nothing.
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This means your proposal is invalid.  Time for a re-do.</div>

StarGazingHiker

If you've known him for 12 years... 2 months shouldn't seem very long. Take a breath, put away the magazines/pictures/everything wedding related and enjoy the anticipation. You won't ever have this anticipation again! Enjoy it now and relax. Enjoy knowing that the man you love is getting ready to propose to you!

 But seriously, put away everything wedding related and take a break.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:b6880ec7-ea1a-4fb4-aa8d-6f95afc0d31f">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : This means your proposal is invalid.  <strong>Time for a re-do.</strong>
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

This re-do proposal should include an upgraded e-ring too. THREE CARATS AND NOTHING LESS!

katanne9

Waaaaaaaahhhh

We were all there. You'll get there too. Be patient.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:b6880ec7-ea1a-4fb4-aa8d-6f95afc0d31f">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : This means your proposal is invalid.  Time for a re-do.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

DANGIT!!!!! I better see if Old Navy will let me return 150 pairs of size 5 flip flops.

and yes, 3 carat MINIMUM this time!

rosacea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:30ffdfef-7d33-47ce-826c-e91bdd841d33">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : DANGIT!!!!! I better see if Old Navy will let me return 150 pairs of size 5 flip flops. and yes, 3 carat MINIMUM this time!
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

You just killed me dead.

loopy82

I remember being at that stage. Looking at stuff and being impatient for the proposal. Then the planning begins. Well into the planning I wondered why I was so impatient to start. It's stressful. Right now it seems like it is going to be fun and wonderful and happy and exciting. That feeling fades far sooner than you would like. All the fun planning becomes tedious work.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:30ffdfef-7d33-47ce-826c-e91bdd841d33">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : DANGIT!!!!! I better see if Old Navy will let me return 150 pairs of size 5 flip flops. and yes, 3 carat MINIMUM this time!
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

Too funny for work!  STOP IT!  I'm not allowed to laugh out loud at my desk, it makes people think I'm not working or something.

jilly2121

OP at first I was like you looking at all this wedding stuff, magazines and websites. Then when I came to this board I realized what is the point if you AREN"T ENGAGED? The more I would look at the wedding stuff the more I was freaking out about when the proposal is coming. What makes it worse is that my bf taunts me with when he's proposing (in a joking way) but I just try and relax and not think about it to much. Like other people said you have a timeline. I know my bf put a deposit on the ring and he took his dad to see it but that's all I know and to be honest Id rather have it that way. I want to be surprised and caught off guard and let it happen when I least expect it. I think its more romantic that way.

oceana919

1. Slow your roll.

2. If two months feels like a "lifetime", then 12 years must seem like milleniums.

3. Slow your roll.

4. Being a "planner" isn't an excuse to plan your wedding in advance, start subscribing to wedding magazines before you're even engaged, buying your dress before you're engaged, booking vendors, etc. Think about it - if you really followed that logic, then will you have the baby's nursery already set up before you're even knocked up?

Do not plan before you are engaged. Period. Discuss general idea for what you would both like for your wedding (where you'd want to get married, generally how large of a wedding, general vibe)? Sure. Book your venue? NO. Figure out a very general budget so you can start saving (ie. "We'll probably have a wedding that costs between $XX and $XX, so we should start putting aside $XX per month")? Sure. Having your entire guest list and seating chart done? NO. Huge vast differences between discussing ideas and actually planning.

5. Slow your roll.

6. Please take this time to enjoy your relationship as it stands right now. Not a month into the future, not a year into the future - right now. Before you know it, you will be neck deep in flowers, fabric swatches and vendors and you'll be referreeing family members on what kind of shoes the BMs are going to wear. You will miss this, believe me.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:27bf843e-b118-4e49-975f-e1295cee17a1">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : Too funny for work!  STOP IT!  I'm not allowed to laugh out loud at my desk, it makes people think I'm not working or something.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

THIS... I work in HR, when I laugh people wonder!  Cut it out already! :P

MLekathLEEN

Sorry, I'm the only person in the office and need to keep myself entertained.

 I love the friday before a holiday

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pictures-of-great-weddings-doest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8c45fbf1-fdf7-44c6-acc9-17c98e9d40dbPost:aa5cfb74-67d4-4705-8d1b-0d61ee4126e1">Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pictures of GREAT Weddings DOES NOT HELP : THIS... I work in HR, when I laugh people wonder!  Cut it out already! :P
Posted by dwest2201[/QUOTE]

Some posts need a NSFW warning label.

leia1979

OP, put the bridal magazines down and step away!

Sure, it's fun to look, but it sounds like you went overboard. Put it all away for now, and then go back to looking once you're engaged. Two months will fly by if you don't stress yourself out.

bethsmiles

2 months is not a big deal, my BF won't be proposing for at least another year. Just put the bridal stuff down and start living your life for now. Enjoy your relationship as it is now because right now is a good time too.

calindi

If you need to, find some other goal to occupy yourself for the next 2 months.

Consider making sure your nails and hands are in tip-top shape so that they'll be pretty when you get a ring slid on that finger!

Also, maybe try to see if you can get in shape?  I'd want any pictures right after my engagement to look pretty!

Those have been my two goals since they're both for my own best interest anyway - I'm seriously failing on the nails, but I'm working out more!